I am writing to you today, Governor, to express my concern about the troubling happenings in your state capitol. I must first say that you have my sympathy. It must be terrifying to be faced by a rowdy mob of well-educated people. That’s a fate that I would not wish on my worst enemy.
Secondly, I must say that I wholeheartedly agree with your phallic stance on this issue. Why should state workers haverights? This isn’t a democracy, it’s a republic. However, I’ve noticed that you are currently finding it difficult to decide upon your next course of action. This is why I am writing to you: To sound you out on my proposal about how to resolve this situation. Fire everybody.
Now, I know this sounds drastic, but desperate men call for desperate measures. Firing all state workers would not have any significant negative effect. After all, you could simply call in theto fill all those posts. It’s not like they have other, very important, things to do.
However, I feel that this will not be necessary. This is becausewill immediately step in to fill the void left after you’ve sacked everybody. After all, we all know that policing, fire-fighting and education are all lucrative short-term ventures.
The best part of my proposal is that it will immediately plug your state deficit. It will also ensure that yourwill not suffer any future budgetary problems, as there won’t be a state government. In fact, you won’t even have a job. But don’t fret, soon to be ex-Governor, my proposal is completely in keeping with our shared principal of .
Forgive me for being blunt, but you are entirely unnecessary.
All the best.
- What Wisconsin’s governor is really threatening (salon.com)
- Wisconsin Governor Launches Attack on Public Sector Employees and Unions; Threatens to Deploys National Guard to Quell Labor Protests (democracynow.org)