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Abbyrose86 On February - 26 - 2011

At what point is it acceptable to give up on our society? Why does our society insist that people must keep trying when it is evident that no matter what some try their lives will still be bad by current definitions or not what they want or that nothing WILL change?  Life is NOT wonderful for many people, for some it’s just a drudgery,  it’s just the way it is and that sucks. Some people are simply unlucky and some people simply are NOT cut out for the “dog eat dog” world that we have created. It is unfortunate? Most definitely. It is sad? No doubt. Is it fair? No, life isn’t fair. Is a change of attitude enough? NO, sorry but sometimes  it’s not enough.

Pretending everything is “ok” doesn’t help FIX the situation. Neither does ignoring it or not talking about it or trying to change perspective. At some point no matter HOW you look at some situations, there is no “bright side”. NOT everything HAS a bright side, unfortunately.

I’ve often heard people say “life is what you make it” or ” that it isn’t the situation but how one reacts to it” or my personal favorite “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”..and many other such pithy comments about how to deal with the trials and tribulations of life.  Some of those adages seem even somewhat condescending and kind of rather a form of propaganda. All the cute idioms in the world can’t make a bad situation better. Some situations are simply just bad, pretending otherwise is devoid of reality.   Now, I’m not saying these bad experiences cannot provide a learning opportunity, or provide an ability to empathize or even grow in wisdom, but even with the long term benefits in emotional growth, the situations ar still BAD, and create much suffering for individuals dealing with them.  Not to forget,  in a society such as ours, that is heavily influenced by crony capitalism, wisdom doesn’t pay the bills or keep a roof over ones head.

What is the point? I mean, really, WHAT is the point of living a miserable existence? Change in attitude can only help to a certain extent. AT some point, some losses are simply too much to bare and are such that life is NOT REALLY worth living under the circumstances.  NOW, I am not suggesting ‘offing’ oneself.  Nor am I suggesting drinking or using drugs to cope with the situation, although I see no problem with that IF that is what a person REALLY wants from life.  (THAT is not my position to judge.)

WHAT I am suggesting, IS,  WHY should we just accept this is “how it is” and take it no further?  WHY do we feel we must accept what “it is”?  WHY do we feel the need to live within these constructs that society has created and which we accept without question?  WHY can’t we just ‘drop out’ of the game? WHY can’t we chose to change our own world and lives ?  Now, with that said, dropping out of our society is not really possible, because  one cannot live without food, shelter and other basics required to sustain life and since we as a society have determined that one must have money to buy basic necessities, unless one has a substantial trust fund or access to money…dropping out is not really an option, is it?

Poverty is NOT a choice, not really.  I tried it…doesn’t work.  (Thoreau was wrong.  Simplifying still requires SOME money, in our current society. ) NO one REALLY chooses to live in poverty…contrary to popular mythology. Some don’t possess the SKILLS and abilities to get out of it, whereas other do have the ability , in spades.  Yet others simply don’t want to succumb to changing their values to survive.   We live in a Capitalist society. Thus without capital or access to capital it is VERY difficult and sometimes JUST impossible to climb out of poverty. Horatio Alger stories are rare and ARE stories, that ARE NOT indicative of actual reality for most.  AND for those whose moral compass won’t allow them to take advantage of others, or who have an aversion to ‘the systems’ as they stand, there is another obstacle.

NOT everyone has a MARKETABLE talent or ability  that is able to provide a means to make money and thus survive. Some people are NOT MARKETABLE. The market will only pay what the market DEEMS of value. Or put another way, people will BUY something they think they want for a price they think the item is worth. Thus unless a human being has the the certain skills or talents which society deems of value, that human being WILL NOT be able to sell themselves to ANYONE regardless of what they do.

NO one likes to admit these things. WE all like to pretend any obstacle CAN Be overcome, but that is simply NOT true. Man is limited in his abilities. MAN is NOT omnipotent or omniscient. Therefore, MAN is LIMITED by what is in his mind and within his talents. NOT everyone possesses the same abilities and values.  DUH!. Yet we as a society insist that “everyone” can do “anything”…that is utter BULLSHIT!

No matter what I do, I will NEVER be able to do certain things….I cannot for example, look at body fluids without gagging and vomiting. ,a career in medicine IS OUT OF THE QUESTION for ME!   NO matter what I do, I will NEVER be able to make a career out of playing sports, as I am a KLUTZ, and most sports are MALE dominated, and I’m not a male. Not matter HOW a male tries, he will not be able to give birth naturally, of course, he doesn’t possess the necessary equipment. Shouldn’t this go without saying? AND some people can’t give up their values to make a buck.  THESE values may seem alien to some or maybe out of the ‘norm’ but they DO exist.  EVEN in the gang culture of the ghettos.  THE people who live on the fringes of society have their own set of values and for THEM, doing things against their VALUES is not acceptable.

FOR me, MY talents lie in my ability to think and reason. WOW…that sounds great doesn’t it? I mean, doesn’t it sound good to be intelligent and possess critical thinking skills? One would think…but the truth IS our society does NOT value intelligence. WE pretend we do, we act like we do, we pay lip service to the concept….but we really don’t.  How else does one explain Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin?  None of these three people are Mensa candidates, YET all three are paid handsomely for their ability to manipulate, AND that my friends is the true “intelligence” our society pays for and values. WE don’t value true intellect or artistic talent…we value those who can tell us a story that we like. NO matter how much evidence there is to the contrary, we as a society believe the con artists, always have.   Which actually lends credence to concept that our is slanted to reward narcissists and sociopaths.   I have read some studies and articles that allege just that idea.

Thus, people who have ethics and morals that are contrary to the mythology we have created, who ALSO see the world for WHAT it really IS and not what everyone PRETENDS it is, have a very difficult time surviving in our society. Throughout history, we have been told the stories of artists, writers, politicians, philosophers, etc, such as Van Gogh, Tolstoy, Nietzsche, Hemingway, Thoreau, Shakespeare…even Einstein, who although THEIR works have been lauded for their genius, at the same time have been riddled with socially deemed emotional and mental  issues, as well.   Does it not occur to anyone that because of their extreme intelligence they UNDERSTOOD how truly FUCKED up the world was and they COULD see it CLEARLY? These people didn’t have MENTAL issues, they JUST didn’t accept society as it was and were chastised for it… they were simply able to COMPREHEND what most could NOT…they simply SAW the WORLD in all it’s ugliness and realized that LIFE is full of lies, manipulation and BULLSHIT, and made the mistake of trying to get others to SEE their perspective.  Isn’t that the reason we all appreciated George Carlin so much?  He saw it for what it was…and told it like it is!

Understanding the world and it’s bullshit makes living in the world honestly VERY difficult if NOT impossible. Doesn’t that stand to reason? Seriously, if one has certain ethics that say it is wrong to lie and cheat another, than a career in sales is PROBABLY going to cause some conflicts. SALES is NOT an “honest” profession…it’s the epitome of manipulation. Our society ACCEPTS it as an “acceptable type of manipulation” but manipulation  just another word for LYING ….ergo its  NOT honest.  However, most don’t ACTUALLY think about it…they just do, because they need money.

Why do I even HAVE to spell this out???? I shouldn’t have to tell people that SALES people don’t CARE about THEM..they care about SELLING THEIR PRODUCT and making THEIR COMMISSION….PERIOD. THEY will say and DO whatever it takes to GET YOU TO GIVE THEM YOUR MONEY. When a sales person tells YOU you look lovely today, DON”T BELIEVE THEM…they say that to just about EVERYONE…the art of sales is to tell someone something plausibly true that the person WANTS to hear.   My goodness…I’m AMAZED at how many ACTUALLY believe sales people!  Anyone who has made their living at sales…especially commission sales, KNOWS that honesty IS NOT the best policy, especially when one has bills to pay and a quota to meet!  A sales person who has a salary MAY be more honest…however, IF he gets a good bonus based on his volume…it’s iffy.

Marketing is another career rife with manipulation. Corporations spend literally BILLION, NAY TRILLIONS of dollars getting YOU to think their product is the best thing since sliced bread…they do it because IT WORKS…and MOST people FALL for it….again manipulation=lying.

There is another career an ethical, intelligent person CAN’T do. Politics….OBVIOUSLY. That one I shouldn’t have to SPELL out! SEE the many, many less than honest politicians as an example.  HOW can one REALLY survive or REALLY make it to the top as a politician without being deceitful, even IF one initially goes into that vocation, with an honorable intent?  It seems to me, the system itself does NOT lend itself to complete and honest disclosure of anything.  VERY few politicians have been able to secure their position honestly.  Al Franken and Bernie Sanders are rarities.  Heck, look at what happened to Grayson…OK…he was a tad over the top, but he was basically trying to stick to his values and “tell it like he saw it”.

Debt collection? That one too seems to be OBVIOUS. Lawyer? Another OBVIOUS disconnect. Law is interesting and is great for an intelligent person to study…but for an honest, ethical intelligent person to practice….it has WAY TOO many complications.

Business as a whole is difficult for honest, ethical intelligent people because it is rife with manipulation, back stabbing, double dealing,etc. ONE has to be devoid of ANY REAL moral values to TRULY succeed BIG  in business.  BUT here’s the catch…everything has become a business, EVERYTHING.   SO, regardless of what vocation one chooses, business and the way it has been bastardized in recent decades to become, is at the heart of any profession.  Thus, the ideals, that it has come to espouse…specifically ‘profits above all else’ has totally derided almost ALL professions.

Machiavelli would be SO happy to see how everything has turned out!  He was SO proven right!  I would think think the Marquis De Sade, is rather pleased, as well…he too has seen his beliefs about mankind come to fruition.  WHY have we espoused, in theory the good IDEALS espoused by the age of enlightenment, YET embraced (behind the scenes) those of the most jaded?

What is wrong with our society?  Adam Smith’s writings are often misquoted and bastardized to fit an agenda.  HOW many have actually READ “An Inquiry into the Nature and Causes of the Wealth of Nations”?  I’m actually thinking very few in terms of percentages of the American populace has ACTUALLY READ the book.  I’m thinking most Americans have read very few of the writings of the ‘Age of Enlightenment”.   While on that subject….of the “age of enlightenment’ why does it seem that we haven’t progressed any further than all those concepts from the 18th century?  WAS that period  humans pinnacle of understanding?   CAN’ T we continue evolving and providing REALLY new philosophies and ideals?  I mean seriously…yes those WERE great ideas for their TIME…but did we stall out and stop thinking further? THOSE ideas were great ideas to BUILD on…not to stay strictly focused on.  While there have been some who have taken it to a new level….such as Martin Luther King, Gandhi,  FDR and believe it or not…Hitler (although his ideas were rather BAD) Still those I mention, were thinking outside the box and creating NEW concepts.

WHAT the the hell is wrong with us, TODAY?  WE don’t seem to WANT to push ourselves to really think about what we should be striving to attain.    While the internet and the concepts it provides are fabulous….we still allowed it to become a business and framed by capitalistic ideals, and in time it will become like ALL other corporate controlled mediums…strictly for profit.  Is that what this technological advance should be about?  Business?
Somewhere along the line…the reason for business to EXIST got skewed.  Instead of existing to provide a product or service TO PEOPLE,  business morphed into an entity solely to produce PROFIT and MORE PROFIT AND EVEN MORE PROFIT.  PROFIT has become the only motivator (or incentive) nothing else seems to matter.  Creating a better product or servicing customers  OR creating NEW innovations to BENEFIT mankind is NOT really important.

The motive NOW is simply to make a  PROFIT;  not a living, not just the  ability to survive or thrive OR to provide man with a better existence; but a substantial maximized  profit for the OWNERS of THE business.  Nothing else matters.  Regardless of whether the business is privately owned or publicly traded…the MOTIVE is money…nothing more. Ergo,  business has became something ugly, that exists solely to make wealth for its owners at the EXPENSE of PEOPLE, and the EARTH and all it’s inhabitants.   I’m sorry, but something about this so called sophisticated “civilized” system seems sick to me.    There really were times in history in various cultures,  where money was NOT the sole motivating factor.  I point to the ideals espoused by most Native American cultures, BEFORE Europeans invaded, as an example.

I’ve been fortunate to have tailored my formal studies around various components of history, politics and economics, in such a way, that I was studying the specific concepts at the same time, and AFTER 21 years IN corporate America.  This combination has proved to be SO valuable, and has helped me develop many of the ideas I put forth on this forum.

BUSINESS was developed as a means to provide for mankind.  MANKIND did NOT come into existence to provide a means for business to exist.  We, people, seem to have forgot that simple concept.    More simply put…BUSINESS exists to benefit mankind, mankind DOES NOT exist to benefit business.   BUSINESS did not always exist nor did capitalism, communism, socialism or even monarchies.  THEY developed over time, but as man progresses, so must our systems of allocating resources.  Are we at that point of creating new ideas again?

In this current world view, someone who is intelligent, moral and ethical, who CAN’T STAND body fluids,  has few vocational choices, if they wish to be outside the corporate paradigm;   writing books (which still has to be marketed and sold, so it’s still has a corporate element ) , journalism is OUT, these days, as it was taken over by big business…(no ethics there, and besides doesn’t pay enough to pay the bills), writing blogs, (very fulfilling…but I don’t know how to make a living at it), working as a public servant (and THAT one is seriously under attack these days, and DOES involve a bureaucracy) volunteer work (but that DOES NOT pay the bills) artist(again doesn’t pay until after one is dead, or unless one sells out to corporate sponsorship), philosopher(not really in high demand these days AND requires at the very least a masters…which is very expensive…the ROI on that one is kind of bad…unless one was BORN to money)  stay at home parent(THAT too doesn’t pay…can be extremely rewarding BUT requires a spouse with money), comedian (and that one too, has it’s perils).  That’s about  it. Those are the only real career choices available for a person with those particular skills,  talents and values . WOW…not a lot of opportunities to REALLY make money in order to live, and in which provides the ability to enjoy what life has to offer and still live by one’s principles, are there?

Even teaching is no longer immune to the effects of our immoral unethical society. Sad…as that one always seemed to be a good one, too. Or at least it should have been…but it too has been taken over by manipulation and ‘market forces.  The whole “no child left behind” thing seems to have destroyed the concept, not to mention the incentives that don’t necessarily provide the MOTIVATION to attract the REAL  best and brightest. (Sadly, many of those, who would be fabulous teachers are swayed by the monetary incentives offered by other career choices as our society as put a ‘pox’ on doing things for other than financial gain, and equally as sad, many of THEM, don’t realize it until later in life.)  Another unfortunate thing going on NOW, is that there are political forces, which are determined to further devalue a vocation as an educator.

It seems our society is now vested in  indoctrination and memorization for our children…we don’t encourage REAL thinking anymore.   So sad.  Not only that, but teaching used to be a stable profession, that at least paid a living wage and if some on the right get their way…well, that certainly MAY change.  {SIGH}

Thus it seems morals and values have become passe. So it appears that in order to survive in this world, one has to give up on being a decent human being IF they wish to be able to keep a roof over their head, food on the table and maybe enjoy some of what life has to offer. THIS is acceptable…HOW??? or WHY??? Personally, I don’t think it is acceptable…hence my desire to give up! I’m rather disgusted by what our society has evolved into…it seems to me, we have gone backwards.  VERY backwards…we seem to be striving for a feudal world again.  Yikes!  WHY?

For me, I want to live a good life. I want to be able to pay my bills, eat, enjoy some of life’s pleasure and STILL remain loyal to my beliefs…what is wrong with that? And at the same time, I want to be contributing to the betterment of mankind. WHY am I the bad “guy” for wanting to live an honest life based on making the world a better place. WHY must I and others) suffer from the  inability to fuck people over???

SO basically, my late night rant is a based on my inability to be a self centered,  corporate lackey, who has no interest in the rest of mankind and the world. WOW, that sucks.  THUS, what is one to do, to make a living in a society that only pays lip service to values;  and how does one reconcile their desire to be ethical , care for the world as a whole still keep a roof over ones head and food on the table?

ANYONE else struggling with this?

ANYONE have any suggestions?

Categories: News & Politics

Written by Abbyrose86

For the last 21 years, I worked in international trade as a licensed customs broker, international freight forwarder and international trade consultant. I ended up in that business after having studied Journalism and communication in college. (Strange how that worked) Over the last 3 years I have been trying to change my life and my career, so I left my job, returned to school and am on the last leg of completing my Bachelor's of Science in Business Administration and Economics, and am planning on going on for my masters in International Business. It might seem odd that I decided to formally study the business I was in for 21 years...but there is a reason for that... I hope to teach and write on the subject in the future. I'm a mother of 2 young adults and have many hobbies; reading, researching, writing, blogging, decorating, are my current favorites.

165 Responses so far.

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  1. Peabody II says:

    I’ll work on a reply, though, because it’s an interesting challenge. But it will take a while….

    (Check back here occasionally…)

  2. Peabody II says:

    Honestly, Abby, I’m with you on 95% of what you’ve said, but my POV is so different, I don’t even know where to start to respond.

    All i can say is that I’ve found answers that work for me. Maybe it’s because I think way outside the box.

    But I just wouldn’t know where to begin…

    Good luck!

  3. Peabody II says:

    Obviously you are familiar with the dark humor of Despair, Inc. You should be familiar with the translation of “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”….

    “What doesn’t kill you only postpones the inevitable.”

  4. ParadisePlacebo74 says:

    I found this article by Mark LeVine on Al Jazeera English:

    History’s shifting sands

    I think it hints at many possibilities, but the one that I hope for is the realization that we are failing to honor the hopes of our founders.

    It now seems clear that hoping for the Obama administration to support real democracy in the Middle East is probably too much to ask, since it cannot even support full democracy and economic and social rights for the majority of people at home. More and more, the US feels not just increasingly “irrelevant” on the world stage, as many commentators have described its waning position in the Middle East, but like a giant ship heading for an iceberg while the passengers and crew argue about how to arrange the deck chairs.

    Luckily, inspiration has arrived, albeit from what to a ‘Western’ eye seems like the unlikeliest of sources. The question is: Can the US have a Tahrir moment, or as the great Arab historian Ibn Khaldun would have predicted, has it entered the irreversible downward spiral that is the fate of all great civilizations once they lose the social purpose and solidarity that helped make them great in the first place?

    We each still have the power to vote, and a unique constitution that gaurantees our equally shared sovereignty and our rights as human beings. This means that the possibility of change for the better still exists. The oligarchs must show their hand when they make each push to change that guarantee, and each of those times will be just as dangerous for them as they will be for us.

  5. invient says:


    You mentioned that the internet has been creeping into the for profit model… the internet may eventually be overtaken by it, but regardless there will always be us nerds out there that can recreate it on its original ideals…

    There is a program called FreeNet, which is a peer-to-peer file distribution system. The internet is a file distribution system as well, but works on a server-to-client design… by moving to peer-to-peer no one has to pay to host their own website, and it can be completely anonymous (if one desires)

    I have been looking into somehow getting wordpress to work with FreeNet but it just does not seem to deal with anything other than HTML at this point… I have a comp sci background and started thinking of ideas/requirements of how to set up a peer-to-peer program that incorporates a wordpress design… It would not have any of the anonymity of FreeNet, but would allow PlanetPOV to be run without having to pay for a hosting plan (I am not sure what all the costs are to run this site, but I believe it is mostly the hosting costs)

    BTW there is also a peer-to-peer search engine which looks really interesting (http://yacy.net/en/) …


    I had more to say, but kept removing it… I guess I feel as helpless as you do… I have student loans and will be a cog in the profit-driven machine for a while… errrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. Sabreen60 says:

    What’s missing? Community. I don’t live in a rural town of 1000 people where everyone knows everyone else and the neighbors come running to help someone in trouble. Growing up, we had “neighborhoods” in the city. People knew their neighbors. Kids got scolded by any adult who saw the kid doing wrong. Now many of us feel isolated. We are more of an “individualistic” society than ever -- at least during my lifetime. There is no spirit of community. Many of us are striving to survive as you said. We need food, clothing and shelter and it’s taking a lot of resources to provide those things. We’re so caught up in trying to survive that when we do look up it’s to find an escape -- Dancing with Stars or some such foolishness.

    I have traveled many paths searching for the evasive “truth” of how to live ones life. It is said in the Qu’ran that “to the believer this life is hell”. I think what that means and what you are saying (if I understand) is that it’s very difficult to see and understand what is happening around you and NOT be sad, angry and frustrated. Ignorance IS bliss. You can walk through life and not be bothered by the “details”. But I believe for those who do ‘see’, you have to snatch those moments of content and happiness whenever and wherever you can and hold on to them.

    Fannie Lou Hamer said “I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired”. So yeah, I think we all feel that way from time to time.

    I watched the Sunset Limited for the first time last week. “White” viewed the world as a dark and awful place. I would not want to be where he resided.

    • Abbyrose86 says:

      Excellent point about the lack of community these days, as well as the focus of individualism at the expense of all else.

      That was a great point. The self imposed isolation of our current social culture, probably is at the heart of much of what is wrong.

      You really got me thinking with those points. Perhaps, by isolating people and taking the focus OFF people, we have created a false sense that things aren’t really about people. We use words and phrases that take the focus off people and instead place the focus on the THING or the outcome or the concept. WE don’t talk about the human impact of actions and behaviors.

      For an example of what I mean…let’s look at the concept of a corporation. A corporation is a paper entity…a man made construct. HOWEVER, it is RUN BY PEOPLE! PEOPLE make the decisions for the corporation…yet how many times do PEOPLE make comments that seem to NEGLECT the fact that PEOPLE are in charge of what a business does?

      OR how about economics…we don’t talk about the impact of the real human toil of economic policies…we generalize and use conceptual theories and words that takes the focus OFF the actual HUMAN needs that economic policy is supposed to address.

      WE have dehumanized ourselves…in so many ways. It’s troubling.

  7. Abbyrose86 says:


  8. ADONAI says:

    jkkFl, Here is how I look at it.

    People say hate is a useless emotion because it “consumes you”, causes you to behave irrationally, and many times never affects the other person. I could say the same thing about love.

    And forgiving and forgetting for me applies to large things. Great wrongs done to you by someone. We forgive friends and family everyday But these are people you’ve given a little of yourself to anyways. And they in return.

    But sometimes you can;t forgive. Ever. As time goes on, you can forget or try to, but you never forgive. They fucked up, I’m not validating it.

    It’s not about holding grudges either. I just don’t care. Life is too short. There is a great difference between anger and wrath.

    “Anger is one of the sinews of the soul.”
    ~Thomas Fuller

    • david p canada says:

      If you cannot forgive, then you must say that at least occasionally, you prefer war over peace. Unforgiveness brings conflict to the soul of the hater. It’s like a dull toothache that never quite goes away. And it usually brings suffering only to the person originally harmed, which is yourself.

      If you do not forgive, then you hate. There is no middle ground.

      And how is forgiveness “validation”? Perhaps I’m not understanding you correctly, but if I forgive someone for stealing my car, I am in no way condoning theft.

      Countries forgive each other. The United States and Great Britain did so long ago and since then it has developed into a hugely beneficial relationship for both parties. The Israelis and Arabs will ultimately have to forgive one another or conflict will continue without end.

      If forgiveness is no longer an option, then we abandon all hope.

      “To err is human, to forgive, divine”.

      • Sabreen60 says:

        Oh this one I agree, David. When you refuse to forgive, I think that person does hold power over you. I think you forgive to benefit YOURSELF, not the other person.

        • ADONAI says:

          Sabreen60, If I don’t forgive someone, how can they have “power” over me if I don’t give a fuck that they even exist?

          • Adonai, don’t you love people who want you to “forgive” them, when they mean “forget I did anything bad, and trust me unconditionally”?

            I had an ex-roommate royally screw me on bills once. I finally told him, “yes, I forgive you. But I will never trust you again.”

            That really confused him. In today’s society, “forgiveness” seems to mean “permission to keep performing the same negative behaviors”.

    • KillgoreTrout says:

      Adonai, as far as the quote goes, it is somewhat separate from hate. Anger is not hatred. Anger may be the result of hatred, but we can be angry with those we love.
      Anger, can be a positive motivator at times.
      But I believe that our emotions often times get in the way of our intellect.

  9. SallyT says:

    Okay, Abby, I am not going to tell you to keep your chin up, not going to blow smoke up your ass, not going to tell you to be good to people and they will be good to you, etc etc etc etc. I am going to tell you to say: Fuck that!

    Now that we have that out of the way, lets see if that can get us anywhere. You sound like your children are grown. Good! When we have small children we have to put them first in our lives We have to work for their shelter, food, care, provide an example, and remain available to them until we leave this earth. Of course, that last item is still with us even after they are grown and have children of their own. So now, Abby, we are just down to you.
    I can tell you all the wrongs and rights of my life but that won’t serve any purpose except for me to air off the wrongs and rights I have dealt with. We might come across some similarities. Hell, I was in collection for 25 years. But, I was in corporate collections. I got to call General Electric, WalMart, KMart, Safeway, even Bank of America and tell them to pay their damn freight bills or else I was going to sue their ass. (not in those exact words, mind you, but the thought was there.) And, as I have told you before, I got sick, got stubbed in the back, lost friends I thought would be there for life, lost the boat, the cars, the motorcycles, oh hell, I lost a lot of things I thought I needed when I busted my ass to get them. All I got was sick!
    So, Abby, I ended up with just me. Oh, I have my family and my dog. But, that is not the issue we are addressing. I didn’t end up with anything that was just for me.
    What to do for Abby? I only told you all that above because I want you to know that no matter what you do, you always end up with just you. There we need to focus and to make the best place for you to end up.
    We won’t change the world no matter how much we shout. That is going to take millions and probably years. If you find getting involved in that, you should. You get something from helping others, do it! But, as you said that doesn’t put a roof over your head, food on the table, and health insurance. Got to have all those things. We don’t live in a commune where everyone works to make sure everyone is taken care of and all have the equal. Yes, I am as frustrated with how business for profit has taken over the world and made us suckers for wanting more. And, it may destroy some of it. You only have to look at the history of the fall of Rome to see that on the horizon.
    We have to have those above mentioned essentials, food, shelter, and health. How do you get those? Got to find something that will give you a return that will cover the costs.
    Abby, if you can find something that you like that covers those cost, that is wonderful. But, if you have to do something that might not be exactly your ideal, sell a little of your soul. Just enough to get those things out of the way. Don’t over sell that soul! You have the kids grown. Just cover the costs. With the rest of your soul, you spend all of that on you. Just you! Experiment on things you never thought you would. Write that book or paint that picture. Who cares if they don’t make any money until you’re dead. Hell, the kids can have that money and if the Republicans or still in power, they won’t pay inheritance tax. And, YES, Abby, save sometime to change a little part of the world and help those less fortunate. You are important in that effort because of who you are. Why, because of all the things you wrote and your fight with yourself shows you want to be part of making a difference. If you can rest your head on your pillow at night knowing that you cover those costs, had some time to experiment, and gave just a little to making a difference, well, Abby is going to sleep good tonight!
    Abby, you just have to make yourself happy. No one can tell you how. You are the only one that knows that. You know what will do it for you. As they say, “When Mommy is happy, everybody is happy.” Damn right! Its there for you to find. Don’t fight with finding it. You can get frustrated and will. Only you know have an idea where to start because only you know were you want to be when its just you. You’ll find it, I know you will.

  10. jkkFL says:

    Abbyrose, I hate to be a nag, but there was only one article today…!
    ” alt=”Smiley” border=”0″ />

  11. DawgBone says:

    “Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,
    Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
    To the last syllable of recorded time,
    And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
    The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
    Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player
    That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
    And then is heard no more: it is a tale
    Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
    Signifying nothing.”

    As described by Shakespeare, there is perhaps a certain nobility in facing the existential void.

    Plant a garden.
    Blow up your TV.
    Give your friend a smile.
    Get a dog …

  12. KillgoreTrout says:


    First, we have to come to accept (not just acknowledge)that life is full of suffering. It is a harsh world we live in. There are many dangers and unpleasantness. Sickness, harsh climates, diseases, accidents, bad governments, rude people, thieves, killers….etc. We must accept this for the reality it is.
    Once we come to terms with this harsh reality, we can attempt to run away, which is never quite possible, or we can take them head on. As the Buddhists say, we must joyfully participate in the suffering of the world. Overcoming the challenges we face does make one stronger. We also have to realize that there are many things in life that we cannot change.
    We have to ask ourselves, what do we really want out of life? Do we want to climb the proverbial ladder of success? If so, that involves a great many complications, frustrations and disappointment.
    There is much in life, that we learn, which must be unlearned. Constant desire for material goods, a perfect love, a greater degree of fairness…etc. Especially in America, we are constantly reminded that we should succeed, without any definition of success. In America, success is usually equaled to how much money we make and having those things money can buy, like a 10,000 sq. ft. house, an expensive luxury automobile and many other goods that show the world how successful we have been. These things are the flowers in life and not the fruit. It is the fruit that makes life bearable and even desirable.
    I firmly believe that simplicity IS the key to happiness. A person doesn’t have to create strife and unnecessary struggles for one’s self.
    We must temper desire and give up the silly notion that we must always be ahead of the pack, front runners in the rat race. All we need to do
    is provide ourselves with the things we NEED, and not the things we think we want. This removes the strife and struggles, the headaches we get from our expectations that we impose on ourselves. And we don’t have to believe what others believe. We don’t have think as others think.
    It is enough to live peacefully, without desiring, without an obsession with ourselves. We must do for others, work without claiming credit or having expectations of reward. Teach by example, not words.
    All of this quite possible and without a doubt, leads to a more contented existence. An expectation of continued happiness leads to disappointment. But it is quite possible to maintain a certain degree of contentedness. Of realizing that we have what we need.

  13. chasethis says:

    Abby--Jesus Alou! I didn’t even finish reading your post before I had to admire this sentence: “…AND for those whose moral compass won’t allow them to take advantage of others…”

  14. ChrisR266 says:

    Not bad for a late evening rant, Abby.
    But I’m going to spend some time thinking about this before I respond in any detail.
    I do find the concept of locus of control coming to mind, though.
    It took me until I was 30 to really understand the concept, and embrace the idea that I would live happiest if I chose to think, choose, and live with an internal locus of control.
    For a quick overview of the concept, try this link: http://wilderdom.com/psychology/loc/LocusOfControlWhatIs.html

    • Questinia says:

      My motto is “Experience the Freedom of Complete Control”. Internal locus of control, of course.

      • KillgoreTrout says:

        Q,but we don’t have complete control. There are many external influences that we have absolutely no control over. Maybe I am not really familiar with the concept of an “internal locus of control.”
        If someone could explain this to me, I would appreciate it.

        • jkkFL says:

          I absolutely agree! I’m not looking for houses or land, next year’s new car, diamonds or vacations in Europe.
          I want to find a place in a location I’m not afraid to live in- that I can Afford…
          ” alt=”Smiley” border=”0″ />

          • KB723 says:

            jkkFL. I soo Agreee. I have been looking for a house. Sadly the neighborhood I grew up in is totally filled with illegal immigrants these days. :sad:

      • ChrisR266 says:

        That-a-way, Q!

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