It is a tradition in my family to go around the Thanksgiving dinner table and ask who covered the dog in hair gel and sculpted her fur into a swear word. After that, we go around the table and share with each other those things in life that each of us are grateful for.
Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category
Sen. Ted Cruz and the majority of Republican men in Congress explained that it was their sole responsibility to take the trash out in their house and that their wives’ unilateral action in taking it out makes it impossible for the trash to be taken out in the future.
My father was Noel Purcell, Actor, Comedian and Freeman of the City of Dublin. I do want to share the real man behind the Stage and Screen star, his pride in his work, his incredible humility for all his success but most of all, I want to show him as MY DAD!
As part of their attempt to soften their image with voters just ahead of of next week’s election, top names from the GOP have donned their Halloween costumes and are offering a trick…or treat…for America.
“We and the other networks are suing because of the incredible losses we’ve suffered due to Americans not suffering incredible losses.”
Visit the “Brides of Foxenstein!” room where women are made up to look like the Bride of Frankenstein, chasing after and terrorizing older white men by demanding control over their own bodies and equal pay! Sca-a-ry!
If only on that dark day in Dallas, Secret Service Agent Steven Wilder, who was said to be easily distracted, hadn’t misunderstood and thought he had been ordered to secure a book suppository.
The stakes with stopping carbon dioxide buildup are huge. The value of the un-drilled oil and methane and coal is in the trillions and if you think the oil and gas companies are going to write off those investments without a huge fight, I have a bridge to sell you.
Goodell stated, “These women are trying to corner me in a tight space, deliver a knockout blow to my head then drag me out of the NFL. It’s an outrage! I’m not resigning because their claims aren’t true, I don’t tolerate violence against women…really wish I could pound that into their heads.”
“These ISIS guys, they won’t be armed, right? I mean, we’re seasoned Ferguson cops, we’re used to dealing harshly with groups of unarmed enemies, we’re great at that.”
When asked if it would strange to him, to be on vacation, Satan explained, “I am accustomed to being in horrific surroundings…so I booked a Carnival Cruise.”
The real issue here is that when you criticize white people in power for using their power to further oppress black people, you’re being racist. After all, aren’t you attacking only white people when you do so?
The automatic impeachment declaration uses blank lines in the areas where charges against a future Democratic President should appear, and terms like “Enter Scandal Here”, “List Connections to Terrorists” and “Fill In Traitorous Act” are placed beneath the blanks, in parentheses.
In the cases where “Tea Party Republican” softball parents get what they want but their daughter’s lack of skills lead to losses, they console their daughters that they did everything right and someone else is to blame (Obama?).
In a remarkable turn of non-events, the major cable news stations all declared that there really isn’t any news today so they have nothing meaningful to offer to the public until tomorrow.
TABLE OF CONTENTS Welcome from the Speaker Dress Code Lodging and Meals Committee Assignments Franking Fact-Finding Missions Personal Appearances Legislation Welcome from the Speaker As Speaker of the 2018 House and Grill, I would like to extend a warm welcome to our new members. We look forward to meeting with […]