Remember this lady? She was everywhere. You must have seen her.  

Her voice soothing, confident and trustworthy.

Look at her hair, such a smart style. Her wardrobe was always so snappy and professional.

You had to trust her and obey her. She was ubiquitous. In the airport kiosks, magazines, newspapers and, of course, all over broadcast television, especially the big screen TV at the sports bar.  She was the spokesperson for the American Petroleum Institute. 

I’ve grown accustomed to her face. 
She almost makes the day begin.
I’ve grown accustomed to the tune that
She whistles night and noon.
Her smiles, her frowns,
Her ups, her downs
Are second nature to me now;
Like breathing out and breathing in.
I was serenely independent and content before we met;
Surely I could always be that way again-
And yet 
I’ve grown accustomed to her look; 
Accustomed to her voice; 
Accustomed to her face. 

– Lerner and Loewe

In this article, dated June 2008, the Post Carbon Institute called the API campaign fantasy.

http://www.energybulletin.net/node/45480

That API’s ideas might be more appropriately grouped with fantasy solutions is illustrated by the organization’s own recent television advertising campaign. The campaign includes four separate ads. Two of the ads offer a defense of oil industry profits. One touts the broad ownership of oil company shares by pension funds and implies that viewers’ pensions might very well be benefitting from the superb financial performance of the energy industry. The other ad suggests that oil companies really don’t make that much money when compared to other industries in America. This would presumably make oil companies poor investments for one’s pension fund. But no matter, to avoid confusion the two commercials are probably never scheduled to run back to back.

The remaining two spots deal with the energy crisis. In one a professionally-dressed woman tells us that “we have substantial oil and natural gas resources right here,” as she walks across a map of the lower 48 states. “Enough to power 60 million cars and heat 160 million households for 60 years,” she continues. The reason for her optimism is that “with advanced technology and smart policies, together we can secure America’s energy future.”

 

This lady is so nice, so who can doubt her?  She told us we should think about all the good above ground, no worries.

We won’t have to see more oil platforms because of advanced sub sea technology. How wonderful for us!

To my surprise, she informed me that I owned an oil company.  Wow!  No shit!  

That means I must be so rich. I really like this lady. She knows her stuff!

That Fair Lady had so much good news for us all.  She promised America so many jobs. Where is she now? I miss her. We need her. I bet she can fix that nasty leaky pipe in the Gulf of Mexico. I know she can if we can just find her.  Maybe if all the good girls and boys wish hard enough we can bring her back.  Close your eyes and wish really hard and say that you believe in fairies, because it looks like it’s going to take some powerful magic to fix this mess.  

I wonder just how much API spent on their marketing campaign?

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whatsthatsound
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Here’s what they’ll do. They’ll get Tiger Woods to do the ads. They’ll close up on his pouting, remorseful face. You’ll hear his dad talking to him, asking what he’s learned. As the camera pans out and away, he’ll be cradling an oil soaked bird in one arm and holding a scrubber in the other. Then, the caption. “We’re BP. We’ll make things right.”

Nice article, Patsy!

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Khirad
Member

Ah, if only they could do beer commercials. And have the male population say, “not that’s a APSILF!” [APS = anonymous petroleum shill]

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kesmarn
Admin

Patsy, if you want a trip into a reeeaaally surrealistic world of online advertising by Big Petro, check out the BP “alittlebettergasstation.com” one. Unbelievably weird. Babies driving cars (no explanation why). Cleaning people who are called “The Beeps.” (?) And most bizarre of all, a game you can play in which you are — not the customer — but the employee at a BP convenience store. Your task is to fill the tanks of impatient customers’ cars while simultaneously fetching food/drink items from the store and bringing them out to the crankily waiting clientele. If you don’t satisfy all your customers, you lose, and the message is: “I’m sure you can do better next time.” WTF?? If only BP actually did put gas in cars for people. Hah! Maybe 50 years ago?

Anyway, here it is! (Hope the link works.)

http://www.bp.com/heliospower/extendedsectiongenericarticle.do?categoryId=1000000&contentId=7030705

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choicelady
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Patsy – I never liked the bitch.

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KQµårk 死神
Member

I fought with API who threatened to say some claims in a Patent I wrote were slanderous because I called out the mutagenic nature of estrogen mimickers in many surfactants. Before that I fought them to reduce the levels of dioxin in their mineral oils used in some of our products. They are a nasty bunch believe me.

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whatsthatsound
Member

I’ve called out the mutagenic nature of estrogen mimickers in many surfactants in a bar once or twice, after one too many beers, and believe you me, it got nasty!

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KQµårk 死神
Member

So I guess you never read “Our Stolen Future”.

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whatsthatsound
Member

No, I should. Forgive me for the levity; I’m just so impressed by the science-speak!

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KQµårk 死神
Member

Oh just wait until you see BP’s ad campaign after the spill is finally stopped whenever that will be. I remember Exxon’s ad blitz after the Valdez spill.

The most recent example is Toyota’s spin machine that uses gullible Americans to advertise for them.

It’s amazing to me that one subject never comes up when we talk about oil. Not even counting the power fossil fuels create, oil based products account for about 90% of the products we use one way or another. Almost all plastics come from oil and paints, detergents, dyes, pharmaceuticals, etc. Right now I’m typing on computer keys made of oil. I’m much more concerned what will happen to all the oil based products when we burn up the oil supply.

I just believe you can’t understand our addiction to oil until you realize we all are part of that addiction.

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choicelady
Member

Yeah, sigh, we are. I used to walk to work, then my office had to move for downsizing and money saving. It’s “only” 7.9 miles each way, but there is NO feasible public transit option, so I drive. I drive as little as possible – drive from Sacramento to El Cerrito then take BART into the city. Take Amtrak when I can (but I can’t be coming home very late or I hang all night at the Amtrak station). I do what I can, but unlike my growing up days outside of Chicago, there is NOT good public transit in CA. If you’re on a line, you’re affluent OR dirt poor but the line goes nowhere you need. I drive an old (2000 Saturn) car that gets 39-41 on the open road, 34 around the city, so I hang onto it since I’ll not top that again without expending megabucks. I do what I can there, too.

Who Framed Roger Rabbit told the true story about the oil companies and auto companies that trashed LA’s Red Line and put people in cars.

Electric cars are NOT the answer not just because of the short range but because every one means more electrical generation – coal, oil, nukes. Nope – solar, natural gas, biodiesel – but not something that ties you to the grid.

I hate that lady. She is SUCH a liar! Worst of all, she believes what she’s saying. And makes US feel OK about what we’re doing.

Bah!

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