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AdLib On November - 23 - 2011

With Thanksgiving tomorrow, PlanetPOV reached out in a show of holiday spirit to prominent Republicans to ask them what they’re thankful for. Once explaining the concept of being “thankful” through the use of instructional videos, diagrams and action figures, they shared the following responses with us:

 

NEWT GINGRICH

“I’m thankful for having an American workforce that is brimming with energy and optimism and has yet to have its potential tapped. But getting rid of child labor laws should solve that. I’m thankful for sexual harassment claims, Tiffany credit accounts, short term memories and no fault divorce.”

 

HERMAN CAIN

“I’m thankful to be able to count to 9, that there’s a he-said for every she-said, Books on Tape, the decline of public education and the related increase in support for my campaign.”

 

 

MITT ROMNEY

“I’m thankful for the availability of abortion and the restriction of it, universal healthcare and the uninsured, reducing Climate Change and disputing it, cats being better than dogs and dogs being better than cats. Most of all, I’m thankful for Flip Wilson, the Flip camera, the belly flop, flop sweat and the old tv series, Flipper.”

 

MICHELE BACHMANN

“I am so thankful for electroshock therapy, frequent supportive Tweets from God, staring contests, loose screws, racist old white men, big corn dogs, my husband’s passion for Broadway shows and big corn dogs and the sign in my office, “You don’t have to be crazy to work here…but it helps”.

 

RICK PERRY

“I’m thankful for three things, oil, the book “Presidential Campaigns for Dummies” and…hold on…I’ll remember…I…just can’t think of it right now…it’s not the EPA…oops!”

 

 

 

RON PAUL

“I am thankful for tin foil, my Ayn Rand inflatable doll with Atlas Shrugging action, single serving butter, Ebenezer Scrooge and The Grinch, desert islands, sports that don’t involve teams and most of all, sex with someone I love…me.”

 

 

RICK SANTORUM

“I’m thankful for Google searches, dogs as man’s best friend, Jesus’ hatred of so many people and things, the flammable nature of crosses and 2% support being enough to be in debates with people who have a real chance of winning the nomination.”

 

 

SARAH PALIN

“I am just so thankful for gunpowder, slander, the fantasizing and repressed sexuality of unattractive conservative white men, dropping “g”s at the ends of words, people who believe what I say, the Lamestream Media. low IQs and bats in belfries.

 

 

RUSH LIMBAUGH

“What I’m thankful for is Americans suffering, being white while blacks stay black, double stuff Oreos, prescription refills, John Wilkes Booth, eating a hot dog in one bite and resembling a legendary movie star, Jabba the Hut.”

 

JOHN BOEHNER

“I am very thankful for Kleenex, spankings, intestinal blockages, stop signs, types of governments that begin with “Pluto”, lap dogs and puppets.”

 

 

From all of the Republicans to all of the 1%, a very Happy Thanksgiving!

Written by AdLib

My motto is, "It is better to have blogged and lost hours of your day, than never to have blogged at all."

78 Responses so far.

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  1. Chernynkaya says:

    Apropos of what they are thankful for, Iowa Democratic Party Releases Romney’s Thanksgiving Menu:
    ” width=”550″ alt=”img” />
    “Everything is served two ways!”

    http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/updates/2109

    • Chernynkaya says:

      Know what is NOT on the menu? Butterball Terrorist turkeys!

      Boycott Butterball, Pam Geller wrote, because:

      Turkeys that are halal certified — who wants that, especially on a day on which we are giving thanks to G-d for our freedom?

      I’d like to serve her a huge helping of Islamophobe turkey smothered in food-product pepper spray with some castor beans, peach pits, and some mustard gas condiment on the side.
      [img][/img]

      • coveark says:

        OMG……..more hilarity !!!

      • bito says:

        Why no mention of Kosher turkeys, they are slaughtered basically the same way?

        Oh, it’s not about the turkeys, it’s about those Moooslims.

        She is a piece of …”work.”

      • AdLib says:

        Geller, instead of a Butterball, can get stuffed.

        BTW, very funny graphic. I’m loving all the graphic parodies connected to Pike’s pepper spraying!

      • Khirad says:

        Now, assuming Geller’s right about Butterball turkeys being halal, you might think that in a capitalist economy, halal turkeys are a sign of meat sellers responding to market demand for food prepared a certain way. You might even be tempted to observe that Muslim Americans marking a secular, American holiday celebrating pluralism and freedom from religious persecution might be a sign of the extent to which American Muslims have assimilated into American culture. What you didn’t know was that when markets respond to the demands of Muslim consumers, freedom dies.

      • Khirad says:

        I hate that crazy bitch so much… I’ll leave it at that.

        • Chernynkaya says:

          Perfect, Khirad! Now here’s where I go on a mini rant in support of OWS. Things like this, and not just the fact that some lone idiot says this crap--that they are given media attention and that the whole GOP presidential debate is sickening and that the media takes any of their craven ideas seriously--in short the entire “Shit is fucked up and bullshit” situation we are in; well this all makes me want to inarticulately take to the streets and scream while tearing out my hair!

          That’s why, even though it is not necessarily logistically or politically effective, I support the movement! I agree with others that it’s not nearly enough to effect change, but GODDAMMIT, enough of this is enough!

          Step one: Take to the streets and cry out against all the hundred of major problems--if not thousands of crises! Steps 2-10 will follow.

          This is all so fucked up.

    • KQuark says:

      😆 pancakes, flap jacks, waffles or at least hocakes have to be on that menu though.

    • AdLib says:

      Very funny, good work by IA Dems!

  2. Chernynkaya says:

    I’M thankful for that good laugh, AdLib!


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