TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS – AT THE PLANET
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the post
Not a blogger was stirring, not even the host.
The comments were hung by the topics with care,
In hopes that sane arguments soon would be there.
The trollies were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Sarah P. danced in their heads.
And Obama in his White House, and Dems in DC,
Had just settled health care for you and for me.
When out on the web there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to my Windows I flew like a flash,
Tore open the browser and cleared out my cache.
The clip was the rest of a new Fox News show
Gave the luster of fairness to Satan below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a hysterical Beck, and his tiny brain fear.
With a little old reflux, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment I surely must click.
More rapid than eagles new pages they came,
And I whistled, and shouted, and called out their names;
“Now, KeithO! Now Maddow! Now,Campbell and Shuster!
On Colbert! On Cooper! On Stewart and Blitzer!
To the top of the rich! To the top of the Wall!
Now slash away! Slash away! Slash away all!”
As dry wits that before the wild teabaggers fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, skewer so wry.
So up to the House-top the Baggers they flew,
With signs full of hate, and heads up their ass too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the news
The danger and horror of those evil Jews.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the channel Saint Huckabee came with a bound.
He was dressed all in Fox, from his head to his foot,
And his image so tarnished with pardons was moot;
A bundle of ploys Rush had flung like a hack,
And he looked like a panderer teabagging his sack.
His eyes — how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His words stunk like dead skunks that someone should bury!
His trolls’ little mouths looked equipped to serve Pez,
And the shade of his soul was as white as the Pres.;
The stub of a pill he held tight in his teeth,
And the haze it encircled his brain like a wreath;
Sarah ran a broad farce, an addiction to telly,
That shook, when she pissed on the press like R. Kelly.
She made horny the chumps, a right folly it was,
And I laughed when I saw her, and all of her flaws;
A wink of her eye and a twist of her head,
Soon gave me to know, Cons gulp all they are fed.
She spoke not a word, but went straight to her book,
And charged all the suckers for her smile or a look .
And laying his future aside of his prose,
And giving a nod, up the mountain “O” rose;
He sprang to his job, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like a drone fired missile.
But I heard him exclaim, as he worked for what’s right,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight.”