Where the dogs go on with their doggy life and the torturer’s horse
Scratches its innocent behind on a tree.
- Auden

St Francis of Assissi had, to be sure, an odd relationship with his body. As a strict ascetic, he considered it of utmost importance not to give in to its cravings for pleasure and leisure. He dubbed his own body “brother ass” and felt that it should be treated as any other domestic beast of the time. Beaten when in need of discipline, and given only coarse food upon which to subsist. He was known to curb his temptations by hurling his body into snow, or even on one occasion a briar patch which he tossed himself about in until his flesh was ripped and bleeding. However, by the time of his death, the great man had reconsidered his ill treatment of his body – his earthly vehicle – and asked the Lord to pardon him for having treated Brother Ass so cruelly. He realized that he had been indulging a fascination; an attempt to conquer that which his Creator had given him. Finally, it seems, that he who loved life and all its manifestations, had finally learned to love, or at least honor, his own organism.

Although many may feel that Francis’ relationship to his body was downright bizarre, I think it is difficult to escape the conclusion that we, in our modern age, relate to our own bodies in even more dysfunctional ways, or at least are encouraged to. We obsess over its skin layer, its most superficial aspect. Say the word “body” to a teenage male, and no doubt the image that will result is a female with Playboy-approved proportions. Or perhaps his own body, “ripped” and sculpted. It is doubtful that he will think of the intricate, mechanical wonder he inhabits, the magnificence that goes far beyond the skin layer. I’m reminded of a scuba diver, who, seated next to a friend who looked out at the ocean at sunrise and remarked at how beautiful it was, replied, “yes, and that’s only the roof!”

We indulge our bodies in exactly the way that St. Francis frowned upon, as we load up on ice cream, tortilla chips, cola, coffee and red wine. We then scan it for signs of resultant flab, and hold it up for critique alongside the impossible ideals that mass media relentlessly parades before our eyes. In magazine articles and website pages we are asked to consider which Hollywood hunk or starlet has “the best body”, when presumably the correct answer should be the one that functions best – the one that digests, eliminates, breathes, repairs, etc. most efficiently.

No greater indication of our dysfunctional relationship to our bodies can there be than the fact that we have created a trillion dollar industry that has as its sole purpose the manufacture of machines and devices that destroy and disfigure it by the millions. Our so-callled “defense industry” would perhaps be looked upon less favorably by its supporters if it were referred to, more honestly, as “the body destroying industry”. Although it has numerous competitors, perhaps the most atrocious and obscene example of this in all our sad history was the Treblinka II Death Camp in Nazi Germany. This was the Industrial Revolution meets Dante’s Inferno. For the first and only time in history an actual factory was built, with train lines leading up to it, that served no purpose other than the destruction of human bodies as quickly and “efficiently” as possible. People were carted in by the train car-load, and few lived more than 24 hours after arriving.

And these bodies that we waste and destroy so casually are near miraculous machines that are far beyond the capabilities of our greatest scientific geniuses to create or even imitate. Each cell, when it is first birthed in us, is like any other cell in our bodies, yet each knows how to evolve through exactly the right iterations so that it becomes part of our hair, our eyes, our lungs, our genitals, etc. How do the cells do this? Nobody knows, but it is likely the answer will someday be found in the portion of our DNA that biologists have lovingly referred to as “junk”.

We punish bodies mercilessly, and yet throughout the history of our species they have never sinned in any way. They serve us faithfully to the fullest extent they are capable at any given moment, until they can no longer. When they long for sleep we deprive them of it. When they need healthy natural food to stay strong, we insist that they make do on starchy, sugary, salty substances they have little use for. We keep them chained to chairs when they long to move about in the open air, as they were evolved to do. If we treated our pets the same way we treat our bodies we would be considered negligent, at best. And we punish bodies for the transgressions of the mind. I am opposed to the death penalty because I believe it is always a miscarriage of justice, as the body merely did what it was told, no matter how heinous the crime. To the body, slicing a cucumber or slicing into a human finger is essentially the same act, insofar as it merely follows the instructions of a healthy, or deranged, mind. An eye for an eye is thus two outrages, not one.

I am only writing to say that human bodies are innocent. We have yet, as a species, to demonstrate our worthiness to inhabit them. We should never harm them in any way.

Love At First Sight

Is there a person who hasn’t visited a zoo, or watched a documentary, and said “Oh, How adorable, how cool, how awesome…I want one!

That would be me! I love giraffes, (and I’m 5’ tall -go figure!! ) I love tigers, manatees, lions, leopards, panthers, cheetahs, jaguars, and meerkats.

Would I Really bring one home? Never. That being said- there are those who will- and do.

“Fatal Attractions” is a ‘reality‘ show based on people who do, and pay the ultimate price.

If you have an aversion to ‘reenactments’ or occasionally, actual footage that illustrates encounters by people who have forgotten, discarded or refused the Laws of Nature, this is probably one series you’ll want to avoid.

‘Lions, Tigers and Bears, Oh My’ – is just the beginning.

There is no explaining the animals people ‘adopt’. No holds are barred. If it walks,  slithers, roars, snarls, howls, growls, stings, squeezes, bites, dismembers, or decapitates- it is someone’s pet.

Here in Florida, we have a huge problem with ‘non-native’ species. People buy exotic ‘pets’ and when they outgrow the owners’ ability or capacity to contain, or feed them, they drive to the Everglades or swamp and dump them.

To really understand our problem you can refer to this website:

http://www.bornfreeusa.org/b4a2_exotic_animals_state.php?s=fl#68A-6.002

I don’t know if the heat affects people’s minds, or if they are just unwilling to develop normal relationships, but Floridians- and transplants, seem to feel that if they ‘love’ it, it will ‘love back’ no matter what the ‘nature of the beast’ actually is.

One genius even imported hissing cockroaches: one of the largest species of cockroach, reaching 2–4 inches at maturity. They are from the island of Madagascar off the African coast, where they can be found in rotting logs. They have a lifespan of 5 years in captivity. Anyone who has ever been to Florida knows there is no shortage of cockroaches, however we have politely renamed them ‘Palmetto Bugs’.

Cultures also contribute to animal issues. There is seemingly no limit to types of “religions” and ethnicities who use animals in ‘worship,’ or practices of a more sinister nature. Florida is rife with witch doctors, voodoo practitioners, snake handlers (religious and non-religious), alligator wrestlers- and other odd homosapien/animal beliefs. Carl Hiaasen has several humorous books on the subject. I highly recommend any of them.

Non-native snakes, lizards and monitors are so rampant in the Everglades they are actually affecting native wildlife- even gators! Florida Fish and Wildlife has organized groups of snake wranglers to try to get a grip on the exploding populations. Rarely a week goes by without some creepy story about a non-native animal creating havoc in a neighborhood.

Now, before you shake your head and mutter something about wierd people in Florida, just know We aren’t alone!

Fatal Attractions has chronicled people everywhere who have this skewed outlook. Probably some even live in your state- maybe your neighborhood!

For those of you who refuse to watch television, Animal Planet has conveniently placed the episodes on their website. You can watch your favorites in private, and keep the kids, (and ferrets!) from being exposed to shows they definitely should not see.

Check out: http://animal.discovery.com/videos/fatal-attractions/ (You might not want to watch them alone, however. A strange noise in the house could turn you into a quivering lump of chicken!)

“If the bee disappeared off the surface of the globe then man would only have four years of life left.”
- Einstein

My morning yesterday was like so many others, riding a crowded train out from suburban Tokyo to neighboring Yokohama for work. As usual, I would have to wait several stops before managing a seat. So as I stood in the cramped aisle in front of a row of seats and watched the scenery change, I happened to glance over at the kangaroo standing next to me. He was reading The Kangaroo News, and, since I don’t read Kangaroo, I could only get the barest notion from the photographs of what seems to be the major concerns of kangaroos these days. Some sort of major kangaroo sporting event is going on, as well as what looks to be some sort of territorial dispute in a place I assumed to be part of the Australian outback. When he noticed I was poking my nose into his newspaper, the kangaroo seemed a bit miffed, and ever so slightly folded his paper as if to demonstrate to me it was off limits. Not wanting to make a kangaroo angry, I quickly looked in the opposite direction and found something frightfully interesting about the ad for after shave lotion above the luggage rack.

I’m not quite sure which is more absurd; the scenario I just described above, or the fact that for the vast majority of human beings alive today, nothing even remotely similar will ever occur for them – an encounter with another species of animal, in both creatures’ natural environment, on equal terms. We have fashioned a world that has become so people-centric that some of us go through whole days without ever seeing another species from the animal kingdom. Those of us who don’t have pets might go a few days without even thinking about other creatures, aside from the eating of them. Many will not regard the food before them as a once living animal. Hamburgers and chicken nuggets so completely disguise the fact that This Once Breathed that it is as if food originates in supermarkets and restaurant kitchens. No other species lives like this on our planet; so isolated, so disconnected from other creatures. A hefty toll is being paid for this, I believe. In fact, I believe that one of the main reasons there is so much alienation, depression and other forms of mental illness plaguing the human species is because our relationship to our fellow creatures has become so distorted. We are a lonely species.

To see this loneliness given expression, we need only look at children’s stories and entertainment. When I was a child, my television friends were Bugs Bunny, Foghorn Leghorn, Daffy Duck, Scooby Doo and Bullwinkle. Especially Bugs. Now, Bugs is a funny fellow, as are the other characters I loved, but he’s nothing like an actual rabbit, even in appearance, is he? Why even depict him, or any cartoon character, as an animal? Why Mighty Mouse, Woody Woodpecker, Eeyore, the White Rabbit, etc.? Couldn’t they all be people? They basically are people, just ones wearing funny animal suits.

What does this tell us? That we long to reconnect to animals. We miss them, and as long as we do, we’ll insert them into our culture any way we can. On greeting cards, calendars, animated programs, children’s book illustrations, T-shirts, etc., etc. We’ll also put them in zoos, basically prisons for innocents, and go to gawk at them in an odd and wholly inappropriate gesture of reconnection. Our popular culture indicates a deep yearning within us to restore something beautiful that has been lost.

To be sure, the reasons for our isolation are clear and reasonable enough. Animals threatened us. Whether lions, tigers or bears, whether locusts, snakes or scorpions, whether disease carrying rats, flies or birds, we built our cities and homes to shelter us from the danger so many of our fellow inhabitants of this world presented. But we’ve gone too far. We have created a sterile, barren environment. Wherever you are, sitting right now and reading your computer screen, try to imagine this same spot of land five hundred years ago, and for tens of thousands of years before that. It was very likely a lush forest with a vibrant, cosmopolitan atmosphere of squawking, hiding, howling, hunting, slithering, jumping animals. The land pulsated. The animals had an alertness we can only dream about, knowing that every move they made or failed to make could be fatal. In this threatening world of predators and prey, still they managed to mate and raise children. Surrounded by creatures utterly different from them, they shared and persevered. Consciously or simply instinctually, they participated in life, just as their descendants still do in the vast but ever shrinking expanses of forest that yet survive on our world. But for us, our world has been reduced to slabs, boxes, and slick surfaces. We see a spider or cockroach run along our walls, or a line of ants moving back and forth across our floor and we nearly freak out. “EWwww! How did these animals get in here?”

Our isolationist course has taken us to, and perhaps beyond, the tipping point. The latest hypothesis to explain the disappearance of honey bees in some parts of the world is that mobile phone “noise” is disrupting the bees’ homing sensors. Once they leave the hive to gather pollen, they can’t find their way back. The hives die. It’s hard to proffer a more essential species than the honeybee. Most of the world’s crops depend on them for pollination. So, will it be mobile phones that ultimately do us in? If so, I see a profoundly sad irony in that. Our isolated, lonely species, robbing the planet of its life force, while we go on chattering, chattering, chattering among ourselves.

It wasn’t too long ago that these amazing creatures were almost wiped out as a result of DDT. Fortunately, they have made a great comeback. Every time I hear Republicans wanting to do away with the EPA, I think about what might have been. What if this photo were all that remained of our national symbol?

If you live in an area where eagles are not a common sight, let me share a couple of facts. An adult’s wingspan will reach eighty inches (two meters) in length.  The head and tail feathers do not turn white until around their fifth year.

The eagle’s voice (or call) is a high-pitched, rapid chirping or trilling sound. For you movie buffs, when Hollywood shows an eagle soaring overhead, they often dub in the sound of a hawk whose call is much more impressive than an eagle’s. (Imagine John Wayne sounding like Truman Capote and you have the gist of it.)

There is (or actually was) a great eagle nest near where I live in Sequim, Washington. I’ve watched the eagles raise chicks in the nest each year. Truth be told, these chicks are ugly.  SNARK ALERT: (But unlike Sarah P and Michelle B, these ‘chicks’ will mature into something impressive.)

Eagle parents are surprisingly attentive and doting. Once the chicks hatch, they grow fairly rapidly and the parents have to fish hard to keep up with the young ones’ appetites.

Sadly, the tree that housed the nest fell down this year. The eagles rebuilt about two hundred yards away, but they did not do a very good job. Half the nest has fallen away. Still waiting to see if it they are going to attempt to use the nest. They haven’t abandoned the new nest, but neither have they performed any repairs.

Eagles are in any case extremely resilient and hearty.  The one on the left has lost an eye, perhaps to a misguided hunter.  I’m told it can no longer hunt since its perspective is now “off,” but it is a survivor.  Eagles scavenge a good deal and the one with the injury appeared healthy.

Eagles are also big — sometimes it is hard to appreciate how big until you place it next to something whose size is a bit more familiar.

It was fun (and amusing) watching last year’s “chicks” while they were learning to fly.  Lesson 1:  Talons will fit around tree limbs.  Talons will not fit around a two-by-six.  (Not to worry.  Nothing was injured but this bird’s pride.)

Eagles do not start out as masters of the air.  Angles of approach, wind conditions, are all flying lessons they have to learn the hard way – like the rest of us, I suppose.

Eagles are social creatures.

They are also loving creatures.   This mated pair often watch the sunset together every evening… and have cocktails.  OK, OK, they’re watching for food.  But work with me here.

That’s it.  It is time for me to sail off into the sunset.

Thanks for letting me introduce Sequim Eagles into the rousing political debate.  And remember to vote non-Republican – if not for me, (insert sympathetic and patriotic music here)… do it for the eagles.