The Blue Fairy: “A boy who won’t be good might just as well be made of wood.”

While many children enjoyed the story of Pinocchio as a cautionary tale about responsibility and honesty, Mitt Romney apparently thought it was an educational documentary. He must’ve been bewildered why Pinocchio wanted to be human, related to the idea of a conscience being something that he didn’t have and was a pest and liked the idea of others pulling his strings as long as it meant he got to have what he wanted.

On numerous occasions, Romney has demonstrated that he has more in common with firewood than fired workers. Whether it’s obliviously torturing his dog by strapping him to the roof of his car, bragging about liking to fire people, casually betting $10,000 or mentioning that his wife has “a couple of Cadillacs” in a state where most people couldn’t afford even one, all that remains to confirm suspicions is for a woodpecker to perch on his block shaped head and begin pecking away.

Mitt Romney IS made out of wood. He speaks in a wooden way, he is as stiff as a plank when dressed in jeans, he doesn’t allow cigarettes or lit matches around him and is even physically attracted to wood, “The trees here are the right height!” (Sequoias, hide your children).

As the quote above says, there is no point in a bad person being human. If Romney had a Jiminy Cricket, he’d have sprayed it with (Corporate) Raid(er) and pink slipped The Blue Fairy. He does not want to be “a real boy”, he likes not having feelings or a heart, it makes life so much easier for those who just care about satisfying themselves. But as wooden as Romney is, he still isn’t Presidential timber.

 

The Blue Fairy: “A lie keeps growing and growing until it’s as plain as the nose on your face.”

Mitt Romney’s untiring capacity for lying is a defining trait. By not having a conscience, he has nothing to regulate him when speaking lies instead of truth, not even the weight of his enormously long and growing nose. The GOP seems to be like a cheerleader at the Slander Bowl, rooting for Romney to keep lying and gain more yardage with each one. There only seems to be a lazy pretense at Romney’s lies not being lies, it’s just part of the game to lie and get the public to buy into them so he can win the race. And at least in the GOP primary, Romney seems to have won…by a very long nose.

 

The Coachman: Give a bad boy enough rope, and he’ll soon make a jackass of himself.

In the story of Pinocchio, he goes to Pleasure Island which is run by greedy men who lure in the naive with promises of giving them everything they want but in the end, turn them into working slaves of the wealthy. For Romney, this wasn’t evil, it was a reasonable career choice.

As part of the process of turning him into fodder for the wealthy, the wooden boy is turned into a jackass. One thing we can say about Romney is that when it comes to stories he likes, he’s a purist.

If the Disney version of the Pinocchio story was told without Jiminy Cricket and Geppetto and after transforming into a jackass, Pinocchio won the GOP nomination for the presidency, the parallels would be almost identical. In this updated version, Pinocchio would seek to remain wooden and oppose universal healthcare but allow tax credits for sandpaper and lacquer. He would be just fine with the Koch Brothers or whomever pulling his strings as long as he gets to perform on the biggest stage.

And how would the signature song change?

When you wish upon a lie,
Makes no difference how or why.
Everything your heart desires,
Trickles down to you.

If your lie is just a scheme,
No agenda’s too extreme.
When you wish upon a lie,
As schemers do.

Lies are kind,
They bring to those who love them
The sweet fulfillment of
Their secret longing.

Like a dog bolted on the roof,
Lies stand up and see you through.
When you wish upon a lie
As schemers do.

So, whether or not Romney is swallowed by a whale of a lie or ends up a jackass for abandoning his conscience, he’ll always be Romnocchio to me.

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KQµårk 死神
8 years ago

Pretty good summary of how Romney’s lies and never changing positions hurt him politically on all sides.

Projecting moderation while professing extremism is quite a trick, and Romney may perhaps grasp the brass ring. But he makes everyone uneasy. Moderate Republican voters, of whom there may be more than meet the eye, may worry that President Romney will be captive to a GOP Congress beholden to the base. Tea Party types may worry that he’ll shake the Etch-A-Sketch again when dancing to a different piper, the general electorate and/or a divided Congress. No one, in any case, likes a liar, and people across the political spectrum know that Romney lies from sunup to sundown. Democrats know that nothing he says about Obama is true; conservatives know that nothing he says about his past positions and actions is true; and moderates know, or should know, that he’s betrayed them to the base.

http://xpostfactoid.blogspot.com/2012/04/gop-conjures-up-candidate.html

All pols who are running for president have to do this parlor trick of stumping to the base while appealing to the center. In fact Obama has probably done this better than any pol since St. Ronnie. Don’t forget what a centrist campaign even W ran in 2000 against Gore even though anyone who knew his history knew it was a charade.

Romney started out in politics as such a moderate that his own base does not trust him so he turned so far right that moderates now feel betrayed. In a way part of it is not even Romney’s fault because he had to shake the Etch-a-Sketch and rewrite his positions so much to appeal to an ultra-right wing base that doing the normal tact to the center that presidential candidates do will just confirm the mistrust everyone has in him.

bito
8 years ago

I ask you, who would vote for anyone for President if they pulled this stunt? Can you imagine if PBO did this? He would be impeached!

Romney using ethics exception to limit disclosure of Bain holdings

Republican presidential front-runner Mitt Romney, whose wealth has become a central issue in the 2012 campaign, has taken advantage of an obscure exception in federal ethics laws to avoid disclosing the nature and extent of his holdings.

By offering a limited description of his assets, Romney has made it difficult to know precisely where his money is invested, whether it is offshore or in controversial companies, or whether those holdings could affect his policies or present any conflicts of interest.

[….]

Several outside experts across the political spectrum, however, say Romney’s disclosure is the most opaque they have encountered, with some suggesting the filing effectively defeats the spirit of disclosure requirements.

“His approach turns the whole purpose of the ethics statute on its ear,” said Cleta Mitchell, a Republican lawyer who has represented dozens of candidates and officials in the disclosure process, including Romney’s leading challenger for the GOP nomination, Rick Santorum.

Much more at: http://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/romney-using-ethics-exception-to-limit-disclosure-of-bain-holdings/2012/04/05/gIQARcVmxS_story.html?tid=pm_politics_pop

I asked the other day if he had any oil interests in his holdings, I guess. Who would vote for him when you don’t know where his interests lie? Are they in China, India, Russia, hell they could be in Iran, we can’t tell.

This blows me away!

bito
8 years ago
Reply to  bito

Ah-Ha! This finally hit MSNBC, the “liberal network,” and it took Rev. Al to do it! I just think this is major, unprecedented and close to a scam. Where do his interests lie? Will he be pushing for a new missile system and the public not knowing he has a lot invested in MIC corporations? Push for more oil pipelines while invested in tar sands in Canada? The list goes on and works very well with KQ’s excellent comment on Romneys lying IMHO.

Nirek
8 years ago
Reply to  bito

Bito, you are not alone. I can’t understand how people can actually think Mitt is better than our President. They must be ignorant.

KillgoreTrout
8 years ago
Reply to  Nirek

I think the reelection of George Bush proves that the GOP doesn’t really concern themselves too much about the character and ability a president may have. They just want one of their own as a puppet, with the corporations and MIC pulling the strings.

Nirek
8 years ago
Reply to  KillgoreTrout

Too true.

bito
8 years ago
Reply to  Nirek

Nirek, It’s amazing how many lies about President Obama are out there and how often the media lets them go unchallenged in their false quest of balance. Someone using facts and another using lies does not equal balance. On our twitter timeline you will see a tweet about about GOOP Senator calling for PBO to apologize for calling the Ryan “Path to Poverty” budget as “Social Darwinism” when he was quoting Newt’s words. And that’s how lies start.

I can’t believe that the news on Romney hiding his investments isn’t HUGE news. This is worse than Cheney and Haliburton, Romney’s are completely hidden. Is he invested in Russian oil and will that affect his decision making? How about Rayathon or some other MIC corporation? Will that make want to push a new missile system? Oil sands in Canada, Pipeline companies, oil shippers….. The list goes on and they are all secret and using a loophole to keep them that way?
Has any other president or candidate even tried this?
This has a WOW factor of 10 to me.

Nirek
8 years ago
Reply to  bito

Nobody is worse than the evil one. Mitt is a close second though. As far as I’m concerned cheney is the most evil person on the planet.

Nirek
8 years ago

Why is it that the media lets these politicians lie and lie? They used to call them on their untruthful statements. Now they just let them hit all their talking points and never question their lies.

SueInCa
8 years ago

Adlib

That was awesome. I had to tweet it before I even finished reading it. Bravo the analogy with the fairytale was perfect.

I cannot stand a liar and am constantly amazed at how the GOP and their followers can swallow lies and repeat them right to your face over and over. Even knowing that you know they are lying. That more than anything proves to me they have no values. They have no morals it is win at all costs. Then when they win they do not know what to do with it so they destroy it.

Where in the hell did this country go so wrong? And yes I mean them not us.

Chernynkaya
8 years ago

AdLib–Awesome analogy! And that song! As angry as the endless lies make me, there is something else he does–and the whole GOP does—that just makes me sputter. That Rovian tactic of accusing Obama of the exact thing they themselves do. Attacking Obama’s strengths as a weakness and accusing them of HIS weakness i.e., Obama is “out of touch.” Makes me livid. I don’t think it’ll work in the general, but there is something so disgusting with this tactic. Beyond cynical!

KQµårk 死神
8 years ago
Reply to  Chernynkaya

I loved the song too.

Fortunately you need credibility or such attacks and Romney’s is shot. Not even the base of the GOP really even believes Romney. Sure they love attacks on Obama but they are quite hollow.

The GOP is in the unenviable position of having to hold their collective noses and pick a pol they really don’t like. To them he’s more MA liberal like Kerry. Sure they will never outwardly say this but inside they don’t trust Romney as little as Dems do.

Nirek
8 years ago
Reply to  AdLib

Adlib, Mitt would rather lie even when the truth would serve him better. Is that pathological ???

KillgoreTrout
8 years ago
Reply to  Nirek

Nirek, i’m thinking that Rmoney has lied so much throughout his life, that he just does it automatically now. Surely he shows no moral regrets about it.

KQµårk 死神
8 years ago
Reply to  AdLib

My favorite is Romney’s attacks that Obama went to Harvard. FFS Romney not only went to Harvard he went longer than Obama to get two advanced degrees.

This is what Romney said today.

“We have a president, who I think is is a nice guy, but he spent too much time at Harvard, perhaps, or maybe just not enough time actually working in the real world.”

Nirek
8 years ago

KQ, I say Romney never did a real days work in his life. He got handed a fortune from daddy and has let his money make more money for him. A day of real work would kill him.

KQµårk 死神
8 years ago
Reply to  Nirek

Agree 100%.

KillgoreTrout
8 years ago

Ha! Rmoney talking about living in the “real world?” The guy was born rich. Rmoney has no capacity at all for relating to the middle class and poor. None, zero, zip, zilch!

Nirek
8 years ago
Reply to  KillgoreTrout

KT, you said it better than I did. Talk about “out of touch”, Mittens is way out of touch!

KillgoreTrout
8 years ago
Reply to  Nirek

Nirek, the majority of Rmoney’s gaffes while campaigning are when he tries to relate to the middle class and working poor. Those attempts are clumsy, half hearted and very transparent.
He seems to be obsessed with money and those like him who make millions, on the backs of the working poor and middle class.

bito
8 years ago

The other day he did something close to that. When he was giving his life story, “I was born a poor black boy in a log cabin…” He never mentioned that he went to Harvard, he said “then after I finished business school….” What like he went to a storefront school and took bookkeeping, shorthand and speed typing?

Another thing in his life story that has me shaking my head and that has to do with his father. He always says my Dad started out as a lather in the carpenters union, (and here’s the jump) them he bought a auto manufacturer company. From dry-waller to a car manufacturer? I have worked with many dry-wallers (we had a sub-local as part of our local) and I never new a one that went from rags to riches like that. There is something missing IMHO.

bito
8 years ago
Reply to  AdLib

AdLib, do you mean to tell me that the part of one day George just dropped his drywall tools and then bought a car company aren’t true? Is there a thing, just one thing that Mitt tells the truth about? He tries to make it sound like Daddy, in his heart, was just a blue collar. middle class fellow. Being a lobbyist for a large corporation is not my idea of a blue-collar worker.
My Gawd, it’s not he is lying on his profile on facebook trying to pick up chicks, he’s running for “the leader of the free world!” If he gets elected and is speaking with some foreign leader, trying to make a deal, is that foreign leader going to be thinking all the time “Is he lying to me?” or “I don’t know if he is telling me the truth.”

bito
8 years ago

Perfect, AdLib just perfect! KQ and I were both remarking this morning that it’s not just the occasional lie, it’s constant and we have never heard a so many lies from one person running for president. I have been around politics most of my life my father was an elected official when I was tyke and never has anyone told this amount of lies. Do you think he has a staff member whose only job is to keep track of his lies so the campaign can try to keep it straight? Or does it even matter to them?

When I was a child I would get a wooden spoon on my bottom for calling someone a liar, I think my mother would forgive me this time and use it herself!

Nirek
8 years ago
Reply to  bito

Bito, why don’t reporters call him on the lies? They let him babble , but never call him on his lies , falsehoods, and misrepresentations.

KQµårk 死神
8 years ago
Reply to  AdLib

I think it’s almost impossible to turn favorable numbers like Willard’s around. Even past GOP loser like McCain and Dole have favorable ratings in the positive range over 50%. Remember favorable is just how ‘likable’ a candidate is, it’s not even like a performance rating which makes it more damning for Romney. We sometimes forget that millions of people don’t vote party, ideology or even on the issues they vote for the candidate they like most. We all know the president’s ceiling likability number is in the high 60’s due to polls in his early presidency and I don’t think Romney will get close to 50 again, especially with women.

bito
8 years ago
Reply to  AdLib

Combine the women’s vote with the Hispanic vote, the way they are polling right now, he’s got a couple of holes to fill. For a completely un-scientific observation, one of the Tea Party people said at their gatherings, close to 25% of them won’t vote for Mitt, that makes two TP groups that are saying that.

Nirek
8 years ago
Reply to  bito

The GOP has alienated women, poor, gays, and intelligent people.

bito
8 years ago
Reply to  bito

From Cher via twitter:

Chernynkaya ‏

@PlanetPOV EVERY Romney Lie In One Place! UPDATED!! http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/03/14/1074486/-EVERY-Romney-Lie-In-One-Place-UPDATED-

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/03/14/1074486/-EVERY-Romney-Lie-In-One-Place-UPDATED-

Just in case you have any doubts on AdLibs post. I’m not sure if the author or anyone can keep track of EVERY lie.

SueInCa
8 years ago
Reply to  bito

http://thinkprogress.org/romney-facts/?mobile=nc

These are the 99 facts I was tweeting between Lies and facts you can bombard twitter day after day.

For some reason Sean Hannity followed me, I am thinking about blocking that sumbitch

Chernynkaya
8 years ago
Reply to  bito

Bito, thanks to you and other Planeteers, that Tweet got 100’s of ReTweets. I wanted it to go viral until the MSM finally pays attention.

SueInCa
8 years ago
Reply to  Chernynkaya

Cher I also tweeted the individual one after you gave it to me. I actually got kicked off for a few hours because I had reached a limit?

bito
8 years ago
Reply to  SueInCa

Sue, I don’t know what that “reached a limit” thing is all about, I get it one in a while. just try refreshing the page or log off and back on again.

SueInCa
8 years ago
Reply to  bito

Bito well I had posted at least 99 facts about Romney and I always rt yours and others plus i regularly RT my post for Sierra Lamar the young girl who is missing from Morgen Hill near San Jose. You never know just like people did for Trayvon it got noticed. Twitter is way better for that than FB

choicelady
8 years ago

Absolutely wonderful! I had just remarked last night that Mitt moves all of a piece. He doesn’t turn his head – he turns his whole body. It’s very odd to watch, especially with the sound off. He’s the most rigid person maybe ever. McCain was much the same but for injuries sustained as a POW. One could admire him for that; he’d gone through hell and come back again.

Mitt’s are injuries that come from being – what? Well, you’ve explained it. He’s a block of wood. This is a man whose entire being as a liar has turned him into a tree stump. He cannot relax and “be himself” because he already IS. How can you be a person when you’re rootbound from trying to keep track of the lies? His body language gives the game away – he’s holding himself in check with every fiber of his existence so he can keep track of what he’s saying where.

When I saw your photo of him with the nose, it did not, at first, strike me odd. And how odd is THAT? You’ve nailed the man’s entire existence as a wooden prevaricator who has not a scrap of human feeling. Not for him becoming a real boy. Too late for that. What lies ahead for him will be a life afraid of termites, root rot, forest fires, and woodpeckers. Mitt the Block of Wood. Wanting to be president and no clue how to be honorable enough to achieve it.

Romnocchio indeed. GREAT story, AdLib. Thanks for letting us understand what we are seeing!

funksands
8 years ago

Ad, fabulous piece of work! I would argue that Romney is the perfectly engineered candidate for the new GOP. The dogma for the GOP has narrowed so significantly only a contortionist like Romney can slip
through the opening to the nomination. He is as critical for the next phase of the GOP as the President is for the next phase of the Democratic Party. He is comfortable lying. He is comfortable taking multiple positions on the same issue. He is comfortable being whatever he has to be to get the job done. The powers that be in the party recognize and appreciate this sociopathic slipperiness and value it. In a party that has moved 100% to tactical strategy and away from functional policy, Romney is the template for the new, better, colder, Republican. Consider him the beta test for the upcoming product line.

KQµårk 死神
8 years ago
Reply to  funksands

You are indeed correct. I think Romney is the only candidate for the GOP now. The main principles of the GOP is hypocrisy and nihilism. Like you said all that matters for them is winning and they have no policy they won’t flip flop. The individual mandate is the primary example. The fact is every time the GOP gets in office they expand government both in role and in real terms. They cannot call themselves fiscal conservatives with their ridiculous no tax orthodoxy. They simple use rationalizations to take any position they need to at the time.

Kalima
Admin
8 years ago

Thanks AdLib, this was wonderful and really added to my otherwise boring morning’s pleasure. By the time of the GE, Mitt will of course be housebound, or he might need to hire the length of a whole freight train of containers to get out of one of his mansions. Maybe the nice corporation “people” can form an arm link chain to bounce him along to where he needs to lie next. Or some sympathetic loggers can float him downstream on his back to his next liefest.

Great song lyrics. 😀

KillgoreTrout
8 years ago

Kudos AdLib. Very funny stuff. I think Rmoney needs that long slender nose. It makes it that much easier to stick it in all those corporate assholes!

KQµårk 死神
8 years ago

Bravo! One of Your Best

bravo

SueInCa
8 years ago

KQ I love ir

Kalima
Admin
8 years ago

Ok, I’ll admit it, I’m absolutely green with envy about your moving Orson Welles thingy here. In the 5 years I have been blogging, the only things moving for me are actual video clips, and then not all the time. No need to try to explain it to me, I won’t understand a word you write. I shall proudly live out the rest of my blogging days being known as a technofart. 😀

KQµårk 死神
8 years ago
Reply to  Kalima

Really I just searched for clapping and animated gif.

This is another classic out there.

clap