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AdLib On February - 9 - 2018

trump bat

Coming on the heels of  White House Staff Secretary Rob Porter being forced to resign due to evidence of his assaulting both of his ex-wives, Donald Trump announced that he alone can and will solve the issue of women being criminally abused by men.

“All these women having to come out about how they’ve been assaulted, it’s shocking to me, really, really shocking,” Trump expressed to reporters on the White House lawn after shoving Melania onto the Marine One helicopter. “This is totally unacceptable and it’s got to stop. So, tomorrow I will be signing an Executive Order that will put an end to crimes against women so no woman will ever again go through the humiliation of publicly revealing how they were criminally abused. My Executive Order will officially and legally, re-classify women as recreational equipment,” Trump smiled proudly, motioning with his exceptionally small extremities.

“You don’t get in trouble for kicking a soccer ball, that’s not a criminal act, right? Or if you wanted to grab it by the pump hole, that’s not a crime,” Trump insisted. “So whatever a man does to a woman, she won’t ever be a victim of crime. From now on, men will just be messing with recreational equipment and how bad does that sound?” Trump shrugged while trying to dribble a female reporter covering his announcement.

The only issue that came up, according to Trump, was concern by sporting goods companies that it could negatively affect the way their businesses if anyone could legally say that they sold recreational equipment. Trump noted that he had at first taken a hard line against making that statement illegal but when one company mentioned that they had named their business after him, Trump was flattered and included that in his Executive Order.

“I never knew that I was the inspiration for the name of their company. Isn’t that fantastic? I want to thank Dick’s Sporting Goods but you know, you got my name wrong,” Trump smiled obliviously.

 

Written by AdLib

My motto is, "It is better to have blogged and lost hours of your day, than never to have blogged at all."

5 Responses so far.

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  1. Kalima says:

    I just opened my eyes here in old Edo, read this. “Or if you wanted to grab it by the pump hole, that’s not a crime,” Trump insisted”, laughed so hard that my cats have run out of the room. Great morning exercise for all of us.

    In a statement he said. (Rob Porter) “He says he’s innocent”. Isn’t that what he says about every duschbag including himself and Putin?

    What a dick!!

  2. gyp46 says:

    Somewhere I’ve lost my connection with POV, but great it showed back today, funny how you don’t miss something until it shows up again.
    Love your post Adlib, looking for that sporting goods store that handles Trump dolls in order to beat one senseless.

    • AdLib says:

      Hey gyp46, great to see you! We changed servers and had to fix a few complicated things, sorry it took so long!

      Thanks so much! There should be a whole line of Trump recreational equipment, his face on a soccer ball you can kick, on a tent peg you can hammer, a dartboard and of course a baseball you can smack with a bat!

      Welcome back!!!


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