Elections

Before we can Make America Great Again, we need to Make Americans Great Again and the first step in doing that is for Republicans to openly recognize and end their abusive relationship with Donald Trump.

Today the DNC convention begins and from the advance word, we're in store for less schizophrenia and more rational speeches about reality (one of the top banned substances at the RNC).

The Republican Convention climaxes tonight with Donald Trump's acceptance speech...well, maybe "collapses" is more appropriate than "climaxes".

"When Donald first told me that he wanted me to be on his SCOTUS, I have to admit that I misunderstood and told him that I had a headache," Melania explained. "But once he explained to me that SCOTUS stands for 'Supreme Court Of Trump's Ultrahot Spouse', I was very flattened. Or is it 'flattered'?"

To soothe his fragile nerves, Donald Trump listens to his special, "The Best, Most, Magnificent Playlist, Ever in the History of Man, Believe Me!". Fortunately, we've got a copy right here!

"I find it redundant and repetitive that Republicans will once again have to do what they've done before, again and again, over and over, in investigating investigations of investigations," repeated Ryan.

PlanetPOV is summarizing this week's news using unrelated YouTube videos. While in sync with today's level of journalism, we hope you'll find it as informative as it is entertaining. Thank you!

There are big difference between the UK and the US (and not just the windshield vs. "windscreen" crap) in demographics, politics and the fact that Donald Trump is not an organization of sovereign states that our country belongs to (yet).

Republicans have been lobbying Trump to change his campaign persona into a "more presidential" one, to go by a script and stop saying incendiary things. In other words, they want Trump to pull a bigger con on the American public than he has been, deceiving voters into thinking he's not the sociopath he really is.

"Let's make America great again and maybe we can start to do that by basing our elections on something truly American, a mafia style threat that says, 'You didn't see anything, you didn't hear anything! Vote Trump!'"