Corporations Are People Too!
or
How to Explain The Supreme Court’s Derangement
to Your Child
by Dr. Suits
On a winter’s day in two thousand ten
A decision was made by five crazy men
Their words were all heard by the little boy, Trent
Who then asked his mother what all of this meant.
“Corporations are people? That seems very odd.
I haven’t met one in my class or schoolyard.”
“Do they have arms and legs? Do they like to kick balls?
Do they lick ice cream cones? Do they yell in the halls?”
His mother replied with a shake of her head,
“No they don’t but they’re people, the Justices said.”
“Do they like to climb trees? Do they walk? Do they run?
Do they like to breathe air? Do they sing just for fun?”
His mother replied with a face that was red,
“No they don’t but they’re people, the Justices said.”
“Do they vote in elections? Or drive a fast car?
Do they give birth to babies? Or wish on a star?”
His mother looked weary and ready for bed,
“No they don’t but they’re people, the Justices said.”
“Do they live? Do they die? Or even have souls?
Do they pour lots of milk in their cereal bowls?”
His mother’s heart fell as if weighted by lead,
“No they don’t but they’re people, the Justices said.”
The little boy Trent had had quite enough,
He started to frown, he started to huff,
“What kind of people don’t breathe or have souls?
Don’t live and don’t die or have cereal bowls?”
“Those five men are dumber than all in my class,
My decision for them? They can all kiss my ass!”
Now that we’ve got the whole package, WTS and I have discussed sending it to publications. We tossed around a few ideas of places to go:
Slate, The New Yorker, The New Republic, Vanity Fair, Rolling Stone and The Nation.
Any other suggestions?
Also, I’m not a seasoned hand at submitting articles to publications so any assistance or on how to proceed or referrals would be appreciated. Otherwise, I figure we can submit it as a Letter to the Editor and if they like it enough, they could always feature it as an Editorial.
Thanks to all for your support and once again, cheers to WTS for such wonderful work!
I would like to forward this as a letter to the editor of my local papers and to several CT progressive blogs.
Just have to figure out how to do it and find the time…just got a new ‘big’ client, will be busy for the next few weeks.
I wonder if all the places that it has been sent will generate anything? I think I am up to about 10 now. I just know it will be on Rachel’s tonight! 😕
Adlib, The Atlantic is a good one too. Each magazine will have its own submission guidelines which you should follow. Some of them might have rules against simultaneous submissions. There might also be issues with prior publication (eg., in a newspaper).
AdLib, you’ll want to look for the publication’s editorial guidelines. They’re usually on the masthead page or somewhere on the website. Find out what they require for a submission. Write a query letter and let them know you have a short piece with art. A note of caution — some publications are very finicky about publishing material that has appeared elsewhere, so you might want to find out what kind of policy they have in that regard.
New York Magazine.
The New Yorker usually requires a body of work, from what I understand.
Wow, impressive artwork, to say the least!! I better change my Facebook Link!!
I’ve been here about a month now and I’m still loving it more everyday.
Isn’t that cool, Hope? 😎 It’s perfect. I have been sending out a few links and teases to the writing and then saying “you have to see the art work!” Putting two pieces of bait on the hook. 😉
Hope, E-cat, Nellie, Kesmarn BDM and Javaz (and anyone else I may have omitted erroneously), thank you all for the kind comments and praise. It means a lot to me!
Fantastic! Hilarious! And all those cool Japanese superlatives too!
Just when you think something is absolutely perfect and could not be improved upon……………..
Congrats, WTS! And you “got ‘er done” so quickly, too.
Stunning, as always, wts. And perfect for the story.
WTS – Wonderful work!
Awesome art/graphic, wts!
Nailed it perfectly!
Absolute perfection, wts.
Subarashii !
Thanks, Q. The maraschino cherry is for you!
HA!!
Qlever…
Quest, What year is that Subarasii? Is that the mid SUV model? 😕
Supo-tsuka 2010.
Oh, now that really clears things up for me! Did you just call me something nasty? 🙂
Would you like me to? 🙂
Got me thinking about that one? 😉
It actually means sports car.
Subarashii means fantastic, splendid, wonderful!
WTS, your work is the icing on the cake! Wow! That is great! ❗
hey, thanks, bito! Much appreciated!
WTS, you captured AdLibs writing to perfection. You are good
I think we were both channeling the good Dr.
🙂 I look, read, and all I can do is 🙂
I hope the grownups get it, I know my grand kids would. Now that’s very scary…
Oh, it’s way past my sleepy time and I’ll no doubt be late for work, but this is beyond fantastic…as much as I liked the other reference (sneeches or whatever), this is wonderful! I’m sure AdLib, ahem Dr. Suits, and others, will be eternally impressed..
applause, applause, applause!!
GO BUCKS!
Thanks, boomer. Now get to bed! 😉
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!
What about WTS’ new Dr. Seuss illustration for this post? Does it rock or what?!!!
Great work WTS!!!
Yoo hoo dude…give me a minute to applaud? Thank you very much dear, it’s his tomorrow afternoon for goodness sake and I’m beyond past my ZZZZ time. One would think this is the weekend for those of you not buried under the cornstalks (WTS no excuse, you must suffer the pain of a Child-of-the-Giant Buckeye) in the middle of central Ohio. Jeeze!!
Oh dog AdLib, I have to work in less than —– never mind —— over and out! Cheers WTS, you accepted the challenge, pleased our dear leader AdLib, and have hand over fist with HRPuffenStuffers!!!!!
boomer 🙂
It’s WTS Day as far as I’m concerned!
Man, what a talented guy!!!
Aw, shucks, folks I’m speechless!
Yeah, and wait until everyone else sees this — you will be asleep — ha, ha!
That is the nature of things, and why there is often a delay in replying when I put my own articles up. But, hey, I’m half a world away!
It’s really wonderful! Great work wts, we knew you would knock our socks off!
Take a bow, both of you.
Bravo!!
Yoroshiku!
Doitashimashite!
Well…that’s all the Japanese I know! Darn!
How about Ohayo gozaimasu or Domo arigato?
The thing I would say to you now is Mada nette inai no?
Come on everybody, we have 8 Diggs on DIGG, please press on the second from the left share button under AdLib’s post and sign up with Digg to Digg it. Thanks!
Don’t forget that once you have an account there you can Digg or even submit any article that you think should be read by others to Digg.
Let’s get Digging!!!
I don’t get how anti-lobbying laws are any different than anti-racketeering laws. Same concept. Yet, one is on the books and the (truly surreal) supreme court does not see it. Why?
Because as Dr. Suits wrote: “a decision was made by 5 crazy men.”
Thank you everyone for all your fantastic support on this!
A head’s up, WTS is working on an original graphic that will be replacing the current graphic. So if you hear back from anyone you’ve contacted, please let them know we have a new original graphic for the article and send them a link to return here to see and use it instead.
Thanks!!!
I’ve posted a couple comments over yonder with links to the Daily Kos version….others should do it too. Got some great comments back from fans – and one obnoxious troll.
Fantastic! Thank you escrib!