Displaying 1,291 To 1,320 Of 2,240 Comments Whatsie! you are both totally awesome, just in different ways. Remember that…. » Posted By AlphaBitch On July 11, 2011 @ 3:30 pm I’m in the game: Ann Richards, Molly Ivins, Townes Van Zandt (see below), Joe Ely, Natalie Maines, Guy Clark, Robert Earl Keen, Barbara Jordan, Bill Moyers and dozens of others…… Remember: W. was NOT a native Texan. Unfortunately, Perry is. And for you: the inimitable Townes himself, singing the Ballad of Obama. (Townes died of alcoholism several years ago; he was one of the greatest songwriters, IMO. Amazing he wrote this song to fit the times…) Dedicated to the GOBags:
» Posted By AlphaBitch On July 11, 2011 @ 3:29 pm AdLib: I’m toying with creating my new bumper sticker which will simply read: “You can’t negotiate with crazy.” Either with photos of tea bags, elephants, Bachmann/Palin/Paul or some combo thereof. When I have to threaten the Blov, I use the phrase “I swear to God I will go Kim Jong Il on your ass!” He knows what that means. We all do. Crazy is as crazy does, I say. I hope Obama just goes Kim Jong Il on them. Because you can’t negotiate with crazy. » Posted By AlphaBitch On July 11, 2011 @ 3:19 pm Cher – good luck! I try but find it’s too late for me to be coherent. I’m off to read Why We Suck. It’s just about the level I can handle. Party on, Cher. » Posted By AlphaBitch On July 8, 2011 @ 6:54 pm KT: We call that a “Lyle” down here (for Mr. Lovett) » Posted By AlphaBitch On July 8, 2011 @ 5:04 pm Khirad: the camaro strikes back. Solamente se habla espanol. (Or something like that)
» Posted By AlphaBitch On July 8, 2011 @ 5:03 pm Adonai: A toque blanche??? Way cool. Now I’ll dream of you in your toque and Khirad in his kilt. See you later, gators! » Posted By AlphaBitch On July 8, 2011 @ 4:55 pm Khirad! all the things I love about you, and NOW I find out you are Scottish! The worst trouble I ever got into in my life was letting my little whorish ears have me fall for a man with a Scottish brogue. I admit it – I used to be a whore for an accent. You gots a brogue? A sporron (sp)? Kilt? Good gosh, man – you gots it all!!! – AB PS Captain John was in the Confederate Army as well. I wept when I read a deed that he ceded over 100 acres “and 2 Negroes”. My family later gave the land for the African American community to build a church at that site. My daddy would ride his bicycle for miles to sit on the steps on Sundays, and just listen. He loved the music. Hated white churches – never went. I still own the adjacent land to that little church, and spread the ashes of both my dad and my mom around it. I have a paper fan (from a funeral home) that was left behind in the 1930s when it was “closed”. It’s special to me. » Posted By AlphaBitch On July 8, 2011 @ 3:25 pm Adonai: but do you have cool tri pointy hat thingys???? I thought it was the Society of Funnel Cakes! My bad. Any relation to Marie A.?? » Posted By AlphaBitch On July 8, 2011 @ 3:18 pm Hey cher! I think oldpol and I might be planning a takeover…. Where you live, oldpol???? » Posted By AlphaBitch On July 8, 2011 @ 1:49 pm God forbid, kes! Off to the showers – Pup is meeting up w/ friends and I want to smell good when they come to get him ….. unlike now, fresh from the gym…… » Posted By AlphaBitch On July 8, 2011 @ 1:03 pm Kes, Well, yes, I think so. I am getting a vacation, one way or another, at the end of the month. And a few days are mine and mine alone……. » Posted By AlphaBitch On July 8, 2011 @ 1:01 pm Kes – ask the Blov and the Pup. I think Her Bitchiness is likely more appropriate these days…. » Posted By AlphaBitch On July 8, 2011 @ 12:50 pm And when the next wave washed his suit high, high up on his now winter white thighs, and the Netherlands were packing a punch in his “Holland”, he said “Oh look! Now I’ve gone European!” » Posted By AlphaBitch On July 8, 2011 @ 12:49 pm Let’s go!!!! (Let me get registered and all officially first, ‘kay?) » Posted By AlphaBitch On July 8, 2011 @ 12:42 pm Hear ye, hear ye, dear Kes! Thanks for clarifying. Yep, oldpol – I’m a yellow dog democrat. I just want to dress silly and have the credentials I can flash, then (what was it I read here earlier?) “smack ’em in the moneybags” when they can’t prove their bloodline is longer than my bloodline. All goes back to that Afghan tribal thing. I belong to Tribe Planet. » Posted By AlphaBitch On July 8, 2011 @ 12:41 pm HA! Kes. I think the DAR should have some Afghan and Muslim members. Although I just spent the 4th convincing my other kid from the Netherlands to adopt ME so we could move to St. Maarten. It would make the Pup his grandson. The Blov kept us in stitches, complaining when a wave washed sand up his swimsuit, into his “Nether lands”, so to speak. I think I will now – in all my newfound finery – refer to them forevermore as the Teat Party! You are hereby dubbed Ms. Mala Props! (Remember – I’m married to the King of Malaprops – the “BloviCATOR”). » Posted By AlphaBitch On July 8, 2011 @ 12:39 pm AdLib: Sorry about that Canker Sore thingymabob. Here’s hoping my family did not “fraternize” with yours too much…..:lol: I just found it somewhat ironic. I mean, all the stories I knew first hand about the family had to do with an uncle being committed to a mental institution because he had shot one of the farm hands for spooking the horses (non-lethally of course) and two aged uncles in their 70s fighting to the death with an axe and a gun. Of course, this was the same uncle who was revered as a trail boss in the cattle drives. There was also (sadly) a Captain in the “War of Northern Aggression”, who was described as having beautiful posture and an amiable nature. The things deemed historically important….. So maybe you now should refer to me as “Her Bitchiness”? » Posted By AlphaBitch On July 8, 2011 @ 12:34 pm OK, no fooling. I just ordered a book on my family surname – and guess what? I actually, truly, honestly qualify as a Daughter of the American Revolution!! My relatives arrived in VA in 1635. Can you believe that? And here I waited until I was too old to reproduce to learn this…….. Now I’m thinking I need some knee britches and a tri-corner hat and I can go to those TP gatherings and yell my head off that unless they freakin’ have PROOF they are DAR material, to STFU. (quoting our beloved Cher) Whatcha think, Planetarians??? » Posted By AlphaBitch On July 8, 2011 @ 11:55 am I’ll provide the tube to you and AL if you guys head up to put lipstick on that pig…….pick any you want, but I think Jeff Sessions needs a little extra help these days……. » Posted By AlphaBitch On July 8, 2011 @ 11:46 am Hey CL: Well, I was very angry that a stupid head councilman decided to “kill” the Department of Arts in the city where I worked. Lyle came to play; several of my friends were in his band. I asked them to ask Lyle to speak up from the stage – to remind people of the importance of the arts, and to ask them to call this councilman and let their voices be heard. I entrusted my best friend with a packet of information – including an article that had appeared in the NYT about this stupid head councilperson so that Lyle could be well informed. Show came. Show went. Lyle mentioned “this is a beautiful theater; we should all appreciate the arts” or something as non-descript. I was in a foul mood to begin with; several tumblers (!) of tequila later, I seemed to digress into an even worse mood. Apres show, I was hangin’ with bandmates/friends when Lyle appeared. As he walked up, I said “My God! I am SO disappointed in you.” At that point, my BF replied “No – I forgot to give him the packet you gave me to bring him up to speed, so he knew nothing about it.” Lyle truly is a gentleman of the nth degree. He came and sat by me and we talked for quite a while, but I also let him know that he was “too teutonic” to play bluegrass. He never let his (self-described) idols have a chance to really play, but controlled every break and only allowed very tiny ones because it WAS the Lyle Lovett show. I”m not sure whether I just loved the alliteration, or if I meant to say that I thought Germans can be a bit controlling. I still believe that bluegrass is best played when an artist can show their chops. Like Lyle, some of these guys were my friends and idols, too and a small “break” by the two he said had inspired him would hardly have ruined the show. Instead, he introduced them as his sidemen AFTER going on and on and on about how great they were, how they inspired him to become a musician, etc. I did call and apologize the next day, and took myself off alcohol for years. But I stand by the criticism, as it was valid. The problem was – he had not asked me for my advice OR opinion. The Blov schooled me on how important it is to be ASKED first. I later had cards made up that read: Alpha Bitch (using my real name) – Consultant. The name of the “business”? JUST ASK ME. » Posted By AlphaBitch On July 6, 2011 @ 3:18 pm Smooth cool, BSM! I’ve been – as my daddy said – the south end of a north bound horse many times myself. Live and learn, live and let live. C’est la vie……… (I once got really, really drunk and tore into Lyle Lovett! mercilessly…..I made myself go sober for three years, with nary a drop. I learned to hold my tongue, but sadly, not my liquor.) » Posted By AlphaBitch On July 6, 2011 @ 2:47 pm I keep praying Oprah will run as VP. Imagine how insane the TPers will be if TWO black skinned people are in the White House! Can we start the rumor, if only to drive the crazy MORE crazy??????? Puh-leeeeeeeeezzzzz? I’m scared Rick Perry and Michelle Bachman will be the counterweights…or counterwhites, as the case may be…… » Posted By AlphaBitch On July 6, 2011 @ 2:41 pm Khirad: Call 1-800-YOURDNA. I need proof he ISN’T your son!! Maybe – like my “kids” – he’s your “child of choice”. Claim ’em if you got ’em. » Posted By AlphaBitch On July 1, 2011 @ 12:08 pm TAKE ACTION: Support MN Gov. Dayton in Gov’t Shutdown Over Taxing the Rich CL: Which is why Rick Scott is no longer so popular, no?? » Posted By AlphaBitch On July 1, 2011 @ 3:05 pm Sing it, sister! I wrote him that in Texas we have a Governor with good hair – all hair and no brains. In MN, they have a Governor with a spine AND brains – they win! » Posted By AlphaBitch On July 1, 2011 @ 2:01 pm AdLib: done. » Posted By AlphaBitch On July 1, 2011 @ 12:21 pm Is All That Anger Out There Making You Mad? AdLib: This one’s for you – James 2:2-7 “For if a man with gold rings and in fine clothing comes into your assembly, and a poor man in shabby clothes also comes in, and you pay attention to the one who wears the fine clothing and say ‘Have a seat here, please’, while you say to the poor man ‘Stand there,’, or ‘Sit at my feet’, have you not made distinctions among yourselves, and become judges with evil thoughts? Listen, my beloved brethren. Has not God chosen those who are poor in the world to be rich in faith and heirs to the kingdom which he has promised to those who love him? But you have dishonored the poor man. Is it not the rich who oppress you, is it not they who drag you into court? Is it not they who blaspheme that honorable name by which you are called?” And when they want to do those loud, scary group prayers and “pah-raise Jeesus”, I just say “Oh! Sorry. No can do.” When they ask why, thinking I am a child of the devil, I just quote them Matthew 6:6 – “But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” It works, truly it does. I actually kind of like thumping the Bible right back at ’em. I’m a contentious little Bitch. But I know my scripture, and I know what is right. And I “don’t back down”…… » Posted By AlphaBitch On July 1, 2011 @ 7:47 pm CL: how about the passage from James 2:14 – 17 – “What does it profit, my brethren, if a man says he has faith but has not works? Can his faith save him? If a brother or sister is ill-clad and in lack of daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled” without giving them the things needed for the body, what does it profit? So faith by itself, if it has no works, is dead.” And therein lies the difference between James, who has been called the brother of Jesus, and Paul, who never met nor studied under Jesus while he was alive. James is my favorite book of the Bible. It’s a wonder it made it into the Bible, and no wonder at all that Talibangelicals fail to quote from it. » Posted By AlphaBitch On July 1, 2011 @ 3:17 pm AdLib: I’ll see you a Wilbury (I am STILL a huge fan of Roy, or who I refer to as “The Big O”), and raise you a Dixie Chick. Natalie Maines is from Texas. “Natalie speaks for me” is the tee shirt I still want… P.S. I dedicate this song to kesmarn and choice lady.
» Posted By AlphaBitch On July 1, 2011 @ 11:48 amComments Posted By AlphaBitch
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