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whatsthatsound On April - 15 - 2011


Well, the Great Whore of Babylon was on my tail
I tried to evade her, but to no avail
I searched low and high for a Holy Grail
but all I could find was a Rusty Nail
I wound up with the whore, bedding down by the Nile
in a seedy motel called The Crocodile
and she said to me, “boy, your lot ain’t cast;
you can go when you please, but don’t come too fast!”

then the Circus Maximus rolled into town
with a whole lot of lions and a couple of clowns;
Nero and Cicero had front row seats
they were reciting Ovid, but it came out like Keats
and the master of ceremonies was Bobby D
who called our attention to rings one, two and three
and said, “it doesn’t matter what stage you’re on
cuz it’s all just a show, but it must go on”

I was going quietly into the night
when the Sheriff of Nottingham came, lookin’ to fight
he called to his officers one by one,
and they showed me the business ends of their guns
I said, “Sheriff, what’s this?  I’ve done nothing wrong,
I’m just finding the rhymes to the lines of my song.”
And he said, “that don’t matter none; you’ll do time
you’ll be breaking rocks before the church bells chime”

into Sherwood Forest I made my escape,
after Sherlock Holmes kindly loaned me his cape
I lived there for a while with the elves and gnomes
who were all good friends of Mr. Holmes
but I knew it was finally time to leave
when the Queen of the Faeries pulled on my sleeve
and said, “You best get while the getting’s good
‘cause this all belongs to Robin Hood!”


then the Archduke of Canterbury, with seven Cornish hens
tried to turn the Hound of Baskerville into man’s best friend
while the caliph on camelback flashed his scimitar
and the Naiads gave Perseus a hand-rolled cigar
we all went down to the festival wearing jewels and beads
where Jesus was talkin’ bout them mustard seeds
and He said as He threw the seeds into the air
“If you know where you’re going, you ain’t going nowhere!”

Categories: News & Politics

Written by whatsthatsound

Writer, Illustrator, Curmudgeon. Ferret Owner. Tokyoite, formerly Ohioan. Much nicer in person.

23 Responses so far.

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  1. Chernynkaya says:

    Whts--your art took me back to my happiest times, when I was a kid and spent hours pouring over picture books. I could never get enough and your paintings are exactly the type I loved the most, filled with detail and whimsy. Each painting is a feast.

    Looking at your work reminded me of my all-time favorite, although your style is different but no less captivating. Do you know Arthur Szyk? He illustrated (among many things) a collection of Hans Christian Anderson tales that I had as a child:



    • whatsthatsound says:

      Hi Cher,

      Those are really extraordinary! Thanks for posting. In this particular series of illustrations, I wanted the images to be as referential as the lyrics, so I borrow from Goya, Waterhouse, and Richard Doyle (uncle of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle), who illustrated fairies, elves, etc.

  2. AuntieChrist says:

    …I’m stunned into silence, yes, even the silence of typing a reply (which is why it’s taking so long) to the artistry that you so effortlessly and selflessly share.

    Absolutely incredible.

    This site is fantastic.

  3. escribacat says:

    Love this, Whats. You are amazing. So who is the fellow in the hat, doing the “Hitchcock?”

    I see two extra images off to the right on my screen….behind the panels. Something wrong there?

  4. KillgoreTrout says:

    Excellent wts. Contributions like this are what makes this site so great. The Planet really is unique.

  5. foxisms says:

    Had there been a ticket, WTS…this would have been worth every penny of the price.

  6. foodchain says:

    WTS, Just wonderful! It’s early Sat am here and I had my face right up to my computer so I could read the scrolls (;-)). Of course I found the text, but reading it from the scrolls slowed everything down and added to the experience.

    Good eve to you if you catch this note.

  7. KQuark says:

    PML!!! and that’s just from the animation.

  8. Khirad says:

    The fairy was adorable.

    (never mind the Naiads!)

  9. AdLib says:

    May I be the first one to say “WHOA!” and “WOW!”…which together might sound like “WHOAOW!”…which fairly summarizes my reaction to this latest creative work of yours.

    Just brilliant and clever, WTS!

    • whatsthatsound says:

      Thanks, Adlib!
      Can I get you to tweak it for me a bit? Try as I might, I can’t get the first three words to show up. It’s actually, “Well, the Great Whore…”, but that just keeps disappearing.

      I had a lot of fun with this. It’s pretty old, actually. It started out with just a few lines, trying to do something like “Highway 61”. But it sort of took on a life of its own afterwards.
      May it be as fun to peruse as it was to create!

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