“We and the other networks are suing because of the incredible losses we’ve suffered due to Americans not suffering incredible losses.”
Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category
Visit the “Brides of Foxenstein!” room where women are made up to look like the Bride of Frankenstein, chasing after and terrorizing older white men by demanding control over their own bodies and equal pay! Sca-a-ry!
If only on that dark day in Dallas, Secret Service Agent Steven Wilder, who was said to be easily distracted, hadn’t misunderstood and thought he had been ordered to secure a book suppository.
The stakes with stopping carbon dioxide buildup are huge. The value of the un-drilled oil and methane and coal is in the trillions and if you think the oil and gas companies are going to write off those investments without a huge fight, I have a bridge to sell you.
Goodell stated, “These women are trying to corner me in a tight space, deliver a knockout blow to my head then drag me out of the NFL. It’s an outrage! I’m not resigning because their claims aren’t true, I don’t tolerate violence against women…really wish I could pound that into their heads.”
“These ISIS guys, they won’t be armed, right? I mean, we’re seasoned Ferguson cops, we’re used to dealing harshly with groups of unarmed enemies, we’re great at that.”
When asked if it would strange to him, to be on vacation, Satan explained, “I am accustomed to being in horrific surroundings…so I booked a Carnival Cruise.”
The real issue here is that when you criticize white people in power for using their power to further oppress black people, you’re being racist. After all, aren’t you attacking only white people when you do so?
The automatic impeachment declaration uses blank lines in the areas where charges against a future Democratic President should appear, and terms like “Enter Scandal Here”, “List Connections to Terrorists” and “Fill In Traitorous Act” are placed beneath the blanks, in parentheses.
In the cases where “Tea Party Republican” softball parents get what they want but their daughter’s lack of skills lead to losses, they console their daughters that they did everything right and someone else is to blame (Obama?).
In a remarkable turn of non-events, the major cable news stations all declared that there really isn’t any news today so they have nothing meaningful to offer to the public until tomorrow.
TABLE OF CONTENTS Welcome from the Speaker Dress Code Lodging and Meals Committee Assignments Franking Fact-Finding Missions Personal Appearances Legislation Welcome from the Speaker As Speaker of the 2018 House and Grill, I would like to extend a warm welcome to our new members. We look forward to meeting with […]
Throughout American history, Republicans have always stood for supporting the goals they speak up for…then attacking any Democrats who accomplish them!
ADLIB: If I said 2 plus 2 equals 4, isn’t that the only correct answer?
CRUZ: I can list the names of a number of Republican economists who would disagree with you.