Am I the only one who feels lost at this time of year?
I never used to feel this way because it was always all about my kids, Santa Claus, warm & fuzzy feelings, and giving myself 110%; trying to make everything “perfect” — whatever “perfect” is. I relish the days when my girls were younger, when they believed in Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and thought I was the greatest thing since sliced bread. Such innocence, such wonder, such love, such belief in the world (and me, their mom) surrounding them.
Was I at fault for letting them be kids? Was I at fault for trying to protect them from the evil realities of the world? Was I at fault for NOT pushing them to fill in MY blanks — MY missed opportunities — MY Ego?
In a perfect world, I would like to think that I did not/have not. Yet, I realize my perception of the way I attempted to raise my daughters is totally different from theirs. On the other hand, I do know that what I tried to do (whether they acknowledge it or not) for both of them was the absolute opposite of what my parents did. On one hand, I tried to protect them; on the other, I wanted them to enjoy being kids, enjoying life; something I was denied…over and over big time!
It’s extremely sad when grown ups want to make up for lost time and unfulfilled childhoods. It puts so much pressure on the little ones AND the big ones. If only we could celebrate (religiously or otherwise) this time between Thanksgiving and the New Year with no animosity, jealousy, or feelings of rejection.
We’re all in this together. We’re all in the same boat. Seriously, we’re at a point where we must rely on each other. If we do not? Many of us will be floating with nothing to keep us above water, no life ring, no life boat, nothing to rescue us from the frigid realities of a cold, cold world. If we don’t reach out to our children and each other, who will? I don’t know about you, but my list is extremely short.