Displaying 361 To 390 Of 425 Comments UPDATE – For those that have been following along… Going on 14 days now being completely deaf. The machinery noise, assorted beeps, and boops are still ever present, as is the vertigo. I’ve discovered an added bonus this last week as well. When I am vaporizing or smoking my cannabis, if I hold it long enough, I get a “tub/washing machine draining” sound in my ear, the hum ceases, and I pick up these garbled voices as if from another place for a few seconds, and then everything reverts back to the constant hum. I find my cannabis intake has risen quite a bit, as I find it tends to “deaden” the constant hum of machinery, and it has been crucial in getting me to sleep at night. The hum when trying to sleep would be damn near impossible to overcome without the aid of cannabis. I suppose some pharma aids such as Ambien might work as well, but I’ve tried those and do not like the effects of them. I’ve driven my car with my daughter in it on that stuff before, and will never take it again. As I’m a pretty open minded type of person, I’m truly considering checking in with an acupuncturist, as I’ve read a little bit on acupuncture having some success with SSNHL. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20704516 Not to put too much stock in such things, but it certainly can’t hurt to check it out a little bit more in depth which is what I intend to do as there are a few acupuncture joints in my vicinity. Other than that, I think(?) I have my brain heading in the right direction in regards to dealing with this latest crisis. The initial panic, and fear are under control. I’m lucky to have my father around to help me out, that goes a long way in helping to remain in check. The emotional side of it is still a bit of a roller coaster, but once again, the dips are coming further apart as I wrap my head around my situation. No doubt I’m working through the 5 stages of grief. Time as they say, heals all wounds. Personally, I call bullshit on that as some wounds inside our heads never heal, and we carry that garbage around with us for a lifetime, the trick is to recognize it as garbage, but that’s neither here nor there in regards to what’s going on with me now. Once again, I’m sorry to hear of Nirek’s loss. A reminder that we are never alone in our pain or losses, and that we don’t reside in a vacuum, others exist, and have their trials and tribulations that are every bit as painful as our own. My thoughts are with you my friend. » Posted By SmotPoker On January 27, 2014 @ 6:28 am Nirek, That is simply awful news. I send my heartfelt condolences to you, and your family. It’s never easy to lose someone that you love, and mere words cannot begin to describe the pain we feel over such losses. Do try to take some comfort in knowing that your brother knew he was loved by those he loved, and is no longer suffering. Peace be upon you in this time of need. » Posted By SmotPoker On January 27, 2014 @ 5:55 am Eating out with my dad, and my daughter last night I had a stroke of inspirational genius, or perhaps just a stroke. You judge. In the restaurant as we were eating, and they were talking, I decided to try to have a bit of fun with my daughter. She can be wound a bit too tight at times, and I consider it my official duty as a parent to tweak her straight every now, and again. Let her know that life is a journey that you get to decide how fun it is for you. She was to my left, dad was across from me in the booth. I look at him and kind of at her, and I simply state “Knock Knock”, and continue eating, and just looking bored. I wait a beat or two, and I repeat “Knock, Knock”, and again I don’t pay attention if anyone is trying to participate in the joke. Again, I wait a beat or two and let fly another “Knock, Knock” and continue my business. My daughter has had enough of this shit, and she hits me on the arm so I turn to her and I think she’s yelling, (It sure LOOKS like she’s yelling) with an angry look on her face what I believe to be “Who’s there?” I look her dead in the eye, in my deadpan way, and ask “Did someone knock? Why are you asking me you know I can’t hear anything?” My dad about chokes on the food he was chewing, which to me was worth the price of admission on the whole joke right there, and Andrea at first was mildly annoyed, and then the light clicked for her and she saw the absurdity of it all, and joined in on the laughter. Stupid, but funny moment. » Posted By SmotPoker On January 21, 2014 @ 12:26 pm I must admit I did feel rather stupid last night as I was afraid to close my eyes to sleep fearful of waking up blind. Every few minutes I would open my eyes just to check to make sure things were normal. I expect the men in white coats to knock on my door any day now. Ha! Fat lot of good it will do them as I can’t hear the knocks…. Bwuahahahahahaha! » Posted By SmotPoker On January 19, 2014 @ 10:46 am Thanks. He has been an amazing man over the years. Not many would do what he has done. » Posted By SmotPoker On January 19, 2014 @ 10:44 am You story is quite similar to my dads story as well. His father also served in WWII, and my father was drafted for Vietnam in 69 I believe as he was home by 71. I appreciate your kind words. The whole community here has been very supportive during my times of trouble. It’s special to me considering I have only been among you for a short while. I’ve pissed a couple of people off for sure with some of my views on a particular subject, but it takes all kinds to make the world go round. At the end of the day we are all just human beings trying to make our way in a crazy world. I’ve always lived my life on the principal of do no harm, and help whenever possible. It hasn’t made me wealthy, but it’s made me a decent human being, and I think that’s about the most we can ask for. Once again, thanks for the kind words of support. It is appreciated more than mere words can convey. » Posted By SmotPoker On January 19, 2014 @ 9:06 am Yeah, I’ve experienced if before, but those were much more “tinny” in sound as this is more of a steady hum. I also get assorted beeps, boops, and tinks. On the plus side I’m composing some really awesome songs in my head. Sadly I have no way to put them into a medium as I know jack shit about composing or reading normal sheet music, I can read drum music, but I’m lost after that. At this point, I’m just trying to keep my head above water so to speak. I have my moments, but so far I’ve been able to pull myself out of the depths of despair, and kept the pity parties to a minimum. I have no choice. My kid ain’t ready to be rid of me yet. She has too much yet to learn. » Posted By SmotPoker On January 18, 2014 @ 6:48 pm One more thing… I really got to hand it to my dad. He’s pulling through this like a true man. These last few months have not been any easier on him than they were on me. A lot of the pain I feel is my sorrow for his loss as well as mine. Now to be hit with this, I just can’t say enough kind words about the man. I owe him so much. He married my mother when I was 17 years old, and we have both accepted each other since day one. Hell the first time I met him he tossed me a couple of joints of some fine weed, and that was back in the early 80’s as I am now 48, it’s been a very long time. My mother was furious when she found out years later, but it worked out in the end. He and I have been tight for years. He got me into his company as an owner operator as a car hauler. I made some fine money and even better memories running with him, and having good times on the road. He taught me how to drive a big rig, and taught me everything I know about car hauling, and being a man. I owe him so much. He paid me one of the highest compliments when he told me I was a very good carhauler, better than many of the guys that had done it for 20 years or more. I never felt better about myself, as everyone, and I mean everyone in the company would go to my dad for help on how to load the trucks. It is not as easy as simply driving them on the truck and tooling down the road. It’s a puzzle each load. You need to keep height issues down to below 13’6″ for bridges, and the load has to fit. I just feel so bad for him right now. » Posted By SmotPoker On January 18, 2014 @ 6:21 pm Update – I am being driven absolutely bonkers by the constant machinery hum I hear. The tone changes depending on where I am but it’s like I hear the resonance frequency of each spot I end up. It’s quite weird. It was killing me last night as I tried to go to sleep. So much so that I’m kinda dreading the process tonight. I had to smoke a lot of fine high grade cannabis in order to finally get some shut eye. I actually smoked enough that my eyes actually started to physically hurt. That could have been exacerbated by the medication I am on for the ear as well, the warnings with it mention increased ocular pressure… On the plus side, it appears I can finally be in the same room with my asshole little brother for longer than 2 minutes without wanting to knock the dog shit out of him… The funny part is the next younger brother said the same thing, and told me he was jealous. Great minds think alike and all that… » Posted By SmotPoker On January 18, 2014 @ 6:12 pm I guess it’s called a BAHA implant, but yeah it could actually turn out for the better, but I’m not going to put high hopes on it. What will be, will be. Nothing I can do to change it. » Posted By SmotPoker On January 17, 2014 @ 3:51 pm The ENT doctor is stating that it’s SSNHL more do with the nerves I guess. I found out today that he didn’t just give me a shot in the ear, he also inserted a small tube that my dad has to put the drops in. So far no return of anything. If it doesn’t return I am a candidate for a cochlear implant. If it does return I can be a candidate for a BAHA cochlear implant in my right ear, but only if my left ear returns to normal. You must have one good ear for the BAHA cochlear to work. At this point it’s an hourly struggle not to fall into a big old pity party for me. This has easily been the worst 4 month stretch of my life. So far I’ve been able to maintain. » Posted By SmotPoker On January 17, 2014 @ 3:49 pm I’m telling you, there are some really fucked up people on this planet. http://www.oddee.com/item_97694.aspx » Posted By SmotPoker On January 17, 2014 @ 10:20 am No super powers yet although I do seem to be hearing or aware of the he resonance frequency hum of our planet and the buildings I enter. Not sure how useful that is. » Posted By SmotPoker On January 17, 2014 @ 8:55 am The latest – Went to the ENT doc today and got a shot (yes a shot with a needle) in my left ear. If you don’t think that’s freaky and fear inducing you are clearly a better man than I am. Getting shot in the ear with a needle is like the number 3 place I wouldn’t want a needle going in my body, with the eyes, and penis taking the top two spots, 3 if you count the balls, lol…. Luckily the shot was pretty painless due to the Novocaine the the doc used to numb the canal area of the ear. All I felt was a bit of warmth at the back of my throat where that punching bag hangs down (the oblogata or whatever it’s called) kind of like that burning sensation you get when you have contrast dye for a CT or MRI. Not too awful at all really. No immediate results. I’m to continue the anti viral and steroids, and see the doc again in 2 weeks. If this fails, then I am a candidate for a cochlear implant. A real bummer is that they have something called a Cochlear 3 something that COULD have been used on my right ear prior to my left ear taking a dump on me. If my left ear returns I could be a candidate for that on my right ear. Only thing is you must have at least one good ear for that process to work. That’s about it. Oh! One more thing. I’ve been hearing the fucking greatest guitar blues solo’s never recorded since I lost my hearing. I can “hear” these songs inside my head clear as day. Unfortunately I’m a very poor guitar player even when I can hear, no way I could pull these songs off. I am a drummer, though and I’d love the chance to sit down and try to get these songs out of my head and onto some media. » Posted By SmotPoker On January 16, 2014 @ 4:03 pm Not a believer in such things, but I certainly can’t stop you from doing as you wish. I appreciate the support no matter how it’s expressed. Thanks. » Posted By SmotPoker On January 16, 2014 @ 3:54 pm No news to those that are following my troubles. Still deaf as a stone. Went to the ear, nose, and throat doc yeaterday he diagnosed it as Sudden sensorineural hearing losses (SSHL). I return today at 2:15 for another appointment and he gave me a script for some anti viral drugs. Time will tell what happens. Depending on what source you quote I may have a 25% chance of recovery or a very good chance of recovery. Nobody knows. » Posted By SmotPoker On January 16, 2014 @ 8:06 am See the reply to VB Adlib, no news as of yet. They put me on some anti viral drugs, and I have another appointment tomorrow. Thanks for asking. » Posted By SmotPoker On January 15, 2014 @ 2:13 pm Returned from the specialist, and he put me on some anti viral drugs, I expect to start prednisone next, (which sucks, I’ve had it before). Initial reports are it’s a case of SSHLN (which designates it as nerve related) Time will tell if the drugs work. I have another appointment with the specialist tomorrow at 2:15 will know more then. Till then it’s all quiet on the Smotpoker front…rofl » Posted By SmotPoker On January 15, 2014 @ 2:12 pm Just returned from the ER have an appointment with specialist this afternoon at 230 or so I’m already deaf in my right ear so yeah this is cause for concern for me. As I am so fucking tired of saying with things in my life “It is what it is” Thanks to all for your concern. I will keep everyone updated. PS it looks like we went to the same source on the internet for the SSHL info. lol » Posted By SmotPoker On January 15, 2014 @ 9:50 am Uh-oh…. This is definitely weirding me out. I woke up deaf this morning. I was already deaf in my right ear due to a childhood accident. I went to bed last night around 1 am with my hearing intact in my left ear. I woke up a little after 4 and I was deaf in both ears! No joke. » Posted By SmotPoker On January 15, 2014 @ 1:47 am With all the depressing news about abuse and corruption, I believe we could all use a time out for a chuckle. http://cognitive-edge.com/blog/entry/3655/hell-explained-by-a-chemistry-student/ » Posted By SmotPoker On January 11, 2014 @ 7:06 pm I lived in Colorado about a decade ago. I live in Michigan now. I wish Vermont success in their endeavor of crawling out of the dark ages in regards to the legality of cannabis. I had to put down my beloved dog in October, and I lost my mother on November 15th 2013, and the pain is still chipping away at me. Nothing I can’t get over it’s just gonna take some more time. » Posted By SmotPoker On January 10, 2014 @ 1:56 pm Hiya Kids! Good ol Smotpoker stepping in to say hi, and to let everyone know that I was fine. I’ve been withdrawn within myself the last couple of weeks, still trying to cope with my recent loss. I have my good days, and my bad ones. I haven’t had much to say, but I do hope to be on the live chat at sometime tonight provided, I can remember that it is Friday. No guarantees though, as I am really liking my latest batch of some purple herbs… » Posted By SmotPoker On January 10, 2014 @ 11:51 am Tweet reposted on DKOS – What’s the difference between a Taliban soldier and a Tea Party patriot? You can’t make a turban out of tinfoil. » Posted By SmotPoker On December 20, 2013 @ 11:58 pm Shhhhh…..I got an image to maintain… » Posted By SmotPoker On December 20, 2013 @ 3:19 pm Thanks for the kind words. Yep, dads don’t get enough credit. I’ve been best friends with my parents once I reached my mid twenties, and came to understand what it took to be a parent myself. I’ve always felt such pity for those that I’ve met that have horrible relationships with their parents for whatever reasons. I was truly fortunate to have the relationship I had with my mother, and that continues with my father. Upon divorcing my now ex-wife, I got physical custody of our 12 year old daughter who is now 20 going on 21 pretty quick. Her, and her mother do not get along at all. After the divorce, she pretty much had nothing to do with our daughter. It effects my daughter in ways that make want to scream, but there really isn’t anything I can say as I don’t want to be the one bad mouthing her mother. As she has grown up, she’s seen with her own eyes, and it angers her so much. The only advice I have really given her on the matter is don’t let other live in your head rent free. Change the things you can, focus on those, and don’t worry about shit you have no control over. If I recall correctly, I probably heard the same advice when I was her age, and didn’t pay much attention to it at the time either… » Posted By SmotPoker On December 20, 2013 @ 1:36 pm Just finished up the shopping to get all the kids one last Xmas gift from my mother. Talk about exhausting… It wasn’t so much the walking around as the knowledge that I was doing something that she would have wanted, or would have done herself if she were still alive. I think it hit my dad pretty hard as well. He seems to hide his pain so much better than I do, he’s pretty fucking awesome that way I guess, compared to my 4 yr old kid with a skinned knee routine…. I expect a bit of a down day now. » Posted By SmotPoker On December 20, 2013 @ 6:25 am The weather was a bit stony last night… » Posted By SmotPoker On December 20, 2013 @ 6:19 am No, I’m in EST. » Posted By SmotPoker On December 20, 2013 @ 6:18 am Like you, I find such talk quite boring as well. I’m more apt to believe in Ancient Aliens, the ancient Sumerian writings, which many people find quite ridiculous. I don’t let it bother me, but I can understand that people don’t like to have their beliefs no matter how ridiculous they may seem to others ridiculed, and dismissed as fantasy. I have no desire to argue the validity of anyone’s belief system. It’s a road to nowhere. » Posted By SmotPoker On December 20, 2013 @ 6:17 amComments Posted By SmotPoker
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