Displaying 0 To 0 Of 0 Comments sally, thank you for writing your story. i don’t visit this site often but felt the need to comment on this post, and express my appreciation. although i had a wonderful childhood, one of the few things in life my parents never prepared me for was the extremely abusive marriage i had. i think of it as never preparing me for an “ugly life.” i guess since it wasn’t part of our paradigm, it was so far off the radar that they never thought it would happen to me, or that i would be left to fend for myself if it did happen. it lasted for many years, and when i finally recently escaped, i wasn’t prepared for all the things that came rushing to the surface. there are some hurts that go too deep, for which one never finds words, and sometimes doesn’t even want to. that’s where i find myself. even though i know only my abuser was responsible for the abuse, i still wonder what is wrong with me that i fell for the facade my abuser presented to me, how it was that i didn’t see it. my father died when i was a teenager, and i never told my mother, because her health was so fragile, and i didn’t want to worry her. the only person i had left that i should have been able to turn to was my older brother, who turned his back on me. he salved his conscience by offering me “help” that came with such a terrible price, he knew i would never accept it, and he left me to my fate. every day is a struggle, and my heart goes out to your husband. he’s very, very lucky he found you, and i hope you both make many happy memories together. reading this brought tears. » Posted By peacekitten On November 21, 2011 @ 11:16 am You know what I SEE? The usurpation of democracy.. » Posted By peacekitten On July 4, 2011 @ 7:15 pm i didn’t say they were targeted for incivility. i didn’t consider them uncivil in the slightest, although especially grayson was often quite colorful in his responses. nothing he ever said was undeserved however. as i said, my standards are the founders themselves. with notable exceptions, bernie sanders being one of them, i find very few in modern politics worthy of much respect, if any. my goals are always intact, no matter what baggers say or do. speaking the truth is not incivility. if someone lies, they need to be called a liar. that’s not incivility, it’s a statement of fact. if they commit an act of treason such as what eric cantor did by publicly stating, as a member of congress, that he would place the interests of another nation AHEAD of this one on the floor of our congress in his votes, they need to be called the traitors that they are. again, not an ad hominem, but a statement of fact. but saying these things gets those who actually articulate them called all kinds of names, complete with threats. when i lived in indiana, i was literally stalked, harassed and even warned for my life when i went to the press about what the local republican machine had done to me for committing the sin of putting a sign supporting democratic candidates in front of my own front porch. the response to this was a truck IN MY FRONT YARD plastering the property line of my house with republican signs, to the point i couldn’t even see out of my own driveway. when i told them to stop putting up those signs, and get away from my property, i was THREATENED with bodily harm! even the police called to the scene threatened to arrest ME for “interfering with their first amendment rights.” over the next few days, some of the rank and file officers were some of those continuing to harass me. it didn’t stop until i went to the press, the police chief, and the local republican party chairman and told him in no uncertain terms that we were going to court and i was going to OWN his behind. his goons had been sitting outside my house spying on me for over a week, until i marched up to them with a HUGE flashlight that i shined in their eyes and told them to get out of my front yard. they drove away shouting obscenities at me. the reporter i called about this told me to be careful because i “had no idea who i was dealing with, and that these people were dangerous.” “civility” was something these people clearly did not understand, and i had no obligation to be such with them. it took clear, unmistakable statements in terms they understood to get them to stop their fear campaign. defending myself and my home by any means necessary to be effective may not have been civil, but it accomplished the purpose. my goals were not damaged, in fact they were actually furthered by the fact that i fought back in terms they understood, and there was tangible evidence of that, because the republican party wound up being disciplined by local law enforcement with regards to the signs they were allowed to place and where. some people call this “incivility.” i think of it more as “tough love,” otherwise they will never learn. » Posted By peacekitten On July 4, 2011 @ 5:58 pm please don’t forget that things that are now complicating this struggle for our soul as a nation are things like elections that we can no longer trust the results of (remember one of the first things that happened under the bush administration was the dissolution of voter news service, the tradition conductor of ‘exit polls’), the dangerous consolidation of the media combined with an utterly spineless “justice” department, a decaying educational system, exploding poverty, the list is endless. i don’t advocating killing anyone. i’m the last person on EARTH who would do that in anything but a figure of speech. but you are right. they WOULD do that to us, and with great glee. this is disturbing because it goes beyond mere disagreement to the level of genuine mental illness. it is the behavior of psychopaths. we have to remember it is simply not possible to have a rational conversation with irrational people, which is essentially what we are facing. we have to remember that while we on the left would acknowledge that they have every right to be crazy, we must also acknowledge that they are working actively to TAKE that right AWAY from us. we are not playing by the rules they are, and we must adjust our set of rules to effectively defend against what the right is doing. speaking the truth with force, refusing to sugarcoat it, making it known that the deliberate infliction of pain and suffering will not be tolerated in any manner, and that those who seek to destroy from within our government and civilisation, is not being uncivil. we have to bring back the concept of public shame, the recent lack thereof being one reason why the question of civility is so frustrating. without the ability to feel shame, which the right seems to lack, the only way that the “other side” can be brought to heel, i.e. operate within the bounds of functioning civility, is to meet them head on when necessary. » Posted By peacekitten On July 4, 2011 @ 3:15 pm please forgive me, but sometimes it is important to not just point out the facts of the matter, but to do it in a manner and language that the person you wish to educate can and will understand. those who have become accustomed to being bullies, as many on the right have, will only learn the hard way. which is to say, hoist them on their own petard and *leave them there.* it’s my opinion that the two sides of the political spectrum have become locked in a “co-dependent” style of relationship that will only be broken by making them live the consequences of their beliefs. the reason that voices like that of alan grayson, russ feingold and even anthony weiner were silenced was precisely because they did call the bluff of “the other side,” and they did so in a strident, forceful manner which brought a lot people to rally behind them. all of them ended up being -deliberate- targets of the right precisely because they spoke the truth in a manner people not only understood, but approved of. the double standards of the situation could really not be more stark. the only way to stop it is to get enough people to put their foot down, forcefully, on the side of the truth. our founders, some of the most eloquent and thoughtful people ever to write about the way in which the human race should conduct itself, were not afraid to roll up their sleeves and fight fire with fire. they may have found it distasteful, but recognized the practicality of it and the necessity for it, in order to return to the civility they longed for. i do not consider that an uncivil stance. » Posted By peacekitten On July 4, 2011 @ 2:58 pm Nature of debate, Goodbye Christopher Hitchens hi keven, please pardon me for my opinion that a photo of christopher hitchens is most often found next to the phrase “pompous gasbag.” one thing i have come to in myself is that i simply cannot and will not tolerate people who spew things that are obviously stupid, willfully so, grounded in nothing that resembles logic or facts. because of this intellectual dishonesty, i feel absolutely no obligation to give their “opinion” any resemblance of respect whatsoever. people are entitled to their opinions, but they are not entitled to their own set of facts. political debate in america is as endangered a species as a brain cell in christine o’donnell’s head. » Posted By peacekitten On September 15, 2010 @ 10:59 pm the loss of our dear friend carl is something that just goes to prove my “cockroach theory.” we always lose the ones we wish would live forever, and the ones that just won’t die and should, stick around around forever. i realize that sounds horrible, but i’m sure many here know exactly what i mean. the “prick cheneys” of the world seem to be in endless supply and of unlimited life span, while those who work so hard to do good in the world, leave us much too soon. perhaps it is because those like carl have hearts to break, and the others do not. he was not only a friend to humans in need, but he and i shared an uncommon love for animals, something that seemed to draw us together from the first time we noticed one another on the threads. carl lived in palm springs, if memory serves, and he worked tirelessly for his furry friends as well. he supported great causes like “dogtown” at best friends animal sanctuary in utah, and perhaps if we can’t find another way to honor him, a donation there would be fitting. he loved cats too, really all animals, like me, and he gave of himself to them as much as he did anyone else. as i am sure carl knew, there is no greater honor in the world than to see unconditional love and devotion in the eyes of a pure, innocent soul looking back at you. “to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived, that is success.” carl, you led a very successful life. you will be greatly missed. » Posted By peacekitten On May 27, 2010 @ 7:15 am this was really an excellent article, khirad. thank you for writing it. i really wish more people would take the time to learn about the history of the middle east, but sadly enough, too many americans don’t even known their OWN history well enough to understand it. i find that very sad. » Posted By peacekitten On December 29, 2009 @ 8:01 pm Hi Sue. interestingly enough, classically trained musicians must demonstrate mastery of at least one other language at the graduate level, and one at the doctoral level of performance. if you are going into music history at the doctoral level, you must master two other languages. what’s more, you’re tested on reading comprehension, pronunciation and conversation. among classical musicians, it’s a badge of honor to master some of the more difficult slavic languages. my french is rusty, but considering i will soon be working at the doctoral level, i have to fix that quick! and many years of study in latin is an excellent way to improve one’s command of english. it’s really pretty sad in this country that the mastery of another language is not required in public education. i have had cab drivers in paris that spoke seven different languages fluently. we really should be embarrassed about that. » Posted By peacekitten On December 29, 2009 @ 7:33 pm cher, as you may or may not know, my much beloved BlueStateMan is jewish. i was brought up church of england, but not hard core by any means. most importantly, i was brought up in a house that was completely color blind. and when i first met BSM, it never even occurred to me that he was anything other than someone i loved very much. i had always loved christmas not for any other reason than it seemed to be a time people drew together. i loved putting up a beautiful tree, with glass ornaments collected over a lifetime. but i have not done that for many years now, because of a disastrous marriage that scarred my life for far too long. i hope to be able to put up a tree again when we have the room, but not for any kind of religious observance. one of the most enjoyable christmases i ever had was when i was in graduate school, and having a living room (literally 20 people) over for christmas dinner. almost all of them were jewish, some orthodox greek, whose family wasn’t here, and would have been alone. i cooked a traditional dinner, but everyone was encouraged to bring something from their own traditions if they wanted. to me, all i could see was a room full of friends, fellow musicians who laughed and sang, ate and drank, and had a good time. the companionship made it one of the best holidays i’ve ever had. i just wish we could all remember more often that the silly, manmade, arbitrary and capricious things that divide us are not nearly so important as the things we have in common. btw, i would have PAID to see that picture of the cat in a yamulke with tree ornaments! » Posted By peacekitten On December 25, 2009 @ 5:21 pm scher, feel sorry for people like dwayne, because honestly, they are oblivious to what it means to be a true human being. they exist, they breathe, they make life miserable for people around them, and they are made of nothing but hate. what they will never admit is that most of that hate is for themselves, first and foremost. a person with self respect simply doesn’t behave that way. don’t lose any sleep over him. the only one who can ever change him is himself. perhaps one day when enough people around him continue to let him know how wrong he is, he will wake up. in the meantime, don’t let him change you. » Posted By peacekitten On December 25, 2009 @ 5:04 pm my friend, so good to see you! i hope you are well, and plan to find out for myself later today…… your wonderful, incisive wit is such a gift to us all. not to mention your good heart. thanks for a great post. we’ll talk soon………. » Posted By peacekitten On December 25, 2009 @ 2:21 pm you are most welcome, my friend. it sounds as if your sister is at least going in the right direction, and that’s a good sign. please, keep us posted on how she is doing. a pianist? i am a flutist, hoping to soon get started on a doctorate in music. i love chopin, and have some recordings you might enjoy. they are of his piano concertos, recorded on an authentic instrument of the time that was completely restored, performed by emmanuel ax and the orchestra of the enlightenment. it’s all on period instruments, and so beautifully played! i am glad to know your name too. it’s funny how much and how close you can get to someone when you haven’t even met them. i think it’s great to be able to expand one’s base of friends this way, and i’m glad to have gotten to know you and a lot of wonderful people this way. » Posted By peacekitten On December 26, 2009 @ 1:06 pm you are very kind, my friend. it was one of the hardest things i’ve ever done. i was truly convinced there was just no place for someone like me in this world, and glad my parents were long gone so they didn’t have to see it. somehow i think they did anyway. now my biggest hope is to “pay it forward” and do for someone else what was done for me. » Posted By peacekitten On December 26, 2009 @ 12:57 pm you are much too kind. it’s still a struggle against the regrets, the fact that before i left, i couldn’t save some of my animals from him is a knife in my heart i don’t think will ever go away. the depression and fear were just too much at the time. i hope someday they will forgive me, perhaps when i see them again someday. but i know i have not survived this far in life for no reason. i still have the animals i was able to save, and i am finally looking to the future with hope. a chance to reinvent myself, built on a hard-won wisdom, is a gift i don’t intend to squander. if i can help someone else even in a small way, that too, is a gift for which i am grateful. » Posted By peacekitten On December 26, 2009 @ 12:43 pm wise words, my friend. thank you. » Posted By peacekitten On December 26, 2009 @ 12:33 pm ah, my friend, we artists are the guardians of our culture, its messengers and its keepers. i am a classically trained musician, and hopefully, a budding writer. please don’t give up or think of yourself as an anachronism. we are needed now more than ever. we have the most important job of all, keeping what it is to be human alive. as dark as this seems, it is only temporary. please, please, please believe that. don’t make the mistake i almost did of finding a permanent solution to something that will not be your life forever. you will get through this, and there are a lot of willing hands reaching out to you here. grab them and hang on, please. » Posted By peacekitten On December 26, 2009 @ 12:32 pm you are much too kind, my friend. i seem to remember that your sister has been moved from ICU, and if that is the case, i am most pleased. i hope you know that BlueStateMan and myself are sending you and your family all good wishes and hope for her recovery. i think you are right, our suffering does make us better people mainly because it brings us to understanding. it is not a trite sentiment at all because it is true. it’s not so much what happens to us in life as it is what we do with it. we are given a chance to see what we are really made of. some people unfortunately turn to bitterness, but that is no way to live. the reason i chose the image i did to go with this piece is because a deeply loving heart is often inescapably, a bruised and broken one as well. i am trying to think of that condition as being “well-used” but in a good way. love to you as well, my friend. Debra » Posted By peacekitten On December 26, 2009 @ 12:24 pm btw, my friend, i was remiss in not telling you how very pleased i am that you are home with your family and i hope, doing better. your wife sounds like a wonderful woman, and it is good you have each other. when i was growing up, somehow my dad seemed to wind up in the hospital at christmas more often than not, and it just became part of the paradigm. but he always came home at that time of year too, so something in the universe was watching out for him and a little girl waiting for her daddy. much love to you, my friend, and warmest wishes for a better new year. » Posted By peacekitten On December 26, 2009 @ 12:13 pm you are very kind, my friend. » Posted By peacekitten On December 25, 2009 @ 2:27 pm been here all too rarely, and plan to make more of a habit of it. it’s a great place! » Posted By peacekitten On December 25, 2009 @ 2:16 pm TRP, i completely understand, more than you know. two years ago, i was exactly where you are, having made a weird kind of peace with the idea of not living any more. but from somewhere, i don’t know where, i found a last little bit of determination, packed up a truck and loaded all my animals in it and drove across the country for four straight days over mountains and through ice storms to someone i’d never met. my family, with the exception of a brother in ill health, is all dead (they died when i was young), so i asked everyone i could think of, including total strangers for help to get the means to do it, and somehow, it came together. i did it to escape a marriage to someone who’d been abusing me for seventeen years, had broken bones many times, put me in the hospital so many times i lost count, and finally nearly succeeded in strangling me to death. he had even turned his rage against some of my pets in ways that hurt so much i cannot even vocalize them years later. it was a life i had no reference for, because i had been blessed with the best parents i can imagine. i tell you this not because i want you to be sorry for me, because you shouldn’t. i tell you this because i want so much for you to know that there IS something waiting for you on the other side of your pain, and it is worth you hanging on for. it won’t be easy, and it will take time and effort, but YOU are worth it. you are NOT alone, because even though you may not have met us, we are thinking of you. stay strong. even a swan who looks so serene on the surface, is actually paddling like hell underneath. and believe it or not, when you put the pieces of your heart back together, you just may find it’s bigger than it used to be. peace, my friend, today and every day. » Posted By peacekitten On December 25, 2009 @ 2:14 pm thank you for those quotes. the one from bentham is one of my favorites. thank you for the tozer, i had not heard of him before. but it is absolutely correct. i hope you have a happy holiday today, and that every day is good for you. thanks for reading this post. it’s a topic that means a great deal to me. » Posted By peacekitten On December 25, 2009 @ 2:01 pm you are absolutely spot on. we have only begun to change the fabric of our society. it is so very fragile right now, but we cannot give up. we mustn’t ever give up. it isn’t even a question of “winning” so much as it a question of right and wrong, choosing mercy and compassion over a hard and cold heart. i’ll admit, i like to go shopping as much as the next woman (shoes!) but i haven’t been in a position to do that for a long time. and now, i look at some of the really expensive things i used to buy TONS of, and all i can think is that i could use that money better to help someone else, either four or two footed. perhaps i have grown up. i’d like to think i have. and you are right, it is our responsibility now. it is one we should be more than happy to take on, because its benefits are beyond measure. » Posted By peacekitten On December 25, 2009 @ 1:59 pm i am honored for you to cosign, my friend. » Posted By peacekitten On December 25, 2009 @ 1:53 pm so very, very true my friend. » Posted By peacekitten On December 25, 2009 @ 1:52 pm that doesn’t mean we can’t live a life striving for kindness ourselves. we cannot give in to those who make the lives of others miserable. » Posted By peacekitten On December 24, 2009 @ 7:02 pm we have to get the blue dogs out from the primary level. it is the best way to pull the congress far enough left to start doing things to help people LIVE instead of spending money without end to make sure they die after living a harsh life. something else that i noticed was missing from the news is that the FBI announced that for 2009, the murder rate in the united states dropped 10% from the year before. violence is never an answer, and i hope that the national level of anger about the wrong things will drop. » Posted By peacekitten On December 24, 2009 @ 7:00 pm thank you for your warm welcome, my friend. and happy holidays to you. i have found that when i have anything important to say, this is the place to do it. » Posted By peacekitten On December 24, 2009 @ 6:56 pm and to you, my friend. thanks for reading it. » Posted By peacekitten On December 24, 2009 @ 6:42 pmComments Posted By peacekitten
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