Hey Jesus, Are You Packing Heat?

Patsy, this post just keeps on giving!
To get a little serious after we’ve had so much fun with this, I really do think that many Christianists on the Reich are embarrassed by the traditional Jesus.

This Jesus is too soft!

This Jesus looks more masculine, but what

Author

Whoa
Thats a whole Lotta Jesus!!
I have to think about those for a bit.

Admin

kesmarn

Patsy, I couldn’t let another day go by without saying that I love, love, love this article!

It’s a work day, so I have to run, but kudos to you for your incisive wit!

Author

Mighty nice of you Kes,
I must admit I had a strange bit of fun looking up guns
Wow there is Sooooo much on the internet, and I only scraped the surface.
Hope your work day is a good one!

Member

choicelady

Sigh. You know, all these RW Jesus-hailing’, gun-lubbin’ nut cases just make my life sooooo much harder. I’m out here trying to wade through the teachings and history and theology and make sense out of it all to promote a world of kindness, inclusion, justice, equity – and these folks trump everthing I do with that freaking ceramic, painted, flower-embellished semi automatic.

No wonder when someone smiles an oily smile and says, “I’m a CHRIS-tyun” I run screaming for cover.

I’d give up, but DAMN, I won’t give them the satisfaction!

I just have one observation. Jesus wore robes. Where would he PUT the damned gun? No pockets. Same as God and the credit card. Where? Just asking.

Author

They make a myriad of accessories.
I am sure they could outfit Jesus in fine style.
No matter what his attire
Heavy Robes or say
Minimum attire for those on the cross days.

Member

Watch the whole thing, very topical. Bill Hicks on fundie Christians:

Member

Damn, You tube is so inconsistent– can’t hear it.

Member

I know Cher, I did my best – have to crank it up. It’s the uploader not doing the right settings.

Member

It happens on about one quarter of my You Tube vids. 🙁

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nottoolate

I am so damn relieved to hear this! Thought I was going intermittently deaf.

Member

😆 BTW, did you see me message to you this morning?

Author

Khirad
I am so glad you posted this
it is so sad
we do not have this guy with us today
He was fantastic!
This is a bit of the review of a documentary on him
We need a feature film on him
Who could play him?
from
http://www.seattlepi.com/movies/417183_film32810688.html

Monday, March 22, 2010
Last updated 5:09 p.m. PT

SXSW Review: American: The Bill Hicks Story
By C. ROBERT CARGILL
FILM.COM

I’m something of a Bill Hicks fan. Growing up as a slacker in Central Texas it was hard not to have heard of him, or at least heard quotes by him; but working in an underground video store in the late ’90s, I was privy to a section of locally made videocassettes of things the rest of the world has only been able to see on bootleg, if at all, until very recently. While Hicks became a legendary comedian across the pond in England, to this day he remains an underground American hero — a stand-up comedian whose presence can be felt in stand-up comedy today, yet few in the mainstream know his name. An occasionally obnoxious, singularly brilliant orator, he battled substance abuse, conventional wisdom, and late ’80s/early ’90s American societal norms. And while we lost him to cancer just as his career was taking off in his early ’30s, he used his last few years to craft his legacy — a series of rants and stand-up routines that are just as relevant today as they were when he wrote them.

Member

I’ve seen One Night Stand, Relentless, “It’s Just a Ride” and Revelations on that compilation vid.

considering the stories he gives in his bits and in interviews, a feature film would be great?

A shame, John Ritter might’ve pulled off the look, but not the crassness.

It’s funny, too, because watching him, he clearly resembles an actor or two I can’t put my finger on, who would be perfect.

I’m amazed more don’t know who he is.

He might sound familiar though even if you don’t know of him. He was underground, but he influenced so many of today’s comedians. He was a Lenny Bruce of the Bush 1 years.

I fear had he survived cancer, he might not have made it through Bush 2 though! It would have been cathartic though!!!

Author

John Ritter
Another sad story
An Actor to play Hicks
maybe an unknown not yet discovered
I should be a casting agent.

Member

Mightywoof

I kept seeing flashes of Chevy Chase in his facial expressions! Brilliant man and I’ve never seen or heard of him before – and now I never will 🙁

Member

nellie

He’s brilliant — and terribly cute. I’ve never seen him before. Thanks, Khirad.

Admin

AdLib

God enjoyed this article and asked me to pass along this comment:

My son has never thrown a brick though he did accidentally toss some loaves of bread too hard that were a bit hard.

As for guns, he did go through a squirt gun phase when he was a child, I remember walking into the Living Room and seeing wine stains squirted all over the carpet and La-Z-Boy.

We do have a running joke about him returning to Earth heavily armed as the Prince With a Piece, “Love thy fellow man or I’ll blow your head off!”

He’s a card!

Member

Hey God,

Thanks for popping in on the fly. Nice to hear from you mid-week. 😉

Author

http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k266/want2know/dancart43011.jpg

Ha! Like Father Like Son 🙂

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bito

It may not be Jesus, just some of his “true believers.” Real Merikans.

Member

That was actually more deep than funny…

Author

What is it with ladies and guns ?

Member

Member

“But he LOVES you…”

Member

The master of common sense.

Member

Yes, the man was a genius. And the irony is that after the “strike me dead” piece, it wasn’t long after that he actually was.

Author

My brothers had his first
albums

Member

KQµårk 死神

I actually live in a town that still has a law on the books that states all homeowners must own a gun. So these Constitution loving yahoos make you buy a gun but then they argue it’s unconstitutional to make people by healthcare insurance. Talk about fucked up priorities.

Member

OMG, I knew about that gun law, but I’d forgotten about it with this whole mandate debate!!!

Member

nevermind… 😳

Member

Alright, seriously, I need to quit – it’s just too much fun. There’s too many fantastic pictures on this theme, but my favorite – from the Onion – of Rio’s Jesus packing AK’s I can’t find. 🙁

Author

Oh Khirad
They are so funny- sick but so funny!
Cher can I convert them into images?

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Pepe Lepew

That’s pretty funny.

Member

Vituperation

Jesus would be like my drill instructor. He would insist on fire discipline, a good sight picture and interlocking fields of fire. He would never tolerate a dirty weapon. He would expect every one of his Marines to be an expert marksman and fear the wrath of God should any of them fail to live up to the commitment of upholding the constitution of the United States and protecting her from all enemies foreign and domestic.

Jesus might be able to turn the clusterphuck of raggedy assed shitbirds called tea baggers into respectable citizens in the period of 13 weeks normally used to make a recruit into a Marine. However, there might be some problems. Thank God for hell. That’s where Jesus will send the nonhackers. And by the looks of it – we’ve got a shitload of nonhackers in this goddamn tea party.

BTW – Jesus would like a Colt M16A1 His sidearm – obviously a Colt model 1911 45ACP. Jesus is old school.

Author

He would never tolerate a dirty weapon

Perfect
I live near a Marine base
I see the guys all the time
They are often at the WalMart
having car washes to raise money
Even if my car is clean I drive by and had them some $$$
I agree, I think Jesus would be old school

Member

I found a winner. This is the gun!

Member

Patsy,

Where did you find your Jesus image?

Member

Google Buddy Jesus. It’s a small doll.

Author

Google images
and I want a statue like this to put this in my front yard!

Member

http://www.jayandsilentbob.com/budchrisdass1.html

Buy one here–

Author

I have been delivered !

Member

Me too!

Member

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_BEZaPN8gUY

http://pickabone.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/halo-holy-combat.jpg?w=300&h=254

Member

That last one– just, WOW.

Member

You can nix the first redundant one. I meant this:

Member

Hey, did I mess one up and accidentally delete?

Member

Oh crap! Please repost the Jesus gun!!!

Admin

AdLib

Fixed!

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nellie

Holy moly, Khirad! 😆

Member

Thanks, Nellie (Adlib!!- I meant you)–I was on the phone and can’t multitask!

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nellie

Thank AdLib — he’s the magician!

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javaz

Wow, is the Jesus gun for real?

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Blues Tiger

Hey javaz!! It looks more ceramic than real…

Admin

Kalima

Absolutely spot on Patsy. Your last sentence was my exact sentiment on Sue’s post yesterday and as a Christian from birth, I denounce these people who feel no shame in taking his name in vain. They are not Christians, the door to heaven will not be opened to them and if there is a judgment day, I hope they’ve saved for the best lawyers money can buy. The teaching of Jesus were simple, but it takes a person with a heart, conscience and soul to live up to his words. They don’t pass the test, they failed his call to love your neighbour as yourself.

Member