How long has it been? Who was I even last time I was here?

I am still Khirad, my nom de plume, my kunya still. Long story short, I found the love of my life, got engaged, got my heart decimated, had a mental breakdown. You know, fun life stuff. It’s been long enough in the healing process a couple years on, I don’t need to go on.

Just thought I’d fill you in where I’ve been. You fill in the blanks. Still in Tucson, and got myself a knife roll. I’m somewhere between Anthony Bourdain and Gordon Ramsay – without any of the Michelin stars, stamped passports or well, skill.

I’ve oft missed the Planet. For a while, we couldn’t afford the internet and such when I was with my ex, and I just lost track. For the maybe third time in the last six months, I’ve gotten reported by Trumpists on Facebook. You know the playbook – I get called a fag, a left-wing Antifa Nazi, Democrats are the real racists, Trump is saving America.

I, in my naïveté, operate on good faith. All of a sudden my mom is a whore and my dad is a cuck. Fine, they are, and I’m a piece of shit, – ‘do you have something to add “fag”‘? Boom, reported for hate speech. I’ve started asking my old acquaintances for phone numbers and other contact information since Facebook is still good for that and I resent losing touch with them for even a week for some butthurt orangeflake.

‘Black Mirror’ is one of my favorite shows right now. It nails the absurdity of our brave new world of algorithms. Like a rusty razor blade compared to Doctor Who’s more abstract social commentary. You are judged. No context, no irony. Just clicks and serotonin dependence, like some crypto-Vegas slot machine. I’ve seen it in myself for a while. It’s hard not to get sucked in.

Especially when you’re bored or lonely – it’s fun to connect with friends. It’s just that. Whilst Facebook was never supposed to change the world or anything like that; it was never supposed to become a tentacle of 4Chan, StormFront, and a haven for bullies posting filth about an autistic teenager like Greta Thunberg or a forum for Zimmerman-adoring incels Gleefully posting pictures of Trayvon Martin’s “skeleton”.

I’ve tried ignoring it. They are trolls. But, the occupant of the White House is the Troll God. Like David Bowie in ‘Labyrinth’, if it were in the Upside Down of ‘Stranger Things’ after a pint of Victory Gin and a speech about Michael Palin’s character, – the true hero of ‘Brazil’. Were you to explain Berzelius Windrip to them, they would nod with enthusiastic approval. Without shame. As if Sarah Palin was a little too hoity-toity and had a little too much clarity.

Hell, I’ll never forgive George W Bush for enabling his gang of neocons. I do not miss his administration, but his malapropisms seem quaint now. And honestly, he’s a great ex-president. It’s almost like he was just meant to be a former president (if but we could have skipped that for Gore). He paints. And, apparently, he actually did read.

Trump takes pride in NOT … well. It’s been a long time since I’ve chatted with you folks, but we’re all on the same page, I can imagine. Growing up all the way in the Pacific Northwest, I knew who Donald Trump was. And rather than ignorance about his true character, what has truly disturbed me is it’s not just the tax cuts, judges and Machiavellian cynicism, which I could understand if not respect.

No, they love the vulgarity. A vulgarity even Howard Stern – when it came to it – could not harbor or abide in his former guest. I don’t know if I’m just getting older. I recently turned forty in November. I’m the first to discount the prejudice of immediacy. I’m the first to be skeptical about rose-colored glasses towards the past — even if it is JFK or FDR.

I’ve never made any pretense about being the most together person. My mental illness is part of who I am and I try not to make excuses. But; beyond my recent heartbreak and station in life. Beyond that; I can just feel it in the air. This is different. Even my parents who remember Nixon say so.

Or maybe that’s just Arizona? I kid. Arizona is more purple than people realize. Yet, “kids” in the apartment below me. They’re like a couple in their early twenties. Recently got a brand new car. I’d assumed that their old one had a Trump sticker as a hand-me-down from their parents.

Nope. Their brand new car had a brand new Trump sticker, as well. I can deal with the FOX viewers – all with a foot in the grave. But, that youthful cultish devotion disturbs me more. Although, it could just be I hold a grudge because they’re selfish assholes calling the office on me for no reason when they make twice as much noise.

If not my personal bias, it’s not just Facebook. It’s a pattern. It’s every self-entitled asshole basking in the triumph of their own flatulence. And, if these types weren’t born with a Trust Fund, they somehow think it’s owed to them. That they can worship the god of greed, the Prosperity ‘Gospel’ and triple down.

That they can call you a snowflake, but the moment you push back, they call you the fascist. …I was picked on as a kid. Always, quiet, shy, socially awkward. Not on the autism spectrum, but my ADD/I has similar traits and trouble with social cues.

I shouldn’t let it bother me, but that’s why it does. Instead of a safe space when I’m triggered though, I lash back. And, I don’t need to be told, that that only encourages them. However; when you say I sound like a “school shooter,” I respond sharply.

It’s such a complex issue regarding mental health, gun control, and the fact that most mass shooters aren’t even mentally ill, but bullies themselves. Nevertheless, there is something in their acorn-sized reptile brain that knows they would deserve it – no matter how much I make it clear I think it is wrong – even if I am sarcastic sometimes.

In any case, I’d much rather be here on the Planet, if y’all have me back. It’s just that, I couldn’t believe it was real. I thought they were being sarcastic. I thought it was like American Dad, or even The Producers. But no, no irony. Transgenders are coming for your children, and Democrats have a pedophile ring.

Like, holy &%*&%*&% – wow!?!! I mean, like the John Birch Society had an inbred child with the Tea Party and Zombie Reagan had Nancy conjure up John C. Calhoun after the Puritans were summoned to burn any learning materials.

In any case. Update over, I’d really like to start talking about the Middle East again and talking to people that have more than three brain cells, decency and good faith.

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Welcome back, Khirad. Sorry to hear about the crap you have dealt with over the years. I’m glad that I kept my Facebook page private and only go there occasionally. It doesn’t stop them from sending endless emails about friend suggestions of people I don’t know and groups to join that I have no interest in.

Glad you made it back to The Planet.


Khirad, sounds like you’ve been living through quite challenging events in your life but very glad you’ve come through it all intact and with your wit and conscience intact.

So you are doing some serious cooking with that knife roll?

The Planet remains an island of sanity, especially in contrast to Facebook. I’ll expand more on this at a later date and I say this merely as more of an outsider from Facebook (PlanetPOV has a page there simply to notify of new posts here but we don’t participate much more than that). Facebook is a poison apple, IMO. It has the sweetness of sharing thoughts and photos with friends and family but it is a malicious actor in the world. It allows itself to be used and/or participates in corrupting democracies and nations while pillaging the private data of over one billion people. That is James Bond evil villain territory.

Not to mention the abuse and hatred that it has and continues to stoke, bringing out the worst that festers in the human psyche. On the other hand, there are lots of nice pictures of cats.

So pulling away from Facebook, whether planned or unplanned is in my mind, a good thing.

As for the whole Trump Hate game, I think it is like a contagious disease. Seeing Trumpers hating so disgustingly outrages fair-minded people, who launch themselves at those enemies of decency. This is a natural reaction for many who hold principles closely in their lives but it seems to be playing into the game. Whether it’s true or not, the Trump Cult feels that every time they can instigate the outrage of decent people, a devil gets its horns. They thrive on this pulling down of everyone into their gutter so no one has the moral high ground over them anymore. I don’t agree with that mindset, they remain morally inferior even so but they do succeed in controlling the slimy location of the conflict which they see as a win.

Freedom in America does not extend to abuse. While we are free to make choices, we don’t have the right to use our freedom to take away that of others. Whether it’s physical, verbal or written harassment, it should not be taken for granted that being subjected to that is the price of freedom.

As Harvey Weinstein is finding out.

It seems a simple zero sum game for the Trump Cult. They hate anyone and everyone who isn’t one of them and following Trump like beaten dogs. They hate every policy or function of government that isn’t Trump’s and cheer on everything that Trump favors with no critical thinking involved. They are true cultists who need Trump emotionally to dominate everyone they fear. And making this just a matter of us against them is as far as their minds go (and Biden keeps saying they will all work with him if he wins? Biden knows better, he was there with Obama as the Repubs executed their absolute opposition to everything including the ACA and SCOTUS picks, Biden is being dishonest about this.)

And engaging hostility towards these Trump Cultists doesn’t accomplish anything. I join you in imagining the gratification of punching Trump in the face (or Mike Pompeo, Bill Barr, etc.) but my next thought is that this is how the Trump Cultists looked at Obama, Pelosi, etc.

So, I think it is natural to become angered at the corrupt and vicious rodents that follow Trump but it allows their venom to seep into one’s mind to battle with them. They can’t be convinced, those reading along already see them as adversaries or fellow cultists and no opinions can be changed.

I think the mission has to be recognizing that the way to punch them all in the face is to take away their power. Communicating instead with the majority who share our outrage at where things are in this country and building a bond and enthusiasm between like-minded, decent-minded people.

As for Black Mirror, have been a big fan of it for years now and anxiously await an announcement for the next season.

And if you recall the “Nosedive” episode that savaged Facebook and social media, “mirroring” China’s actual use of social scores to control who can travel, get employed and in essence, be seen as an acceptable member of society (or shunned by people afraid to see their social score hurt by being too close with someone with a poor social score), there’s another great argument about against being judged or judging in social media by “likes”. And psychologists have found it addictive, the pleasure of getting likes. A site driven by this, as most social media sites are, looks like a dysfunctional present.

Once again, welcome back! I just gave you a 5!