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AdLib On October - 31 - 2016

comey

FBI Director James Comey sent a letter to Congress today to inform them that he is opening an investigation into a ham sandwich that was found in disgraced ex-Congressman Anthony Weiner’s refrigerator. Comey explained in his letter that in pursuit of transparency, he felt it his duty to inform Congress immediately.

LETTER FROM FBI DIRECTOR JAMES COMEY TO CONGRESS

Dear Messrs Charimen:

I am writing to inform you that data was discovered on Mr. Weiner’s computer that is pertinent to our investigation into Secretary Hillary Clinton’s private email server, Anthony Weiner’s sexting and scary clown sightings.

It is pertinent but may not be significant, it is related but may be meaningless, it is tangential but could be a big bag of intestinal gas. So of course, a jarring announcement about this that could impact the election and change the course of history seemed appropriate.

In one of the browser windows on Mr. Weiner’s computer, an online deli menu was found. We have not as yet ascertained if the ham sandwich in his refrigerator was ordered from that deli menu or involved in any of the previously mentioned investigations but following our protocol, we have opened a secret investigation into the ham sandwich that we won’t tell anyone about in order to protect its integrity. No one will know about it. It will be top secret and confidential, revealing the existence of this investigation would be just as unethical as keeping confidential information on a private server. So we would never do that. Ever. Promise.

A determination about the involvement of the ham sandwich in our other investigations will be made as judiciously as possible and should take at least until lunch time. Due to my previous testimony before Congress that I would not be investigating any luncheon meats for potential criminal activity, I thought it important to update your committees about this swiftly.

Also, I will begin investigating potential involvement by erection enhancing pills due to another email discovered on Mr. Weiner’s computer. I will lead the FBI in taking a real hands on approach to this, it is the type of thing the FBI spends all day handling as a top priority which we hope is more evident now than ever.

Sincerely,

FBI Director James Comey

p.s. Trump/Pence 2016!!!

Written by AdLib

My motto is, "It is better to have blogged and lost hours of your day, than never to have blogged at all."

23 Responses so far.

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  1. AdLib says:

    BREAKING NEWS: James Comey releases video statement on FBI’s investigation of Hillary Clinton’s emails:


  2. AdLib says:

    For those worrying about the election, all major news sources I’ve reviewed today are focused on the following Trump stories, Melania illegally working as an undocumented alien, Giuliani getting FBI leaks and the FBI leaking to manipulate the election, the National Enquirer buying a Trump sexual assault victim’s story to bury it and Bret Bair having to apologize on Fox News for claiming charges against the Clinton Foundation are imminent.

    Not one story negative about Hillary is featured among news outlets today (other than the race being tight).

    The WAPO poll that earlier in the week (was the only major poll that showed Trump leading) showed Trump +1 now shows Hillary continuing to strengthen and back to +4 over Trump.

    Other polls show Hillary’s numbers rising too (at Real Clear Politics).

    What seems clear through the weekend is that the explosion of dishonest FBI propaganda that hurt Hillary last Friday has already backfired and been equalized by the stories of FBI impropriety. What seems to be filling its place in the news now are negative stories about Trump and Melania.

    Hillary has consistently held around a +4 lead in the national polls, she’s there this weekend so by Monday morning, with only 1 day to go until the election and a massive amount of early votes already in, she is leading with a healthy margin and stories of enormous Latino turnout are growing.

    It’s stressful that Trump is as close as he is to the Presidency but there is every reason to be a bit confident that Hillary will win…as long as we all do our duty as citizens to vote on Tuesday (if we haven’t done already).

    As the Brits say, “Keep Calm and Carry On”.

  3. Kalima says:

    FBI/Giuliani monkey business. If Clinton is a “pathological liar”, then what does that make trump?

    —-

    Meet Donald Trump’s Top FBI Fanboy

    http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/11/03/meet-donald-trump-s-top-fbi-fanboy.html

  4. AdLib says:

    If Hillary has been saving an October Surprise to spring on Trump before the election, tomorrow or Friday would be the time to do it. With or without it though, she will win as long as we GOTV!

  5. Kalima says:

    So this is the repub October surprise?

    Comey informs Congress, a no no covered in the Hatch Act, and the repubs in Congress fall over each other, peeing their pants to hiss it out to the press.

    If as I believe this is nothing but an attempt to help the pathetic repubs in the election, Comey should immediately resign when he comes up without a smoking gun and just holding Weiner’s wiener pix in his hand. Seems to me that some powerful repubs got to him after the last investigation cleared Clinton of intentional wrongdoing. I want to see nothing more than this pile of shit blowing up in their faces.

    In Other News:

    Trump investigations of the last 40 years. Why isn’t this all over the news, and who is the real crook here?

    What Clinton did was an arogant mistake of misguided entitlement. What trump has been involved in for four decades, is criminal.

    Hey repubs! Now get your hypogeal existence the hell off my lawn, and never sh#t where you eat.

    Ham sandwich anyone?

    As usual, AdLib, the graphic is priceless. He looks positively pained. So he should be.

    —-

    A quick review of 40 years of investigations into Donald Trump and his businesses

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2016/10/31/a-quick-review-of-40-years-of-investigations-into-donald-trumps-businesses/

    —-

    Donald Trump’s Companies Destroyed Emails in Defiance of Court Orders

    http://www.newsweek.com/2016/11/11/donald-trump-companies-destroyed-emails-documents-515120.html

    • AdLib says:

      Kalima, yep, the Repub version of an October surprise is too have their partison FBI director stir up a criminal investigation on Hillary in the last week of an election…based on nothing! Comey has no actual evidence of any wrongdoing yet outrageously formally announces this, breaking with all precedent and defying the DoJ?

      I don’t think Trump wins due too this but Comey may be helping her win by a smaller margin that could empower Trump and Repubs to insist she is illegitimate.

      Comey is a traitor to the nation IMO. He is de facto helping the Russians through his actions to try and hand Trump the election despite the true sentiment and intentions of the majority of voters. Suppressing the vote is an attack on democracy and not only do I agree that Comey needs to go but he should be prosecuted under the Hatch Act.

      Our democracy is under unrelenting assault and in dire straits.

      • Kalima says:

        It’s deplorable considering trump’s long record of fraud and possible criminal involvement. Double stands as usual from the desperately failing gop. What I don’t understand is this causing a lack of enthusiasm in Dem voters. That’s exactly what the repubs are hoping for. What is the matter with these Dems? The choice has never been clearer. Do they want 4 years of utter destruction and dismantling of all the changes the President has fought so hard for, or do they want a Dem in the WH?

        Lack of enthusiasm my arse. Get out and vote and stop being so selfish! Reading that made me really mad. Reading that a sub-human is one point ahead, made me want to scream. Unless you are a repub, there is only one choice, Hillary Clinton. So do something whether you like her or not to save your nation from utter chaos.

        • AdLib says:

          Kalima, unlike the TrumpTrolls, I don’t think polls are skewed but the big swings in them, despite how convicted voters are one way or the other, seems to portray polls as more measurements of immediate emotions than commitments to voting for a candidate.

          That is, they are general indicators but not as accurate as they may seem.

          Consier how quickly alleged Trump voters were so outraged by his taped admission of sexual assault …but once Comey says he’s re-examining Hillary emails, they’re back to supporting Trump?

          Either much of the population are brain damaged and have the memories wiped clean by the latest news or people just communicate their disappointment or anger about the politician who’s most recently attacked in the MSM.

          My proposition is that the race has possibly been around the same margin for Hillary for some time and continues too be so but the emotional meter of the polls makes it look like it’s been rising and falling dramatically.

          I think that the temporarily discouraged Trump voters who expressed that in polls up until Friday were going to vote for him anyway even if they said otherwise. Same with the post-Comey Hillary voters, the effect of Comey’s outrageous stunt is fading now and the same voters who were going too vote for Hillary will be doing so.

          Unfortunately, a smaller margin of victory for Hillary may have been the real “poll” all along, people have just been jerked around by the illogically big swings in polls that may only be mirroring the negative emotions and not the voting plans for many who have been polled.

  6. pinkpantheroz says:

    I am assuming that MI6 will be investigated for any involvement in the English Mustard found in the vicinity. There are no indications as yet that the ham and the mustard combined in any illegal fashion, but it would be wrong not to bring it up, especially with the sensitivity around Brexit.

    Oh, and perhaps the Bundes Kriminal Amt can check out the sauerkraut and pickle.

    • AdLib says:

      PPO -- Word is that the ham was also on Russian rye and had French dressing so Interpol has been brought into the investigation.

    • Kalima says:

      There is nothing quite as decadently satisfying as homemade Sauerkraut mit Eisbein. Does that make me ein Kriminal?

      • Fuzzy Dunlop says:

        Schweinshaxe?

        • Kalima says:

          Absolutely Herr Fuzzy. Traditionally it is pig’s trotter, but as a chlld I wouldn’t eat it imagining pigs without feet, so my grandmother used loin just for me. The roasted Knusprige Schweinshaxe is the best. Pity I’m going to England instead of Germany. I just made myself hungry. :-)

      • AdLib says:

        If you’re not a white male, yes.

        • Kalima says:

          I’m peachy, have quite a deep voice, but no one would mistake me for a man. I would hate to be a white man so afraid of anyone but other white men who would sink low enough and accept the implications of voting for a squealing pig.

          • Nirek says:

            Kalima, as a white man, I am ashamed of the white men who support trump. Just like any group, you can’t paint us all with the same brush.

            • Kalima says:

              I know that, Nirek but I was talking about those voting for trump and have never painted any group of people with the same brush. These are the haters and trump has given them the legitimacy to show their true selves.

              As I wrote here months ago, trump’s slogan of ” Make America Great Again” is actually code for, “Make America Hate Again.”

              Peace.

          • AdLib says:

            Kalima, I don’t think anyone would confuse you for a white man!

            Unfortunately, racism and hatred is irresistible for the ignorant white people out there and Trump is the vehicle for expressing that. There is little resembling critical thinking in those who would vote for Trump. He’s clearly lying to them about everything but they want those lies to be true so badly, they override any sense of reason. For them, it’s all about blind faith in the con man to transform 2016 into a 1950s that never existed.

            In the back of mu mind, I kind of wish all Trump supporters could be sucked into an alternative universe where Trump won and the country and world came apart. But instead of focusing on their just desserts, I am focused on winning this election and crushing the racists and haters like the cockroaches they are.


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