In a defiant response to the recent hammering he’s taken in the press for his actions and words, Donald Trump has filed a lawsuit in federal court and requested a restraining order on all members of the media and all American citizens from repeating or remembering anything he’s ever said.
“Look, what I say is my own intellectual property, it belongs to me and if I don’t give permission for people to use it, that’s theft, plain and simple,” Trump declared after giving reporters limited permission to repeat his words in print. “Are we living in a communist country? Where we can’t own what’s ours and people can just steal it from us whenever they want? I don’t think so!”
Trump stated that whatever he’s said in the past is copyrighted by and the property of The Trump Organization and from now on, he will pursue monetary damages against anyone who infringes on that copyright. He explained that it not only covers those who repeat his words but those who keep “his property” in their minds.
“I saw Crooked Hillary yesterday repeating things I’ve said as a way to attack me. If she thinks she can take my words like that, which are my property, and use them against me, she’s in for a big surprise, believe me,” Trump assured.
Trump’s lawsuit not only seeks damages and remedies against those who speak or remember his words but also goes after those who remember or discuss his past actions.
“When I make any decision to do anything, I’m making something, right? That’s manufacturing and in America, when you make something, you own it,” Trump affirmed. “If I made the most magnificent table, and believe me, if I made a table it would be magnificent, can a reporter or some person off the street just say they own it now and use it for themselves? Of course not!”
Despite his filing what he rightfully declares as the “yuugest lawsuit in the history of the world”, suing around 320 million Americans, Trump insisted that he wasn’t doing it to benefit himself.
“Look, I’m worth billions, possibly trillions or googles, I don’t need to sue all Americans for the money I’ll get out of them, I don’t need it. I’m suing all Americans to stand up for all Americans against this corrupt system that’s robbing all Americans of their own hard earned money,” Trump said while filing another suit against his maid for not giving him a “happy ending” after she mopped his floors.
“Now I know the PC Police out there will get all crazy and whine, ‘You want to limit the 1st Amendment and our right to Free Speech.” First of all, I love the 1st Amendment, it’s number one in my book when it comes to The Bill of Rights. Second, I think activist judges have pushed their PC mentalities on it for far too long and the 1st Amendment is now unconstitutional,” lectured Trump.
“The Democrats are always saying they’re gonna give you free things, like free college, free health care and free speech. Can I just say, nothing’s free! We can’t afford free stuff anymore, we’re in trillions of debt we can’t pay off! So in President Trump’s America, say bye-bye to free stuff and that includes speech. You want more jobs, charge people for speech. That’s a whole new industry we can create that’ll bring tons of high paying jobs, trust me! Let’s make America great again and maybe we can start to do that by basing our elections on something truly American, a mafia style threat that says, ‘You didn’t see anything, you didn’t hear anything! Vote Trump!'”