What would happen if I listen, really listen to the news 24 hours a day?  What would I hear from the different channels?  What would the outcome be and what would my response be?  Would it make me angry, happy, sad, disgusted?  I asked myself those questions and decided, what the hell, I’m  going to find out, so here goes.

I found out that Andrea Mitchell is a Wall Street ho.  She has a hard time understanding why people are going up against Mitt Romney for his obvious good deeds at Bain Capital.  I thought to myself, I am sure her asshole husband has trained her right and she, like the ladies of the night, will always defer to her pimp.

I found out that Andrea Mitchell and Chris Ciliza are terribly worried at how Mitt is going to make his millions last through an election cycle.  Apparently even though they ARE the “journalists”, they are not yet aware that Rove’s Crossroads GPS and Goldman Sachs are funding Romney.  He will probably still retain the majority of his almost quarter of a billion dollar holdings through his campaign and none of his homes will be foreclosed on despite the fact he is not occupying them right now.  The established elites of the party are supporting him.  I figured it out and I am just another retiree with no journalistic experience.

I found out that Jim Clyburn can make Mitchell shut up for a few minutes and only be able to get out the phrase, “thank you very much, we are out of time” when he was done, proving she has zero intellectual capacity when confronted with a person who knows what they are talking about.  I bet she is good on the coctail circuit though.

Oh darn, I thought that pic was of her and Greenspan but someone tells me it is Kim Jong Il, I guess I got it mixed up since Greenspan has been hiding since his appearance in Congress back in 2009.

I learned the Catholic Church can fire a teacher without any repercussions with regard to discrimination and all churches are included in the Supreme Court ruling.

I heard Hillary Clinton vehemently states that NO U.S. persons were involved in the assassination of a Iranian nuclear scientist, despite the fact we all know the CIA is imbedded in the country.  Then, a chill went down my spine, I just read a book by a zionist right-wing evangelical convert author (that sure is a mouthful but all true), Joel Rosenberg, where the exact same thing happened in the same city but he claimed the Iranians were blaming Israel/Mossad.  Now if I were an Evangelical I would see this as a sign of the end times because surely Joel Rosenberg is one of the prophets of the last days.  Calmer heads pervail here though, I think he just made an educated guess based on the news coming out of Iran for the past few years.  If you are interested in the book, it is called The 12th Imam and it is a good read if you are aware of the author’s religious leanings.  I have read his books for the entertainment value, not his religious leanings.

I found out if you work for MSNBC and write a book, they will shamelessly promote that book 24/7 despite the fact you are an ex-republican Wall Street schill pretending you are on the side of the PEOPLE, especially with a book to sell.  But your name is RATigan so it’s all good.

I learned that Moody’s is forecasting steady job growth for the coming year so they really can do more than develop complicated algorithms that aided and abetted Wall Street in committing the biggest heist in American, possibly World History where no one is ever prosecuted.  Let’s just hope this is not another of their Triple A ratings on a junk job market.

I learned 8.8m jobs were lost in the recession of 2007-2008 and Obama has only overseen 2.6m jobs recovered since 2009.  I guess you could say those 8.8m jobs were his fault since he was running for President in that time frame but I like to think Bush and his cronies had something to do with it.   And certain people wondered why their parting from DC was accompanied by the song, “Na Na Na Na Na Na Na hey hey hey goodbye” with Chris Matthews claiming the Inauguration crowd was being disrespectful.

I heard that Governor Haley Barbour decided to stick it to the citizens of Mississippi by pardoning more than 200  people including convicted murderers, DUI deaths, manslaughter, kidnapping, rapists etc.  I guess the only convictions that should hold are the ones against women who have abortions because we all know he would be PRO-LIFE in those instances with those women receiving no compassion at all.

I heard a Bomb-in-a-bag exploded when a woman and her husband found it beside their car with their names written on the bag.  The picked it up, put it in the car and when the woman opened it after they had gone a few blocks, it exploded.  Her ex-husband is the suspect because she had to take numerous restraining orders, file for divorce and won a $121 thousand dollar settlement from him.  I wonder if he just did not want to pay that settlement?  Well hopefully he fucked it up because they are in the hospital fighting for their lives and I just said a prayer for them.  Hang in there Allyson and Christopher Stone.

I heard that 213,000 Vets have suffered brain damage since 2000 and countless others various psychological problems, but Mitt Romney still hires the PNAC team who worked for Bush and needed a “Pearl Harbor Incident” to put into effect their evil nation building scheme, not to mention the other Bush administration flunkies.  Hmm that may be a post in itself detailing all the Bush/Rove people advising Mitt Romney.  I also have to ask why these people are making the big bucks with all the loss of life they are responsible for and I wonder if there really is a God?

I found out that Michelle Obama is an angry black lady because some twit named Jodi Kantor says it is so. Well I say Jodi Kantor is an angry white lady because she is now losing critical coverage of her book as a result of the NH primary.  Too bad, so sad, for her.  She calls herself a reporter and claims the

“White House has not pushed back on the specific reporting in the book”

despite the fact that:

“Soon after excerpts of the highly anticipated book surfaced online on Friday, the White House issued a statement strongly finding fault with Kantor’s reporting.”

I wonder, does Kantor know Rahm Emmanuel?  Does she know what an hotheaded asshole he is?  He could even make me, a mellow white lady, mad.  Apparently she was not there when he stabbed a table with a fork during the campaign of Bill Clinton because he was “mad”.  Does that make him an Angry Jewish Man?  I think it all just makes Ms Jodi sound as if she is not aware that sometimes people get angry, BUT, they get over it and to put a label to a person in this instance is just, well, juvenile.

I learned that the right cries “Class Warfare” whenever they are attacked, especially Mitt Romney but poo poos the idea that rich people commit “Class Warfare” despite the Occupy Movement all over the world proving him wrong.  I would bet the sheer numbers of the OWS movement scare the hell out of them.  They are probably, as I speak, re-enforcing those gates in their gated communities and writing off the security costs on the tax forms where they always end up paying less tax.

I found out that after coming in 2nd place in New Hampshire Ron Paul is now dangerous, instead of just a pesky moth flying around my light fixture, Rick Perry is stuck on “Vulture Capitalist”, Rick Santorum thinks NH was probably a waste for him and that Newt is about to drop a bomb on Romney in the South Carolina television cycle.

I learned the religious evangelicals in South Carolina may or may not vote based on Romney’s past history or the rhetorical shit he is spewing now depending on how Tony Perkins advises them.  Apparently the WWJD in this situation is not applicable because I am sure Jesus would not fall for a chameleon like Mitt, nor would he make excuses to go with the party line.  Jesus was always something of an individualist in his life, not buying the company line unless it was a direct line from GOD.  And no, that does not mean that GOD really told Bachman, Santorum, Paul or Bachman to run.

Dylan RATigan is on now, should I change over to CNN?  I think I will give it a shot despite the fact RATigan is now talking about the the same old story and Jonathon Alter thinks the president is not really that much apart from Romney in the polls.  Besides I have a DVR and I can record what this schill is saying.  Oh wait a minute here, he just admitted that right now President Obama would more than likely beat all Republican candidates.  Should I stay or should I go?  Sounds like a song I might have heard on the radio but on the way over to CNN, oh goody, my favorite news guy, Wolf Blitzer………..

First off I found out Erin Burnett did not always know she was going to be a journalist.  Who in the hell ever said she is one?

Now I am in the Situation Room, I think Wolfe has White House aspirations.

OMG CNN is reporting the number one suspect in the Iranian assassination is Israel and that the assassination will likely make Iran speed up the enrichment of uranium.  Funny I was not aware that the process could be sped up, but I am sure Barbara what’s her name is far smarter than I.  And the head of Israeli Defense Forces posted on the IDF FB page that he is not aware of whodunit, but he is not about to shed a tear.  Well golly, geez, that is not inflammatory because if it was CNN would not have provoked the situation further by airing it.  But I forgot, I am now in the “shocking video” “breaking news” zone because everyone knows CNN is number one, I mean look at how quickly they jumped on the end of the Tea Party bandwagon.

I am now watching the Angry Black Woman talking to Gayle King, I think people are just jealous that a Black Family has now given the White House substance and class.  The ToyStoryWhite Dude that preceeded them lost it somewhere down in Texas or Kennebunkport.  Perhaps when he shared a joint with Harold and Kumar?

Now they are showing a video of 4 Marines urinating on three dead bodies and you can see from their sniper rifles and helmets that they just could match a group in Afghanistan.  Despite the fact they think the video is horrendous, they never leave it the whole time Barbara Starr is describing it.  Despite the fact this could go viral, the leave it on the screen, never once taking responsibility for encouraging just such an incidence.

Now I usually do not make fun of peoples’ looks but trying to watch Dana Bash talking in SC, all I can see is that big long nose.  Thank God she turned in a conversation with Paul and she is sideways to the camera now.  And who is that old lady standing behind Paul from last night?  If it is his wife, she sure looks like my loving and sweet grandma, rest her soul.  I have never seen her before and she sure does not look like she is batshitcrazy.

Now Jack Cafferty wonders if the Republican race is over, but he wants you to chime in and make up his mind for him.  All these professionals on TV and they cannot make up their minds without asking all of us.  Perhaps we really are the one who KNOW what is what?

I just slipped over to Fox, we will see how long I can stay here.  Roundtable is talking about how Romney built companies that were in trouble, but one guy asking, “what company did Mitt Romney build from the ground up?”.  Then they slide into something about gaffes of Joe Biden and I am lost.  Now I can see why I never watch Fox news.

Channel down back to CNN.  I have 40 minutes until Rev Al comes on and I think I am more likely to be able to get through that one without this ridiculousness.  I think I will do a quick carpet bombing in my livingroom with the vacum cleaner.

Warren Buffet has just issued a counter-challenge to Republicans in Congress.  Actually they challenged him to pay taxes and established some fund for it, but he replied taxes are not philanthropy.  He did challenge McConnell that he would match 4 to 1 for any funds they would like to contribute to the fund as well.  I thought he was smart when I made a bundle on his purchase of Wells Fargo stock, I see he is cunning as well.

Oh dang, I missed that Erin Burnett wanted to make a difference too.  I wonder how she does that as a CNBC schill or as an infotainer at CNN.

Rick Santorum does not believe Romney is the man to lead the party, because he feels his package is just the right thing for SC and I guess the entire nation.  Even when he is speaking about non-sexual things, he can always get that little zing in there, quite the man isn’t he?  He thinks a “right to work law” would be good for the nation and Wolfe did not delve further into that, nor really anything he said.  I would have at the very least asked him how a “right to work law” would help the middle class, or any worker for that matter.  It is such a phony argument anyway when all a company has to do is advise a prospective employee that they are an “at will” employee.  The GAP does it here in California of all places.

CNN now is filling time by telling how the Twinkie is an American icon that has now filed Bankruptcy.  It is just a Chapter 11 reorg CNN, chill out, no need to go all gaga on a Twinkie sentimental journey to fill up space you cannot fill with legitimate news.

Ahhhh Relief………Reverand Al is on, my only relaxing,  just watch and enjoy pundit show in the entire cycle.

Uh oh Jim Clyburn just called Mitt Romney sophomoric with his patter on class envy.  But Mitt Romney clarified his comment on envy of the super rich, “they who envy should talk about that envy in closed rooms, not in the public.”  Sounds like he is talking to a victim of incest and he does not want to expose the crime to people who might just do something about it.

Now we are talking about responsibility especially with regard to the Satans ofWall Street who lined their own pockets at the expense of the American and World population.  David Corn is making sense, now I am in the “sensible zone”.  We have charts and numbers to go with the claims that are being made, how novel.  If you make your money off an inheritance from money left to you by a parent, you pay 18%, but if you go to work everyday, you are paying the going rate.  But that is not unfair.  Jim Clyburn and Rev Al are going to make sure these issues remain in the forefront of the campaign as they go and stump for the President.  David Corn is persuasive in his comment about the right making Obama now a European in an effort to discredit him.  He ultimately labels their strategy as, well let’s just say,  the southern strategy.

You’re So Bain or Feel The Bain is being covered right now.  It is a damning portrayal of Mitt Romney which is why he is doing everything to deflect this attack.  Including claiming the video as coming from Obama.  Jaysus does he ever tell the truth?  The right wing is circling the wagons and tryin to reign their mavericks in but it does not look like it will work for now.  Rev Al is good with parables.  His mama told him if you throw a brick at a group of hogs, the one hit will cry out, as an analogy to what the right is doing right now, especially Mitt.  Gingrich hit him hard.  The rest just have Blueberry Pie all over their faces.

Now I am listening to a comprehensive conversation regarding Nicki Haley’s decision to sue the Federal Government over State Voter ID.  You cannot blame Haley, after all she was probably not even born when Jim Crow laws were in effect.  But as a woman of color she should be more aware of civil rights in this country.

And finally, I did learn that Melissa Harris-Perry’s show will first air on February 4 right after Chris Hayes.

Well I never got through a full 24 hour cycle and I barely made it through all the cable networks but I did get quite a lot of information.  Some of it valuable, some of it trash.  To tell the truth, I could not watch what they call news for 24 hours a day.

“And that’s the way it is, January 11, 2012”

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funksands
Member

Sue, you have clearly shown what an empty wasteland the world of the 24 hr. news cycle is. This synopsis of your day makes my skin crawl. How did you feel after you were done?

I watched a couple of Frontline episodes the other night and it was soooo refreshing.

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Chernynkaya
Member

Sue, this just plain rocks! I love it. I wish we could each spend just one hour per person watching one particular “news” show and report on the inaccuracies and the slant of each story. I know I spend a lot of time talking back to my TV and telling them how wrong they are! But what can we expect when the NYT’s writes (as they did yesterday)”Are we truth vigilantes?” If they have to ask that–this from the “Newspaper of Record”–we doomed.

As you may know, the state of the press in the US is one of my largest concerns and frustrations. So BRAVA!

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KillgoreTrout
Member

Well done Sue! A perfect round-up of cable TV pudnuttery! I really enjoyed reading this. You have much more endurance than I do, to watch all that without having to bleach your eyes and pierce your eardrums! 😉

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jjgravitas
Member
jjgravitas

Sounds like “Much ado about nothing,” to quote The Bard.

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Kalima
Admin

Sue this was a wonderful idea, and I hope you are giving both your eyes and ears a good rest.

As you know, I have the good fortune of not being able to watch any of these news, did I say news?, stations, except for CNN. The programing is very different from your domestic version, and we have mostly international news. Still, I rarely turn it on, and only if they are covering a speech of your President’s.

Your great description of your 24 hours in Hell however, made me feel as if I had just been there with you. Did you find my slippers, the ones I threw at the screen?

Thanks again, this was so much fun, but I don’t envy you one bit. Just watching 3 GOP debates here, made me run for the nearest oxygen tank, j/k, but I did step outside for fresh air and sunshine.

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Khirad
Member

Dammit. I can’t remember what it was now, but Erin Burnett said the most jaw droppingly dumb thing I’ve ever heard any talking head ever say about the Middle East in a tease.

Perhaps it’s for the best I was able to flush it from my mind.

Dana Bash, god bless her, gas what I like to call an unfortunate visage. But it’s good to know looks aren’t everything, at least.

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AdLib
Admin

Can I just say I love this article and think it should be an occasional feature.

You have completely spoken for me, my internal monologue when gritting my teeth through that conservative hack, Mrs. Greenspan’s Hour of Support The Power and yelling at the tv while watching Dylan Rat Again appear on every MSNBC show including Lock Up, “Get that moronic slime ball off of my screen, I’m tired of having to clean it!”

Well done Sue but one request…GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!! 😉

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KQµårk 死神
Member

X2 it would be a lively addition to the Planet. I think the daily and periodic pieces like MB, DP, MEU and bito’s TO/OT make this a unique site because it’s comprehensive while focusing on unique POVs at the same time. A semi-periodic unique view of the 24/7 news cycle would fit into that outside of the box concept in a great way. In other words the stories are not as important as the unique way you view them Sue.

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foodchain
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foodchain

Hi Sue, Now I understand the perfection of Stuart and Colbert. I cannot be found watching FOX. The kids comment on how I yell at the TV even satching MSNBC! Great effort and great reporting!! Don’t you wish Morrow was still here?

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choicelady
Member

Girlfriend! This 24-hour experiment was like volunteering to be waterboarded! The news you report is amazing in its awfulness, but even MORE amazing is that you’re spot on coherent enought to WRITE about it! When I read your beginning – 24 hours of TV – I figured that and the picture meant your babble would be “Washed my brains today and can’t do a THING with them!”

This is above and beyond the call of duty. A gift to and for us that is truly AWESOME. Now, all I wish you is 24 hours of peace and quiet and no TV save for what YOU want to see.

You are an amazing woman, dear friend. Thank you for your sacrifice!

PS – Just remember that chocolate is brain food.

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Nirek
Member

There are lots of things in the “news” that piss me off. I’ll mention only one in this post. This “news lady” author of a book about the FLTUS. I have not read nor will I her book or excerpts, why, because I refuse to enrich her. I heard the First Lady say that this person “news lady” wrote untrue things. I think Mrs. Obama is being kind. The “news lady” is lying and has no first hand information to back up her assertions.

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KQµårk 死神
Member

That’s about the only story that bothered me too. And like you I refuse to give her book anymore play than this post.

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KQµårk 死神
Member

I don’t know how you do it Sue. I can’t watch that clown parade of talking heads more than once in a while. Believe me all the do is detract from the quality of life with their endless shallow memes. It’s just amazing how they can talk for hours and hours and actually say nothing that matters.

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Carmen
Member
Carmen

Well done! You’re a braver woman than I am because I can’t watch the news and I barely even listen to NPR. My friends on facebook give me the highlights. Thanks so much for fearlessly going in there for us. Now I have to go lie down.

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