What If This Was For Real?
What If This Was For Real?




John Boehner, recognizing that he is trapped by the most radical elements of his own party; condemned to a place in history as the Speaker of the House of  the most unproductive House of Representatives in U.S. history; and realizing that the nation’s business must be done, decides to embrace the principle that his oath of office as Speaker of the House is to the nation and not the GOP.

Using his power to control the order of business on the floor, he brings a series of bills to the floor for up or down votes that require members to stand up for their principles and go on the record. The first of these is the immigration bill passed by the Senate. He permits a robust debate and amendments to that bill before its passage requiring that it be sent to a House-Senate reconciliation conference committee to work out differences between the Senate Bill and what is being hailed as The Speakers Bill.

He refuses to endorse tactics that threaten the credit of the United States and he asks his own party to step away from any such effort in order to win a tactical victory over Obamacare. Instead, he places the raising of the debt ceiling into the regular order as was the standing practice before the GOP took the House in 2010 without requiring any action from Obama saying that he will not see the U.S. credit rating lowered again on his watch. Shortly after the raising of the ceiling, the Obama administration reopens negotiations with the Speaker regarding the fine-tuning of the Affordable Care Act.

He brings the American Jobs Act to the floor. It is amended and when passed goes to a conference committee. The Speaker is widely regarded as a principal co-sponsor of the bill which he proudly proclaims was produced to fulfill his promise to make jobs a priority.

All three efforts pass with overwhelming Democratic support and some GOP support. What passes for the GOP’s moderate and pragmatic wing, tired of being held hostage by the Tea Party, join him.

The House Tea Party members rise in revolt and ask that Boehner be removed knowing that a Speaker may be removed at the will of the House, and a Speaker pro tempore appointed in a resolution that requires the support of the majority the members.

BUT, the Democrats with the blessing of the Democratic leadership and a handful of the GOP do not endorse this, and he remains the Speaker- but now as a Speaker representing the People’s House and not just a Party; a Speaker confirmed by members of both parties;  coalition Speaker! The first in U.S. History.

He remains Speaker beyond 2014 thanks to redistricting that pretty much lockeds up the House for the GOP. He is primaried by the Tea Party but fights off the challenger winning reelection with both Democratic and GOP support. A token Democratic opponent is no problem. He runs as the Jobs Speaker.

When the House is organized for its next term, Boehner is nominated by members from both parties and 2ith the support of the same coalition wins.

Boehner goes on to be one of the most productive Speakers in House History.

Freed from the Tyranny of his own Party’s Ideological Zealots, he would go down in history as someone who put country above party in one of the most partisan institutions in Washington DC. He would go down in history as the first Speaker to remake the office in a way that fundamentally transforms it in the face of the challenges of the 21st Century. He would be able to speak the truth- taking on both Dems who are too  far to the left and GOP who are too far to the right.

He and Obama would make history.

The President and Mr. Bipartisan!


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NirekKillgoreTroutBourneIDMurphTheSurf3agrippa Recent comment authors
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Hey Murph, very well done. Great concept for an article. Can I have a hit or two of what you’re smoking? 😉

I think Boehner plays the martyr too much to really do anything constructive for the nation. He worked his way up, from humble beginnings, and I think he has sort of a chip on his shoulder because of it. I think this might be, in part, the reason for his negative views on social programs.


Hi MTS. I like this. Very often the “What if” articles are far more powerful than summarizing ugly truths. There certainly are enough of those to choose from.

Before I proceed, I’ll cover my behind with a caveat saying that what I suggest could happen does not necessarily reflect my personal views, but it’s getting closer. John Boehner is very fortunate that the position of authority he holds is in this country. In four of the five countries I’ve worked in, he would already have been been removed from office and not by a special election but by the means they’re quite adept at, as witnessed in Lybia.

He sees the electorate as invited guests watching from the gallery in the House Chamber. We witness the rape of our country while the Democrats we elect do nothing and are complicit by their silence.

You have earned your title as a true satirist. Well done.



I really like that article.
You need to send it to John Boehner.


A great fairy tale, Murph! If only Boehner didn’t have the soul of a small insect, maybe he could step up and become someone historic who people would respect and remember for many years

But since he recently said that the yardstick for judging how successful he was in how many bills didn’t get passed or how many laws were ended, I wouldn’t be holding my breath on the above coming true.

In fact, because of his incompetence and lack of gravitas, he is being thrown around like a rag doll in the teeth of a Rottweiler by the Baggers in The House and rumors abound that after the inevitable failure of Boehner in the eyes of Baggers on the debt ceiling and budget this Fall,Boehner may be out as Speaker.

The crazies have taken over the asylum in the GOP and Boehner’s attempt to just lock himself in his office to sty safe may prove futile in the end.