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ADONAI On February - 28 - 2011

Secretary Clinton:  Good afternoon Mr. Gaddafi.  On behalf of the U.S. State Department, under the direction of the President, I’d like to discuss  how we may bring about a peaceful solution to this current crisis.


Muammar Gadaffi: ………. Hello?


Secretary Clinton: Yes,Mr. Gaddafi.  This is U.S.  Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. I was hoping we could discuss your current….. situation.


Muammar Gadaffi: …….. I’ve already had a bath.


Secretary Clinton: No, Mr. Gadaffi, this is Hill-.. THIS IS HILLARY CLINTON. CAN. I. TALK. TO. YOU.


Muammar Gaddafi: ……. I have told all I know.  I watched that movie 5 times  and I still do not understand. Does she want to dance? Is she just angry that she cannot find the time  to pleasure herself?

Secretary Clinton: No, no Mr. Gaddafi.  I want to discuss the current unrest in your country.


Muammar Gaddafi:  But you saw the movie, right? I went just last night with many of my fellow Libyans. They love me you know.


Secretary Clinton: No, Mr. Gaddafi, I did not see it. But it’s your people I am actually calling about?


Muammar Gaddafi: Would you like to buy some of my people? They are not cheap but, considering you have frozen a large chunk of my assets, I’m willing to make a deal.

Secretary Clinton: What?! No! Sir, I am asking you to stop killing your own people.


Muammar Gaddafi:  I am not killing my own people! I am only killing the people who disagree with me.


Secretary Clinton: Sir,  the American government is seriously considering sending in our military.


Muammar Gaddafi: No, no. That is not necessary. I need no help killing my own people.


Secretary Clinton: Sir…. You just said you were not killing your own people and now you say you are. What about the people who seriously question your ability to lead a Scout Troop much less a country?

Muammar Gaddafi:  What is this movie, “The Fighter”? It makes no sense to me. Why does Batman not simply kill Marky Mark for defying his older brother’s will?

Secretary Clinton: O.K., sir. I will try one more time to get a serious answer form you. You are obviously engaged in brutal tactics to quell a rebellion in your country.  Will you cease your campaign against your own people or will the President have to strongly consider stopping you?

Muammar Gaddafi: …………………………


Secretary Clinton: Mr. Gaddafi? Hello? Is anyone there.


Berzyl: Mrs. Clinton. This is Lord Gaddafi’s assistant Berzyl. I apologize but it is time for the master’s midday ramble. He enjoys strolling his grounds incoherently and shooting random people. I hope we can reschedule this talk for a later time.

Secretary Clinton: His what?! A midday….ramble? This is unacceptable. Either get him back on the phone or YOU ARE  ALL SERIOUSLY FUC-… HELLO?!? ….. Mr. Berzyl? Are you there?….. GODDAMN THAT CRAZY SON OF A BITCH!


I hope you have enjoyed this edition of  “Transcript Theater” and that you realize I view Muammar as a heartless monster and this is how I deal with that.

Written by ADONAI

For, behold, the LORD will come with fire, and with his chariots like a whirlwind, to render his anger with fury, and his rebuke with flames of fire. For by fire and by his sword will the LORD plead with all flesh: and the slain of the LORD shall be many.

7 Responses so far.

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  1. KQuark says:

    I thoroughly enjoyed this mockversation. 😎

  2. Khirad says:

    New reality show?


    It’s hard to take anyone seriously who can’t even be bothered to pin his ribbons onto his uniform but had a patch made instead.


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