I thought God might be pleased with the Texas education board putting him into their textbooks (he likes to try to stay ahead of Paris Hilton in popularity) but he instead asked me to publish this blog for Him:

Okay, I may be Old Testament School but though I’m flattered that some Texans would rather have me in their schools than gravity, I’m not comfortable going back into the classroom. I can’t fit my legs under those desks anymore and…my teen years were a bit awkward, I’d rather not be reminded of them.

This situation’s made clear that there are a few misunderstandings about me so I think now may be a good time to clear up some of them:

a. I am not American

Okay, maybe I was the first and most primal American Idol but I’m not American. That doesn’t mean I have a Nigerian birth certificate either. It’s like that old joke about Lincoln being born in a log cabin that he helped his father build, how could I have been born in a country on a planet that I created? So if I wasn’t born in America and I haven’t married an American woman (you should see my eHarmony profile, “Seeking a married virgin to get pregnant but not looking to leave her husband.”) , I don’t even have a green card.

How could I be American? I mean, I’m supposed to be everyone’s God, you know? How would Americans feel if I told them I was Canadian and liked them best? I do like back bacon but the bottom line is that I can’t hold a passport from any nation because my head shot would be way too big to fit on one.

b.  I am not an advocate of capitalism.

Believe me, after I lost a bundle in the tulip crash, the stock market crash, the dot com crash, the housing crash, I’m capitalismed out. I really don’t know where folks got the idea that I favor any economic system. When you’re eternal, you don’t even have a concept of possession.  What someone owns right now will eventually be someone else’s after enough time passes. Everything that’s physical today will eventually be transformed into something else. Except Twinkies…those damn things last forever.

Are folks really asking themselves, WDWJII (What Derivatives Would Jesus Invest In)? Like lots of people losing their homes and buried in credit card debt, my son was totally down on the money changers. He didn’t have a single credit card, really.

He and I pretty much see eye-to-eye on this, economic systems shouldn’t be worshiped. They should just be tools for making the lives of the most people the best they can be. If they’re not working great to do that, they should just be changed until and so they do.

The way some down there are about capitalism is like insisting on wearing the same  bikini that fit 20 years and 30 pounds ago.   It really doesn’t fit America like it used to, it’s come apart at the seams and needs to be mended. And adding a bit of Spandex wouldn’t hurt.

c. I don’t want to be President of the U.S.

No offense to Pres. Obama or any presidents before him but for me, that would really be a bit of a job demotion from omnipotent lord of all creation, you know? And can you imagine the way I’d be attacked if I ran? “He doesn’t stop the devil, can we trust him to stop Bin Laden?” or “He’s almost as old as John McCain, his VP is just one Atheist’s argument away from becoming president”.

Actually, I have an appreciation for the separation between church and state…really miss that, anyone know whatever happened to it?

d. The Devil is not responsible for the things and/or people you don’t like.

Many people blame The Devil or demons possessing people for things that happen or are said that they don’t like. They would be correct more often blaming bad things on high fructose corn syrup.

The truth is that Satan’s been going through a bit of depression lately, it’s a bit of the Empty Nest syndrome. Enough little evils have grown up in enough people in the world, Satan just doesn’t feel needed anymore. I don’t want to say he’s become very needy but every time I see him he asks, “Do these horns make my face look fat?”

So, just try to think of me like your parents. Humanity has grown up, moved out and is living in its own apartment. It can stay up late and party without regard for the consequences, it can be conscientious and dedicated to doing well at its work, it can care about its neighbors and help them or steal their Sunday newspapers.

Humanity can always call me to talk, I know my advice isn’t always wanted and I’m okay with that. Other times, I know how appreciated it is.

I won’t interfere in Humanity’s life and I only ask one thing of it, please no more ties on my birthday, I’ve got a whole closet of them and honestly, I never wear them.

Peace!

Trying to refine these a bit..

lemme know what you think..

be BRUTAL!!!!

..

..

..

On SARAH PALIN:

She said she’d attend the Convention.

Old Sarah still craved the attention.

She wrote on her hand,

copped one hundred grand,

then “donated” it to her own pension.

= = = = = = = = = =

She calls for a new revolution,

“We must ply to the strict Constitution”!

When asked what that meant,

her knowledge was spent..

and the rest was just more noise pollution.

= = = = = = = = = =

On CHENEY:

There once was a V.P. named Cheney,

Whose “vision” was bitter & grainy.

He tortured & swore

that we needed a war

but he turned out much worse than Khomeini.

= = = = = = = = = =

(variation)

There’s a putrid old fascist named Cheney

who delights in the concept of pain, he

denies that the cries

that his try’s to baptize

reap just more useless lies than Khomeini.

= = = = = = = = = =

On RACHEL MADDOW vs AARON SCHOCK:

There’s a vapid young freshman named Aaron

whose worldview is woefully barren.

He was clearly miscast

and was tied to the mast

When “Rach” made his world Sub Saharan.

= = = = = = = = = =

There once was a Gooper named Schock

whose spiel was a typical crock.

It was almost a crime

he was given the time

to watch Maddow just clean out his clock.

= = = = = = = = = =

On JOHN BOEHNER:

There’s a GOP lackey named Boehner

Who, for all intents, looks like a stoner,

He’d forgotten his task

to top his hip flask

filled entirely of orange skin toner.

= = = = = = = = = =

The Minority Leader was shaken.

A finger wagging was taken.

So he hemmed & he hawed,

‘tho his snit was a fraud

‘Cause he knew he was no Francis Bacon.

= = = = = = = = = =

On the CPAC CONVENTION:

So, they’re holding a cute, little meeting

where Limbaugh will keep overeating.

Beck will chalk the same croc

Dick will stock an ad-hoc

with Uranium needing depleting.

= = = = = = = = = =

On REPUBLICAN OBSTRUCTION:

All they want is to block & obstruct

any progress they feel should be chucked.

They’d rather still stay

then betray their cliche

of a time when their “values” just sucked.

= = = = = = = = = =

They bleat & they fete for “more jobs”.

They lob “blobs of green gobs” at the mobs.

Yet when Bills are proposed

their minds stay clamped closed

so they’ll recommence humping Lou Dobbs.

= = = = = = = = = = =

On HEALTH CARE REFORM:

They strive for a new “Waterloo”

by giving our Health Bill the flu.

But their pale rail will fail

as this ship has set sail

so we’ll bid their stale milieu adieu.

= = = = = = = = = = =

The wingers were set to make merry..

Our Bill they were ready to bury.

But then came this “twist”,

Some new grain for the grist.

Punked AGAIN, were they?

“Yes indeed, VERY!”

= = = = = = = = = = =

On GLENN BECK:

There’s this broadcast bufffoon known as Glenn,

who prays to the DEV!L (amen!).

He insights racial fights

‘tll some fan kills non-whites

which come to pass not “if” but WHEN.

= = = = = = = = = =

On NEWT GINGRICH:

There’s a throwback right winger named Newt

whose delusions remain so acute

that he inks what he thinks

will prove links he thinks stinks

but his foot, in the end, he will shoot.

= = = = = = = = = =

On BIPARTISANSHIP, the GOP CAUCUS & the HEALT CARE SUMMIT:

“Can’t we all get along?”, asked the Pres..

but they couldn’t care less what he says.

They’ll admit they don’t fit

& will quit with a snit

just like Lucy & Desi Arnaz.

= = = = = = = = = =

(variation)

“Let’s discuss this out front”, said the Pres..

but they couldn’t care less what he says.

When they cease to transmit,

they just quit with a snit

just like Lucy & Desi Arnaz.

= = = = = = = = = = =

On RON PAUL:

There once was a looney named Paul

who would like-minded loonies entrall.

He’d replace the black race

just in case they’d erase

his delusional masquerade ball.

= = = = = = = = = =

On COLIN POWELL’S DISCLOSURES:

We had a great General named Powell

who needed to throw in the towel.

His supply of a lie

went awry (my oh my)

Now he’s paying Dick back with a vowel.

= = = = = = = = = =

On JIM BUNNING:

There’s a putrid old winger named Bunning

who feels unemployed people need shunning.

His crusade to cease aid

I’m afraid did cascade

to his running when people came gunning.

= = = = = = = = = =

On JOHN KYL:

= = = = = = = = = =

There once was a winger named, KYL

who was to all working people hostile.

He believes they are thieves

as he weaves his pet peeves

into a mountainous steaming coiled pile.

= = = = = = = = = = =

&.. last but not least.. BART STUPAK:

A Congressional throwback named Stupak

who constantly flacks through his butt-crack

his tack to set back

womens rights with a whack

is just merely a hack at his nut-sac.

==

Have you ever (be honest) hit a puddle with your car – just for fun – to see how big of a splash it would make?

Did you ever (be honest) do it front of a bus stop (with people waiting for a bus) – (no?)

Okay, if you answered yes to that last question you know you’re going to  hell (or at least the next RNC convention).

Anyway – this video takes it to a whole new level of . . . far out (and it gets the people wet too) heh.

Due to the work of dogged investigative reporting, it has been uncovered that the GOP is actually a scripted “reality” show for the Fox network.

The tipoffs were all there, if you used Morse code to decrypt all of Sarah Palin’s winks, you would have gotten the messages, “Hi Mom!”, “I buried John McCain.” and “I’m not this dumb in real life, really.”

What a colorful array of characters they cast:

• The preening always-tan Senator who can never tell the truth.
• The gruff, bumbling, forgetful old codger from AZ
• The Charlie-Brown-Teacher voiced ex-Gov of Alaska who’s a pit bull with lipstick
• The chinless and jowled Minority Leader always warning that the sky is always falling
• The bumbling black party leader who awkwardly tries to “jive talk” the people they hate into joining them.
• The obese drug addict radio host who’s proudly racist
• The ego-mad tv host who weeps and laughs maniacally at paranoid delusions.

You can’t make this stuff up.

I do have to say that Fox is great at marketing, everyone’s tuning into this show to see what they say and do next, lots of people can repeat each episode word for word but I think the writing has gotten a bit weak.

Like always having every character lying, that’s getting so old. And it’s very hackneyed to claim that everything they don’t like is  “going to destroy our nation”. So played out, how about something new for a change, please?

They do always seem to throw a curve when things start to get predictable, like the Powerpoint presentation that was “leaked”, dissing their own donors as fearful and egotistical. Very funny, I wouldn’t have thought of that.

I’d have to say that my favorite character in the show is that female ex-governor from Alaska, she cracks me up! I think she’s being written by some of The Simpsons writers at Fox (the ones who write Mr. Burns?), her dialog and what she does is so cartoonish, you know? The way she’s so seemingly oblivious to how attention and power hungry she is and how ridiculously greedy, you know? Telling her clueless fans that she’s just a poor rural gal while she rakes in millions from books and appearances and grabs armfuls of loot from Oscar gift rooms.

She’s so funny! That death panel thing was hilarious! And her writing on her hand when she was attacking reading off teleprompters? Classic!

What gets a bit annoying though are the amount of reruns. If I have to see those episodes over and over again where they call Obama “a socialist” or claim the country is about to be nuked if the Senate uses a democratic, majority vote to pass legislation, I’m going to quit Tivoing it for a while.

However, I must admit that I am looking forward to next season when they play “Survivor” to see who gets to run for president. They’ve got some wild characters in the wings who will be joining the show then, there’s that two-faced, slick-as-a-used-car-salesman ex-Gov from MA and the conspiracy theory wingnut from TX with his cult following.

One question though, when is Fox ever going to take credit for this show and let people know it’s their “Blair Witch” faux-reality hoax? I mean, some people think it’s real!

This morning as I was watching last night’s Craig Ferguson Show that we tape since we can’t stay up that late, his monologue struck a chord with me.

He stated that he’s been feeling rather depressed lately, and I have to admit that so have I, and I wonder if anyone else has been feeling the same.

I find it depressing to read the news every day and every day the news seems to be nothing but doom and gloom.

If it’s not articles about the Party of NO, it’s stories about Limbaugh’s and Beck’s latest bloviations, Sarah Palin’s Charismatic Apostolic Warriors taking over our government, the 244% increase in hate groups, unemployment, foreclosures, Americans suffering without health care, earthquakes in Haiti and Chile.

I’ve been thinking about the typical platitude of counting my blessings, and I do have innumerable blessings in my life, and focusing on the positives rather than negatives, and then I log onto the Internet and the depressing cycle starts again.

So, I started thinking of what I can do in my every day life to get around the blues and decided that I need an attitude adjustment.

Today is the day that I am starting my personal movement to cheer up, by finding at least one good news story every single day.

I have also decided to stop playing into the negativity by referring to Tea Party people as teabaggers, and instead calling them, well, Tea Party People or referring to the group as the Tea Party Movement.

I am going to try very hard to speak about Republicans, Palin, Limbaugh and Beck, et all, in a respectful manner, taking a cue from Van Jones and his graciousness in telling Beck that he loves him, even if it was tongue in cheek, but I think the man really meant it.

In other words, I’m going to try to play nice and not lower myself to the opposition’s level.

Have you ever gotten really angry with someone and blew up and told them off?

How did it make you feel afterward?

I’ve done that a few times in my life, and every single time I’ve regretted it afterward and I felt horrible and worse than I did about whatever offense occurred to bring on my anger or hurt feelings.

I’m taking the high road, or going to try my damnedest to do that, as it is healthier for my frame of mind.

My feel good story of the day is this one –

Veterinarian Wins Pay It Forward

Dear Sarah,

Thank you for pointing out the basic offensiveness of our decision to change GOP to SOP.

However, since being politically correct, politically intelligent, politically relevant or politically astute seems to no longer be a prerequisite for actually being a member of the Republican Party – we feel that our decision is the correct one.

After careful consideration, we could no longer find an argument or even any reason for the “Grand” in Grand Old Party. Nonetheless, we were encouraged to keep at least some of the moniker – mostly because of brand recognition.

Therefore, the change from GOP to SOP will remain and we are sorry that your feelings have been hurt by this change. However, we can assure you that Special Olympics Party (SOP) is the right choice.

Yours Truly,

America

Here’s the audio for the trailer of the new horror movie (for the GOP), “Night of the Living Reform”

NARRATOR: It was hacked into pieces! It was smothered alive! It was buried and left for dead! Now…it’s b-a-a-ack!!!

HOWARD DEAN: “When ya kill a bill, ya better make sure it’s dead!”

LINDSAY GRAHAM: “No! No! Don’t shove it down my throat! Yes! I mean no!”

MITCH MCCONNELL: “What he said!”

(GROWLING SOUNDS OF A BEAST)

RUSH LIMBAUGH: “Get out of here! Get away! I’ll sit on you! I’ll eat you! Get away!!! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD! NOOO!!!

(SOUNDS OF PRESIDENTIAL HOPES CRUMBLING)

SARAH PALIN: “But…I killed you…you can’t be alive…I stabbed a death panel right through your heart! You can’t…Y-A-A-AH!!!

(SOUNDS OF A TAN TURNING WHITE)

JOHN BOEHNER: “This isn’t happening! This can’t be happening! I know how to stop you! ‘NO’! ‘NO’! It’s not working! Then eat filibuster!

(SOUNDS OF A FILIBUSTER GOING LIMP)

JOHN BOEHNER: “NOOO!!! Stop! For corporation’s sake, stop! You can’t roll over me! I’m TAN!!! ARGH!!!

NARRATOR:  Sometimes killing what a majority of Americans want…isn’t enough! HCR is back from the dead…and this time, it’s reconciled to kill the opposition! Night of the Living Reform! Coming soon!

Yes, momentum and possibly even reason has returned to the minds of Democrats in Congress. Their brilliant minds seem to have recovered from the Scott Brown election mentality of “Only 59 seats now! We’re helpless!” to “Hey…if we can’t do anything with 59 seats, how can I win re-election by saying keep us in the majority?”

So, a growing number of Dems in the House and most importantly, in The Senate are championing bringing back real HCR including a public option and using reconciliation to get through the changes to the Senate bill that couldn’t pass a filibuster. Just as many of us have been hammering them to do for a long time.

The House is 100% right not to sign the Senate bill until its horrible provisions have been overridden by the reconciliation bill…which needs to include a Public Option. If that is done, public opinion on all of this will turn around.

The main reason most opposed the bill was because the public option was killed and there would be mandatory purchase of policies from insurance companies who can, as Anthem tried, raise premiums 39% at a time and bankrupt citizens who would be breaking the law and penalized for not allowing themselves to be bankrupted.

This two step approach is so simple and reasoned. Pass the aspects that all can agree on then pass the aspects that favor Americans over corporations by 51 Dem votes.

Aside from reforming the filibuster, reconciliation is the only path for the Dems and Obama to turn around the perception of a gridlocked and helpless government. It is an absolute.  And they must not stop here, just as the GOP is using the filibuster to block everything, the Dems must use reconciliation to pass everything they possibly can through that method.

That means a jobs bill, bank and Wall Street reform, energy and carbon emissions bills, etc. Of course, there must be a budgetary element to any bill to qualify for reconciliation but how difficult would that be to have financial elements involved in each of these bills?

To me, it’s very simple. If the GOP is going to pull the emergency cord on every bill, the Dems should be prepared to pull their emergency cord in response. They are in the better position and could even use that as leverage to make agreements that if the GOP won’t filibuster, they won’t go around them with reconciliation and let them be part of the process.

I doubt this would work for a while but do they want to go 8 years without having any influence on any legislation? If public opinion turns around to support the progress occurring under Obama and Dems in Congress, what will they have to campaign on? Not one vote for anything?

I am FINALLY encouraged again that momentum is on our side but we need to keep it up and keep hammering any of our Senators and Congresspeople who are not already on board.

BTW, MoveOn.org is collaborating with DailyKos and a number of other sites and groups on Feb 24th to organize a 1 million message protest which I recommend to all members here to join. Here is a link to their site, click the article to sign up if you wish: http://moveon.org/

This can really happen if we fight hard enough against the GOP and corporations and for real health care reform, for all Americans, current and future!

Sarah Palin comes out on Larry King against the teaching of gravity in our classrooms and for the teaching of Intelligent Denial:

As everyone probably knows by now, the great Tea Party Convention is in full swing this weekend in Nashville.

A whopping 600 teabaggers are gathered to hear their leaders, and are especially excited to hear Sarah Palin.

The convention kicked off to a great start with notable speaker Tom Tancredo –

Tancredo told the audience that the country had elected “a committed socialist ideologue in the White House” because “we do not have a civics, literary test before people can vote in this country“:

The opening-night speaker at the first National Tea Party Convention ripped into President Obama, Sen. John McCain and “the cult of multiculturalism,” asserting that Obama was elected because “we do not have a civics, literacy test before people can vote in this country.”

The speaker, former Rep. Tom Tancredo, R-Colo., told about 600 delegates in a Nashville, Tenn., ballroom that in the 2008 election, America “put a committed socialist ideologue in the White House … Barack Hussein Obama.”

Tancredo says Obama won because we lack a ‘literacy test before people can vote in this country.’

Another speaker was Steven Millroy who claimed –

President Obama is not a U.S. socialist. He’s an international socialist. He envisions one world government. That’s what his whole plan is.

How Dare You Say We Believe This Stuff!

And there were these words of wisdom from Joseph Farah –

My dream is that IF Barack Obama even seeks re-election as president in 2012, he won’t be able to go to any city, any town, any hamlet in America without seeing signs that ask, “Where’s the birth certificate?”

What I’ll say today at 1st Tea Party Convention

The Tea Party Movement is claiming victory for Scott Brown winning Senator Kennedy’s seat in Massachusetts and Brown’s win has bolstered the movement.

The Tea Party Express PAC spent $285,000 for Brown’s campaign, and there are reportedly several other smaller Tea Party PACs from Tennessee to California, which are working on campaigns for Tea Party candidates.

The Tea Party is looking to corporations, since the SCOTUS ruling –

Tea party looking for corporate donations

The US Supreme Court’s recent decision to scale back part of the McCain-Feingold campaign finance reforms could also come to play a role. Tea party organizers gathered in Nashville, Tenn., say corporations are welcome to donate.

The establishment of various tea-party-related campaign funds is part of a rush by genuine organizers, K Street lobbyists, established party operatives, and even hucksters to cash in on the tea party moniker – a criticism that has been leveled from both outside and inside the movement against Tea Party Nation, the for-profit group that’s bringing former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin to Nashville for a speech Saturday night.

New Tea Party PAC: Can it raise $10 million for midterm revolt?

But there are problems within the Tea Party Movement itself, with protests from within.
A splinter group has emerged due to the price of the convention and the feeling of being scammed by the Tea Party leaders.

Meanwhile, a splinter group plans to stage a guerilla press conference on the grounds of the Opryland Resort to denounce the convention for its cost and failure to represent the tea party spirit.

Harnessing ‘tea party’ spirit won’t be easy. Convention is proof.

Can Sarah Palin unite her loyal teabaggers or will her appearance divide the movement further?

Stay tuned.

OK I get the feeling some of you did not do your home work so here is a pop quiz.

1. Who is Ruckusium and what comic strip and later animated series did that name come from and why?
2. Who is Birtherbillium and why is that name appropriate?
3. Who is Goebbelium and what is the historical reference?
4. Who are Pimpium and Hoium?
5. What group uses the seal shown in Vigilantium?
6. Who is Gedfedjobon and where did he say to deserve that name?
7. Who is Johnous and what did he do to deserve that name?
8. Who is Homophobic and why is she properly named?
9. Who is Xenophobon and why does the name fit?
10. Who is Hypocritium?
11. Who is Hefooledum and what magazing is that naked image of him from?
12. Who is RIPdemium and what group does he represent?
13. Who is Orwelium and what pseudo documentary did he create that the right and left use to attack Obama?
14. Who is Blood$ium (aka Bloodmoneyum) and what infamous corporation did he found?
15. Who is Puristium and why is he related to RIPdemium in this case?

Bonus Question:  What yet undiscovered particles make up Huckaboson?

Send you answers to the kquark@planetpov.com and the aswers and the winner’s moniker will be posted on the Friday Planet Music Night thread.

You will probably need to click on the image to enlarge it to read all the names in question.

The Planet now has it’s very own political parody of the Periodic Table.  I first want to thank everyone who helped me with the nomenclature.  This table is based on most of the craziness that has occurred during the first year of Obama’s presidency.  Any comments or suggestions are welcome.  The table is below and you will probably have to click on it to enlarge to read all the names

The official Super Bowl Sunday began January 15th, 1967 when the Green Bay Packers defeated the Kansas City Chiefs.

The NFL had full control of the game since 1920, until the AFL began in 1960.

June 8th, 1966, the two leagues agreed on a merger, with the condition that the winners from both leagues play against each other to determine the champion.

Originally, NFL Commissioner, Pete Rozelle, wanted to call the game “The Big One”, but it was the AFL founder and owner of the Kansas City Chiefs, Lamar Hunt, who suggested “Super Bowl” and the name has stuck ever since.

Super Bowl Fun Facts:

• In most years, the Super Bowl is the most watched television event.
• Exclusive television rights to air the game rotate between 3 major networks – CBS, NBC and FOX
• Due to the popularity of the game, commercial airtime is the most expensive for the broadcast
• Super Bowl Sunday is the second largest day of the year for eating after Thanksgiving
• 8 million pounds of guacamole is consumed on Super Bowl Sunday.
• 14,500 tons of chips are eaten along with that guacamole.
• The average number of people at a Super Bowl party is 17.
• 5% of Americans will watch the game alone.
• Of the top 10 most watched television programs of all time, 9 of them are Super Bowls.
• Budweiser has been the exclusive Super Bowl beer advertiser for the past 13 years.
• The Super Bowl is measured in Roman numerals because a football season runs the span over two calendar years.
• Since the 1980s the Super Bowls have always started around 6pm Eastern Standard Time.
• More drivers are involved in alcohol-related accidents on Super Bowl Sunday compared to any other day of the year (except St. Patrick’s Day), according to the Insurance Information Institute.
• 35% of people who attend the game write it off as a corporate expense.
• Over 700,000 footballs are produced annually for official NFL use and 72 of them are used for the Super Bowl.
• The Dolphin Stadium in Miami has vomitoriums, which is actually an architectural feature, not an official place were people can puke. It’s a passage below a tier of seats in an amphitheater through which a crowd can spew out after the game.
• The Super Bowl has been played in south Florida 8 times; this year’s game will be the ninth.
• Super Bowl fans spend more than $50 million on food during the 4 days prior to the Super Bowl.
• Super Bowl Sunday is the biggest winter grilling day of the year.

http://www.yumsugar.com/125068

My husband and I plan on staying home for the game and eating the traditional guacamole and chili (both homemade) and plenty of beer, of course, which will probably result in some scented sound effects around half time!

GO COLTS!

I need your help because my ideas are drying up.  This is what I have so far and I’ve thought of about a dozen more to add that I can think of including the SCOTUS judges, and usual rabble of right wing talking heads.  I need help identifying the lying and corrupt politicians, blowhards and business execs that destroy America.  Also if you have some creative names that would be appreciated. Don’t worry about the formatting I’ll do that last.  Here is what I have so far on paper.  Click to enlarge the PTOE.

I was browsing some old pictures to download to my phone and I came across one of the funniest and most poignant images I came across during the election.  To think that we gave the country over to this people is mind boggling and worse is the fact that we might do it again.

Periodic Table of Criminal Elements

To satisfy my scientific post of the week as well following this paragraph are a few interesting versions of the periodic table.  There are many interactive versions of the Periodic Table some including quizzes on the internet and you can find those with a Google search.   Click HERE to see most versions of the periodic table scientists have developed through the decades.  Probably the most “accurate” form of the periodic table in 2D are the spiral configurations but the 3D interpretations are best.  Click on the Periodic Tables to enlarge to full size.

Most Up to Date Traditional Configuration of the Periodic Table of Elements (PTOE)

Traditional PTOE with Pictures of the Elements in Their Native Form.

An Interesting Classic Version of the PTOE Showing Electron Orbitals and Their Wave Functions

Early Spiral Version of the PTOE

Latest Spiral Version of the PTOE (this Spiral Version of the PTOE is actually a phenomenal on line interactive Shockwave version you can access by clicking HERE)

Another Spiral Version That Represents how the Electron Shells Form

This was my personal favorite of the PTOE but it never took off after it was developed in the mid 70’s

Click HERE to see one of the better interactive versions of the Periodic Table of Elements which link to Wiki entries on each element.

I thought I’d tackle the very serious issue of climate change by penning a Hank Williamsy, cry-in-your-beer c&w love song about it. As for the quality, you’ve heard of The Basement Tapes, right? Well, think of this as a whatever is below the basement tape. The great musicianship should be attributed to my buddy, Guy (not THE Buddy Guy, my friend Guy, who provides the stunning guitar work). Lyrics and singing can be blamed on yours truly. 

Note: There is no ferret in the picture, just arctic critters, so you can spare yourself the search.

Warmer Than My Heart

Cherry trees in Tokyo are blossoming in March

New Yorkers in January picnic in the park

I read you letter late last night and sat there in the dark

every place it’s warmer than my heart

Moscow in the winter is like Paris in the spring

I wonder why in old Shanghai the birds have come to sing

in Berlin I saw you girl in your brand new boyfriend’s car

every place it’s warmer than my heart

(refrain)

we’re told that we must heed the warning

or life as we know it could well come to an end

but I’m hoping that global warming

will melt your heart and bring you back, back to me again

businessmen pay scientists to say it isn’t so

on the slopes skiers hope for just a little snow

if you want to cool things down, I know the place to start

every place it’s warmer than my heart

The climate crime rate’s going up just like the mercury

the way you cooled our romance down seems like a crime to me

we had a good thing going till you blew it all apart

now every place it’s warmer than my heart

07 Warmer Than My Heart2~FS