Donald Trump in February 2009
Image via Wikipedia
Most Definitely Not A Villain

This morning, an extraordinary, exciting and unexpected event occurred. This morning, between the hours of six and seven, the sun rose. This wholly unforeseen event shocked and surprised much of America. But, there was one man. One man who had predicted this tremendous occurrence.

Today I’m very proud of myself because I’ve accomplished something that nobody else has been able to accomplish,” boasted a beaming Donald Trump. The egregious Trump, looking as magnificently orange as the celestial orb whose arrival he had heralded continued, remarking that “He should have done it a long time ago.” No doubt referring to that period of time known as “night” when the sun hides, in a fashion scientists have described as: Standing behind someone slightly to one side and then tapping them on the opposite shoulder.

The hereditary businessman followed up on his remarks later in the day, commenting that “Now, we have to look at it, we have to see, is it real.” With this statement Trump is more than likely referring to the confusion that momentarily occurred when people first sighted that object now known as the “moon”, or “fake sun” that rose once the sun disappeared. At first, people merely assumed that the sun had gone out in a fashion akin to when a light-bulb goes out, meaning that the pixies that power the glowing orb had either died or fallen into a comatose state. Thankfully, this was not the case as people soon realised that this “moon” was not only in a completely different part of the sky than the sun had been, but that the moon was also several million times closer to the earth than the sun had been.

We’ll bring you more on this story as it develops…