The stakes with stopping carbon dioxide buildup are huge. The value of the un-drilled oil and methane and coal is in the trillions and if you think the oil and gas companies are going to write off those investments without a huge fight, I have a bridge to sell you.
Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category
Goodell stated, “These women are trying to corner me in a tight space, deliver a knockout blow to my head then drag me out of the NFL. It’s an outrage! I’m not resigning because their claims aren’t true, I don’t tolerate violence against women…really wish I could pound that into their heads.”
“These ISIS guys, they won’t be armed, right? I mean, we’re seasoned Ferguson cops, we’re used to dealing harshly with groups of unarmed enemies, we’re great at that.”
When asked if it would strange to him, to be on vacation, Satan explained, “I am accustomed to being in horrific surroundings…so I booked a Carnival Cruise.”
The real issue here is that when you criticize white people in power for using their power to further oppress black people, you’re being racist. After all, aren’t you attacking only white people when you do so?
The automatic impeachment declaration uses blank lines in the areas where charges against a future Democratic President should appear, and terms like “Enter Scandal Here”, “List Connections to Terrorists” and “Fill In Traitorous Act” are placed beneath the blanks, in parentheses.
In the cases where “Tea Party Republican” softball parents get what they want but their daughter’s lack of skills lead to losses, they console their daughters that they did everything right and someone else is to blame (Obama?).
In a remarkable turn of non-events, the major cable news stations all declared that there really isn’t any news today so they have nothing meaningful to offer to the public until tomorrow.
TABLE OF CONTENTS Welcome from the Speaker Dress Code Lodging and Meals Committee Assignments Franking Fact-Finding Missions Personal Appearances Legislation Welcome from the Speaker As Speaker of the 2018 House and Grill, I would like to extend a warm welcome to our new members. We look forward to meeting with […]
Throughout American history, Republicans have always stood for supporting the goals they speak up for…then attacking any Democrats who accomplish them!
ADLIB: If I said 2 plus 2 equals 4, isn’t that the only correct answer?
CRUZ: I can list the names of a number of Republican economists who would disagree with you.
Priebus ecplained, “We enlisted the best Republican minds to create a new language that would better respect and represent those in our party. When that failed, we asked the Koch Brothers to pay $10 million to Frank Luntz who quickly turned out the framework for this new language we’ve come to call, ‘Benghazian’. “
Some possible team names that have been floated by Donald Sterling and Cliven Bundy for their new racist basketball league include, “The Charleston Chattel”, “The Houston Butlers” and “The Tennessee Involuntaries”.
Cliven Bundy: “My favorite comedy? Don’t know if this counts but I went to a movie last years thinkin’ it was a comedy but I was the only one laughin’. Think it was called ‘Twelve Years a Slave’.”