• Facebook
  • Twitter
AdLib On October - 31 - 2010

A happy Halloween from The Planet to all of our members and readers! In celebration of this Hallow’s Eve, a little treat (or trick, depending on your POV) for you:

The Craven (with apologies to Edgar Allan Poe)

Once upon a midday dreary, while I Tivoed, tweaked and bleary,
Over many a quaint and curious newscast of political war,
While I bought it, nearly lapping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of someone gently rapping, rapping at my condo door.
” ‘Tis some Marxist,” I muttered, “tapping at my condo door;
Only this, and nothing more.”

Presently my fear grew stronger; I had wet my Barcolounger,
“Witch,” said I, “or black man , truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is, I was wacking, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my condo door,
That I’m scared was sure, I fear you.” Here I opened wide the door;—
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into the darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortals ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word,
“Ignore”, This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word,
“Ignore!” Merely this, and nothing more.

Back into the condo turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping, something louder than before,
“Surely,” said I, “surely, that is some gay wanting in my mattress.
Let me see, then, what threat is, and this mystery explore.
Let my heart be still a moment, and this mystery explore.
” ‘Tis the wind, and nothing more.”

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a glare and mutter,
In there stepped a stately Muslim, of the Arab days of yore.
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But with mien of lord or lady, leaned beside my condo door.
Leaned beside a bust of Palin, just beside my condo door,
Leaned, then sat, and nothing more.

Then this Boehner-toned man beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
“Though thy head be shorn and shaven now,” I said, “art sure no Bagger,
Ghastly, grim, and ancient Muslim, wandering from the corner store.
Tell me who the terror group is in your nice Arabian store.”
Quoth the Muslim, “Just ignore.”

Thus I sat engaged in terror, with no Life Alert an error
To the fiend, whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom’s core;
This and more I sat divining, without my best teabags (Twinings),
On the Deere cap’s velvet lining that the lamplight gloated o’er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamplight gloating o’er
He shall press, ah, just ignore!

“Heathen!” said I, “thing of evil–bomber still, if man or devil!
By that heaven that bends above us–by that God we both adore–
Tell this soul with racist-like views, if, within the latest Fox News,
I shall hear an insane attack , which you tell me to ignore—
I’m a scared and gullible cretin, whom you’ve told to fear no more?
Quoth the Muslim, “Just ignore.”

“Be those words our sign of parting, man or fiend!” I shrieked, upstarting–
“Get thee back into the tempest and the nice Arabian store!
Leave no reason as a token of that lie my Beck hath spoken!
Leave my mindlessness unbroken! — quit the bust beside my door!
Take thy sense from out my heart, and take thy form from near my door!”
Quoth the Muslim, “Just ignore.”

And the Muslim, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
Near the pallid bust of Palin just beside my condo door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a Muslim’s that is dreaming.
And the lamplight o’er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my mind from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be enlightened? Nah, just ignore!


Categories: Featured, Humor, PlanetPOV

Written by AdLib

My motto is, "It is better to have blogged and lost hours of your day, than never to have blogged at all."

25 Responses so far.

Click here to leave a comment
  1. whatsthatsound says:

    How Poe-tic, of you!
    Delightfully creepy and funny at the same time.

Leave your Comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Back to top
PlanetPOV Tweets
Ongoing Stories