Secretary Clinton:  Good afternoon Mr. Gaddafi.  On behalf of the U.S. State Department, under the direction of the President, I’d like to discuss  how we may bring about a peaceful solution to this current crisis.


Muammar Gadaffi: ………. Hello?


Secretary Clinton: Yes,Mr. Gaddafi.  This is U.S.  Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. I was hoping we could discuss your current….. situation.


Muammar Gadaffi: …….. I’ve already had a bath.


Secretary Clinton: No, Mr. Gadaffi, this is Hill-.. THIS IS HILLARY CLINTON. CAN. I. TALK. TO. YOU.


Muammar Gaddafi: ……. I have told all I know.  I watched that movie 5 times  and I still do not understand. Does she want to dance? Is she just angry that she cannot find the time  to pleasure herself?

Secretary Clinton: No, no Mr. Gaddafi.  I want to discuss the current unrest in your country.


Muammar Gaddafi:  But you saw the movie, right? I went just last night with many of my fellow Libyans. They love me you know.


Secretary Clinton: No, Mr. Gaddafi, I did not see it. But it’s your people I am actually calling about?


Muammar Gaddafi: Would you like to buy some of my people? They are not cheap but, considering you have frozen a large chunk of my assets, I’m willing to make a deal.

Secretary Clinton: What?! No! Sir, I am asking you to stop killing your own people.


Muammar Gaddafi:  I am not killing my own people! I am only killing the people who disagree with me.


Secretary Clinton: Sir,  the American government is seriously considering sending in our military.


Muammar Gaddafi: No, no. That is not necessary. I need no help killing my own people.


Secretary Clinton: Sir…. You just said you were not killing your own people and now you say you are. What about the people who seriously question your ability to lead a Scout Troop much less a country?

Muammar Gaddafi:  What is this movie, “The Fighter”? It makes no sense to me. Why does Batman not simply kill Marky Mark for defying his older brother’s will?

Secretary Clinton: O.K., sir. I will try one more time to get a serious answer form you. You are obviously engaged in brutal tactics to quell a rebellion in your country.  Will you cease your campaign against your own people or will the President have to strongly consider stopping you?

Muammar Gaddafi: …………………………


Secretary Clinton: Mr. Gaddafi? Hello? Is anyone there.


Berzyl: Mrs. Clinton. This is Lord Gaddafi’s assistant Berzyl. I apologize but it is time for the master’s midday ramble. He enjoys strolling his grounds incoherently and shooting random people. I hope we can reschedule this talk for a later time.

Secretary Clinton: His what?! A midday….ramble? This is unacceptable. Either get him back on the phone or YOU ARE  ALL SERIOUSLY FUC-… HELLO?!? ….. Mr. Berzyl? Are you there?….. GODDAMN THAT CRAZY SON OF A BITCH!


I hope you have enjoyed this edition of  “Transcript Theater” and that you realize I view Muammar as a heartless monster and this is how I deal with that.

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KQµårk 死神maveetjkkFL2ndClassCitizenPunditKhirad Recent comment authors
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KQµårk 死神

I thoroughly enjoyed this mockversation. 😎


New reality show?


It’s hard to take anyone seriously who can’t even be bothered to pin his ribbons onto his uniform but had a patch made instead.



Actually, originally, “The Apprentice” was supposed to have Gaddafi instead of THE DONALD(c)(R)(TM).

However, they were unable to resolve certain issues during contract negotiations.

It turns out that the State Department has no jurisdiction over issuing licenses for hunting humans.

“We didn’t even *know* the Department of the Interior *existed*,” executive producer Al Berman insists. “And Blackwater’s licensing division wasn’t taking calls from the networks at that time.”


Hmm, DJ then?


Now That was a masterpiece!!


I must admit it’s a little addictive.


How to get this thing to go viral? Great job!!!