My son was good enough to send me this copy, knowing full well that I was stewing over Pat’s asinine comments about the earthquake virtually destroying Haiti:
The ‘Devil’ Writes Pat Robertson A Letter
January 15, 2010
By Frank James
The Minneapolis Star-Tribune published a letter from Satan to evangelist Pat Robertson, responding to his comment that Haiti’s persistent troubles, including the earthquake, are due to a pact the nation made with Mephistopheles.
Actually, it wasn’t Satan who wrote the letter but Lilly Coyle of Minneapolis writing in the persona of the hellish one.
I think she got it down pretty well. What say you?
Dear Pat Robertson,
I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I’m all over that action.
But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I’m no welcher. The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished.
Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth — glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven’t you seen “Crossroads”? Or “Damn Yankees”?
If I had a thing going with Haiti, there’d be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox — that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it — I’m just saying: Not how I roll.
You’re doing great work, Pat, and I don’t want to clip your wings — just, come on, you’re making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That’s working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.
Best, Satan
LILY COYLE, MINNEAPOLIS
Adlib, I hope I have correctly given the author and the newspaper credit. Thanks!
Love that! Thanks for sharing it with us. I too have been in a state of rage and frustration that I cannot give either Robertson or Limbaugh what they so richly deserve, since I am nothing but a mere badger….
Another credit is given to j’avaz, she posted this in Gods Blog this Morning.
Worth another read Em.
Hi bit! I am sorry that I didn’t see javaz’ post this morning. I have had a very busy day and haven’t had time to read “squat”. Sorry if I duplicated something…
Hope you are well! I’m going to try to get back on track here tomorrow!
j’avaz, I think Lily Coyle and AdLib might want to meet for coffee. He could invite her to join the Planet to be on the satire team. This was great; thanks!
Hello. K’es.
Hello, b’ito, I’m just home from work.
How are you?
I must be a little tired because I addressed my comment there to j’avaz, and then noticed article’s byline is Em’s! (Not that I’m not saying “hi” to j’avaz, too…oh…this is getting too complicated!)
Apologies to my friend, Em!!
And hi to all! I really did take good care of my patients today! Honest! My brain only checked out after I got home!
Hi Kes! No apology necessary!! I have done the same thing. I sometimes forget who I’m writing to and have to scroll back up to check. It’s that old CRS syndrome again…you know, “can’t remember sh*t”! 🙂
I hope you had a good night at work! I’ll see you in the morning. I’m pooped!
Excellent Thanks !