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AdLib On May - 7 - 2018

giuliani smile

Coming on the heels of Rudy Giuiani’s disastrous media tour over the past several days, his lips have filed a case in New York State Court to be legally separated from Mr. Giuliani.

“We just refuse to be connected to a man who lets outright lies and nonsensical statements pour out of his mouth day after day,” Giuliani’s lips explained. “Read us, it’s humiliating to be used to further Mr. Giuliani’s attacks on this great democracy and the fine people who work in our justice system. There comes a time when a pair of lips have to put their foot down,” Giuliani’s lips insisted.

Giuliani’s lips claim in their filing that they have been forced against their own will to aid and abet obstruction of justice but couldn’t provide greater detail due to a federal order requiring them to remained sealed. They also claim neglect, stating that Giuliani hasn’t permitted them to work for many years, making it an abusive and repressive sham of a relationship.

“Do we look familiar to anyone? No, because you never see us! He’s kept us restrained, like prisoners, never allowed to go our in public, never allowed to cover his teeth or kiss babies, nothing! We couldn’t keep up this farce of a relationship any longer without losing face,” Giuliani’s lips smacked.

Donald Trump responded to this news by tweeting out that Giuliani’s lips are Democrats who are part of a “witch hunt” and that he plans to replace these lips with “patriotic Republican lips”.

Asked where they would come from, Trump assured it would be easy to find a new “loyal” pair of lips for Giuliani. “We’ve got a whole Republican Congress, I just have to turn around and there are plenty of lips right there, rarin’ to go,” Trump explained. “Believe me, after Rudy’s performance over the past week, I’m really motivated to give him some lip.”

Written by AdLib

My motto is, "It is better to have blogged and lost hours of your day, than never to have blogged at all."

6 Responses so far.

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  1. Kalima says:

    What can you expect when those two old NY geezers, Wrinkles and Dimples get together to try to get their moronic lies straight? Unintelligible, quite unbelievable rubbish. I heard that he had resigned from his law film so trump should do the same and resign as the illegitimate, Russia owned president. Loose lips cause dictators to crumble.

    Giuliani’s Law Firm Undercuts His Statements as They Part Ways

    https://nytimes.com/2018/05/10/us/politics/rudy-giuliani-resigns-law-firm-greenberg-traurig.html

    • AdLib says:

      Kes, looks like Giuliani’s lips and firm have broken up with him at the same time. His lips will be staying on at the firm in the mailroom, to lick stamps.

      Meanwhile Giuliani will be hampered by not having lips as he keeps trying to kiss Trump’s behind.

      I don’t see the winning plan here as Giuliani makes Trump look more and more guilty and dishonest.

      Maybe it’s a shoot the moon thing, like in the card game Hearts. If you acquire all the dishonesty at the table, you win!

  2. Fuzzy Dunlop says:

    Never trust a man with no lips! That’s what I always say! 😉

  3. Daedalus says:

    Ad Lib:

    I just wanted to let you know (after so much time), that there are so many more of us who read, appreciate your humor, and ‘follow’ who just don’t have the energy to participate on a daily (or even weekly, or monthly) basis.

    As the saying goes, “Thank you for your service”.

    • AdLib says:

      Daedalus, nice to see you and thank you so much for the kind words and thoughts. They’re truly appreciated. It takes more effort than ever before to write satire that doesn’t describe actual news stories by the next day.

      And the “payoff” really is knowing it entertains others. So again, thanks for reading and inhabiting The Planet!


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