We Americans are being very wasteful with our natural resources of emotional energy. This is causing a slew of problems affecting our environment including adding a great deal of additional CO2 into the atmosphere, pollution of political discourse and a shortage of positive emotional energy.
I think the time has come for us to take action. For those who ask, “What can I do to conserve emotional energy and reduce Global Flaming?”, I have put together the following list of things you can do in your daily life and your community that can make a difference and reduce our dependency on senseless and contrived emotional fuel:
What You Can Do to Reduce Global Flaming
1. Substitute organic music of your choice for the artificial news in the MSM (listen to Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of the Moon” when you watch Fox News or CNN, you’ll find it syncs up perfectly, especially on the songs “Money” and “Brain Damage”).
2. Plant a Birther.
3. Instead of arguing obviously fictional charges made against Health Care Reform, Financial Reform, etc., carry a large mallet around and conk Republicans on the head until they announce they’re running for office in South Carolina or Minnesota.
4. Create rolls of toilet paper out of The New York Post.
5. Unscrew the thought light bulbs from Republicans and replace them with squashes.
6. Recycle old condemnations of racists from the 50’s and 60’s.
7. Use the additive “Where’s My Asshat?” as a middle name for wack Republican talking heads and politicians to get better mileage (i.e., Michele “Where’s My Asshat” Bachmann, Glenn “Where’s My Asshat” Beck).
8. Instead of driving reason home with Republicans, walk or bicycle it (for them, the slower the better).
9. Don’t leave the blather running when brushing off brainwashed right wing tools, just shut them off by twisting their very tiny spigot.
10. Reduce toxic emissions, seal Rush Limbaugh’s mouth with a catalytic converter.
Working together, we can reduce and hopefully reverse the negative impact on us and our nation that this crisis of Global Flaming has been wreaking. We can protect the environment of productive political conversation and genuine desire for social progress by conserving our emotional energy.
Turn off that right wing talking head that keeps running off at the mouth with insanity, recycle your disgust or outrage and use them wisely to contact your representatives and progressive organizations, save energy by not bothering to debate that Republican in your family into thinking for themself (just give them a copy of “Idiocy for Dummies” for Christmas).