I was not born like you. Sure, being left-handed was still misunderstood, but I was a good white boy in a protestant Christian pre-school. Little Lamb Pre-School, in Washougal, Washington [the state]. I don’t have any tales of abuse [from them].
But I still remember being shy and wanting to play by myself. I still remember saying my favorite color other than black, silver and blue, was clear. I’m sorry, but I remember this. I remember our favorite animals. I was quiet, so when they asked me to mimic an animal, I said nothing. Kurt, you have to say an animal. ‘I’m a giraffe’. I don’t know how I knew that, but I’m not making this up, they aren’t mute, but they’re mostly quiet.
I remember Second Grade and they would always have to send me up to third grade because I could read past the other four classes in my grade. And yet, I was still taking speech classes. I could sorta hear, I could read, but I couldn’t even say my own name. I would always screw up directions.
I shined in drama as a pancake, and reading; but they would sit us down for math. Simple arithmetic. 2+2. We would go around the circle, and when it came to me, even if I did know it, I would freeze. My brain just shuts down. I knew the answer, but ask me what a story meant, I got that. My mind goes so many ways, that, I knew four was the answer, but why is four the answer?
I know that sounds stupid, but – I wasn’t a maths genius, but – put me on the spot for any rote memorization? Yeah, me and um, rote memorization and um… my point here is ADD had you not caught it yet. I kind of want to go into grade 3-5, because I got by, because I’m smart. If you know that my parents were teachers and think I had them help me? They would have, if I asked. I knew the system was fucked early on for someone with ADD. Even my parents didn’t know, because I got by, being smart and knowing stuff.
I’ll explain the Depression and Anxiety later. And why I HATE how ADD is associated with hyperactivity, and not treated as something deeper. Next chapter, Junior High.