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AdLib On August - 31 - 2015

get a brain

For many people whose childhood hobbies didn’t include glue sniffing and playing the drums with their head, it’s been hard to understand why so many people in the Republican Party are supporting such candidates as Donald Trump and Ben Carson.

So, in the pursuit of bringing people together through understanding, PlanetPOV has interviewed a variety of Republicans to share their perspectives on why they support the GOP candidates that they do.

SUPPORTERS OF DONALD TRUMP:

  1. Cindy White: “Like a lot of my friends, I’m sick of politicians telling me what I want to hear then going to DC and ignoring their promises. What I like about Mr. Trump is that he says the things I want to hear and one of those things is that he’ll keep his promises!”
  2. Mike Travers: “Our country is being destroyed by poor people sponging off our government. I may be 72, retired, disabled and living off of Welfare, Social Security, Section 8 Housing and Medicare but I’m not too weak to stand up with Trump against those lousy takers in this country!”
  3. Lonnie Rawlings: “We finally have someone running for President who isn’t owned by the wealthy. Instead, as President, Trump will do what he wants to do, not what some egotistical, media hungry billionaire would want done.”
  4. Scott Harvey: “I like Trump because like me and all of my klan, he doesn’t care about being politically correct. I think the majority of voters, whether they’re s****s, c****s, n*****s, k***s,c****s or f*****s, also appreciate that and would vote for him for President.”
  5. Karl Yostremsky: “I’m someone who cares a lot about issues but don’t bore me yappin’ about all them details. That’s why Trump is right for me, he’ll tell you he’ll make you rich if he gets to be President and that he’ll crush China, Russia and Iran and keep them damn illegals out but he don’t confuse you with tellin’ you how he’d do it. Don’t bother me explainin’ how somethin’ would work, that’s your job, just promise me you’ll make my dick bigger and that I’ll be able to fly and you got my vote just on the issues!”

ben carson2

BEN CARSON SUPPORTERS:

  1. Clark Strauss: “I’ve been a fan of Ben Carson for some time because he is so smart and has a real gift for seeing things how things really are. Whether it’s when he said that Obamacare is the worst thing that’s happened to America since slavery or that we live in a Nazi society, he’s a man of reason.”
  2. Tim Nutter: “Carson is a brain surgeon so he knows how people think. That’s why he knows that being gay is a choice and why he called Obama a “psychopath”. It’s time we had a black guy in the White House…who’s not a psychopath.”
  3. Christopher Matthews: The brilliant Ben Carson should be President. Who else recognized the similarities between our Founders and ISIS? And the similarities between gays, pedophilia and bestiality? Not to mention how taking AP History classes could lead to joining ISIS. He’s brilliant, brilliant!”
  4. Don Barnes: “He proved that he has what it takes to be President when he insulted Obama at a prayer breakfast. Carson says his role model is Jesus and that’s exactly what Jesus would do. Along with hating gays, women and Latinos.”
  5. David Duke: “Dr. Ben Carson reflects the same views on race that I have and I have to say, it’s a relief to see a black Republican denigrate black people for a change. We’ve come a long way, climbed a tall mountain to get to the point where racists can be judged by the content of their racism, not by the color of their skin. Carson 2016!”

jeb bush

JEB BUSH SUPPORTERS:

  1. Maggie Helms: “I’m not the kind of person who likes to follow the crowd or popular trends. So I’m supporting Jeb!”
  2. Henry Loomis: Everyone knows that the third sequel to a movie is the best. Godfather 3? Superman 3? See what I mean? Bush 1 was a good ride, Bush 2 was a wild rollercoaster, Bush 3 will be like the end of the world! And Bush 4 and 5? Jenna and Barbara, I can’t wait!!!”
  3. Allen Finch: “I’m elderly with a heart condition, I can’t go for anything too exciting or competitive so Jeb naturally appeals to me. I especially like how tired and nervous he always looks, he reminds me of me.”
  4. Rita Norris: “I like how flexible Jeb Bush is in his policies. He can be prejudiced against Latino babies one day but change to being against Asian babies the next day when it makes more political sense. I’m eagerly awaiting what race of babies he’ll hate next, my bet is Armenian!”
  5. Nick Hades: “When you think about how close Jeb’s brother came to truly destroying the economies and stability of the world, it was such a disappointment. He nearly did it! We’re just one Bush away from The Apocalypse, we can’t miss this opportunity. Here in Hades, all you see are “Jeb!” signs. Hell For Bush 2016!”

Written by AdLib

My motto is, "It is better to have blogged and lost hours of your day, than never to have blogged at all."

20 Responses so far.

Click here to leave a comment
  1. LightningJoe says:

    Yawning ignorance. Howling stupidity. Have I missed anything?

  2. Kalima says:

    This is wonderful, AdLib.

    The scary thing is that I have read similar comments from Trump supporters that leave me speechless. You have to wonder why these people deserve the right to vote when those who really want to vote and make a difference are caught up in the Republican voter suppression grid.

    Thank goodness it’s only 10 to 11% of them. I can honestly say that none of them seem to love or respect their country, and have zero compassion for the rest of country. They are the new tea party known as “the tea potty”. Potty as for crazy.

    —-

    A Deep Dive Into Trump’s Poll Numbers Shows That Most Pundits Get It Wrong.

    http://www.nationalreview.com/article/422924/donald-trump-poll-data-frontrunner-republicans

    —-

    Carson is a loose cannon, and Jeb is more boring than watching ice melt.

    This is like something from a “black comedy” movie that you are not quite sure if you should laugh at or not.

    I laugh at your articles because I love and appreciate your sense of humour, but laughing about the ignorance and stupidity of actual voters is no longer all that funny.

    Thanks for the laugh.

  3. kesmarn says:

    Not only are the comments of these “voters” perfect, I love the names you gave them, AdLib. Tim Nutter. David Duke. Christopher Matthews. Perfect!

    My favorite group is the Jeb Bush crew. “He reminds me of me.”

    😆

    • AdLib says:

      Thanks Kes! I tried to pepper the funny names with real names, to add a little surprise to them.

      Well, wasn’t the old GW Bush meme, “Someone you’d want to have a beer with”? Jeb seems like someone you’d have almond milk with.

      And Trump? Someone you’d like to have hara-kiri with.

  4. Nirek says:

    Ad, there is no accounting for some “morons”. I just hope that the “stupid”people forget to vote.
    KT is right, “you can’t fix stupid”.

    Again you seem to make the truth look like it should be fiction.

  5. monicaangela says:

    Thank you for this poll AdLib, it describes a perfect case…every voter represented in your article is what I call stuck on stupid. LOL! I realize they are fictional, but I know plenty of people that could legitimately fill in the spaces of your fictional characters.

    “We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.”

    ~~~~~Benjamin Franklin

    • AdLib says:

      Thanks monicaangela!

      And yes, the Repubs do work very hard to hold onto their ignorance! Just saw on Maddow in today’s PPP poll that only 14% of Repubs believe Obama is a Christian and only 29% believe he was born in the U.S..

      You can’t buy such stupidity, you get it the old fashioned way, you earn it.

      • monicaangela says:

        I saw that show last night also. I love the way Rachel has fun with this poll. It’s really sad though, more Repubs believe Cruz was born in America than Obama…wow, something has gone horribly wrong in this nation. :)

        • AdLib says:

          It’s part of their master plan, destroying the level of education over decades to manufacture morons that can be easily manipulated.

          Not all Repubicans are morons but most morons seem to be Republicans.

          • monicaangela says:

            What’s even more scary is the fact that many of these morons are college educated. Not all of them are backwoods Tea Party generals. :)

    • in the immortal words of Ron White, “You can’t fix stupid.”

  6. sillylittleme says:

    Ad, thanks for tickling my funny bone. The BF says it was hilarious!!

  7. gyp46 says:

    the depth of stupid is astounding in America, even in fun it’s scary!

    • AdLib says:

      gyp46, just when you think you’ve found the lowest point of their stupidity, they surprise you! So even when you try to ridicule it in a parody, tomorrow, it’ll just seem like hitting the nail on the head!

  8. Parsifals says:

    Some funny voters we have in the USA, huh!


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