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AdLib On October - 20 - 2014

ebola suits

In an unprecedented action, CNN, MSNBC and Fox News have filed a joint lawsuit against the disease, Ebola, for $2.3 billion alleging they are incurring financial damages due to Ebola’s under-performance and as they term it, “irresponsible behavior unfitting a killer virus”.

This comes on the heels of the Center for Disease Control announcing today that 44 of 48 people have been cleared of being under watch for Ebola after having contact with Thomas Eric Duncan who died of Ebola in Dallas.

Roger Ailes defended the lawsuit, explaining, “Look, at Fox we know a thing or two about virulent public threats to our nation and in our opinion, ebola has shown incredibly bad faith by not fulfilling its responsibilities to the fear-based news structure upon which the entire U.S.’s media networks are based. And to the media, that’s scary.”

Jeff Zucker, president of CNN Worldwide, added, “We trusted Ebola, we looked for the worst in it, investing a great deal of resources in slashing our staff while promoting boundless terror in Ebola’s name and this is the thanks we get? 44 of 48 don’t get Ebola? And the other 4 may be cleared soon? Really? We’ve got ads to sell to oil companies trying to put a good face on spreading cancer through fracking, they don’t want to be associated with something as disrespectable as Ebola.”

MSNBC President Phil Griffin expressed dismay at Ebola’s failure to provide an actual epidemic as they and the other news stations promoted. “In any partnership situation, if one party can’t trust the other to perform, it is a breech of faith and an actionable breech of contract. Ebola has happily taken all the publicity we’ve delivered on its behalf and when it came time for Ebola to deliver, it came up way short. When we add up the amount we’ve spent in scary graphics, threatening intro music and acting lessons for our show’s hosts to look grim and unnerved over Ebola sweeping the nation, it’s quite  substantial. We and the other networks are suing because of the incredible losses we’ve suffered due to Americans not suffering incredible losses.”

Meanwhile, it was also announced today that attorney Mark O’Mara, who was the defense attorney for George Zimmerman, will be representing Ebola in this lawsuit. O’Mara declared, “Some may ask me why I would represent an unrepentant killing virus that threatens the piece of mind of millions of Americans and I tell them that George Zimmerman was entitled to a defense. As for Ebola, our position is that these news networks looked suspicious and attacked my client first so it had every right to respond as it did in self-defense.”

Ebola has filed a counter-suit claiming that being associated with CNN, MSNBC and Fox News has harmed its reputation.

Written by AdLib

My motto is, "It is better to have blogged and lost hours of your day, than never to have blogged at all."

30 Responses so far.

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  1. Harleigh says:

    PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT! This is a WARNING to all of my Republican friends! ALL of the polling precincts and ballots across our great land of freedom and democracy have been infected with EBOLA by Obama. The only way to avoid contamination and death is to stay at home and away from those places and documents for 21 days until the danger has passed or you may die! Please pass this warning on to everyone you know!

  2. UncleB says:

    “The beatings will continue until morale improves”
    — author unknown

    “The fear-mongering will continue until ratings improve”
    — modern day Media (?)

    : (

  3. I thought this little tid bit from an article in Salon about Ted Cruz whining about not having a confirmed Surgeon General, and an ebola pandemic at the same time, quite fitting for your hilarious piece, Ad.

    “But as good and decent and indicative of a functioning legislature as it would be to have a confirmed Surgeon General in place, let’s not pretend like it makes any difference in the supposedly epoch-defining struggle against Ebola (hysteria). There is no way that, as Candy Crowley put it, a Surgeon General would be able to “kind of calm what has become the fear of Ebola.” A couple of people in the United States have gotten the virus yet everyone is freaking out, because it’s an election season and the media famously sucks. There’s no stopping that train.”

    • AdLib says:

      KT -- The point is well made but as far as whether a Surgeon General’s attempt to calm the public would work…it couldn’t hurt.

      There is indeed a disgusting alliance between the corporate news industry and the GOP on Ebola, both see it as profitable to distort as a terrifying epidemic about to explode.

      I doubt the Founders had this in mind when they wrote the 1st Amendment.

      • goleafsgo says:

        AdLib…”it couldn’t hurt” is right. I think that most Americans pay little attention to politics ( judging from the turnouts for elections) as they are so busy with just surviving each day, but I would be surprised if they did not know about Ebola and feel panic about what is being done to protect them. Many people will remember the Surgeon General’s warning about cigarettes and give credence to his medical knowledge. I think they would see the new Surgeon General as a credible medical authority who represents their best interest.

      • Ad, I suppose I should have posted a link to the article. It was basically about the GOP whining about not having a Surgeon General in the midst of such an “epidemic.” If three people can be classified as an epidemic. 😉

        They fail to realize (or mention) that we DO have an acting SG. Of course they wouldn’t acknowledge any calming information from him.

        They’re acting like spoiled kids again in regards to the president’s nomination for SG and won’t confirm him because he said something “bad,” about guns. He had the audacity to say they were a public health problem (as death and severe bodily injury tend to be), so now the NRA has their noses all out of joint and their GOPer minions are siding with the NRA, of course.

        Anywho, here’s the link;

        http://www.salon.com/2014/10/21/ted_cruzs_surgeon_general_lunacy_how_hes_resorted_to_embarrassing_lies/

  4. Funny stuff Ad and not too far from reality. Our news media these days is exactly what was described with such prescience in the great film “Network.”

    The news media has become a real parody of it’s former self. What’s going on today with them and the general viewers of these outlets is something very weird.

    So many people now have a lot of time on their hands, for various reasons like unemployment, retirement, illnesses….etc. The news outlets, at least the cable news outlets have way more time than they need and have to fill their hours with content. Twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. These hours are filled with vacuous debate about some of the most trivial aspects of life in America.

    When these outlets get a real news story, like ebola coming to the US, they lose all perspective and just go on a feeding frenzy that helps fill all the unnecessary hours they have to broadcast. They have to whip up the tension, the suspense, the drama, the paranoia….etc. Their goal is to keep their audience glued to their screens, on the edge of their seats! Pass the popcorn and damn the truth, this shit is entertainment!

    • AdLib says:

      KT, what gets me is the dichotomy between people being so cynical about what they hear on tv while selectively investing their beliefs in some of what they hear on tv.

      At the same time that the MSM was fear mongering about Ebola, the Pbama Admin, the CDC and doctors and scientists all around the country were trying to tell the public that this is not the start of an epidemic and they have next to nothing to worry about. And yet, the public bought into the fear like mice blindly running to the cheese.

      There are two parties to blame in this, the corporate media and the people out there who don’t know how to use their own common sense. I mean, if you knew someone who was proven to have lied to you repeatedly about how something’s coming to kill you, most reasonable people would stop believing them.

      So why do so many people keep believing the corporate news industry when they are constantly proven to be dishonest?

      Americans as a whole should have a simple policy, trust those who aren’t proven to lie and exaggerate repeatedly and distrust those who are…especially those with power.

      • I will say that people I talk too aren’t too worried about ebola. Granted, I don’t talk to that many people, in person, but I see a lot of people on the more reasonable sites talking about how overblown this whole thing has been.

        Of course the Yahoos and Bubbas are buying into it, big time. You know, the usual dupes.

  5. funksands says:

    As of this writing, more people have been married to Kim Kardashian than have died from Ebola in the United States.

    Great piece Ad, I really enjoyed it!

  6. pinkpantheroz says:

    Ad, what a triumph! Indeed, this sure proves that the pen is a much scarier weapon than the sword, or disease, or rising sea levels, or any other phobia you care to name.

    It is also a sad indictment of the intelligence of the average citizen. They cannot seem to comprehend that there is no epidemic, that the one outbreak has been controlled and that there are no hordes of ebola-ridden people flooding into the US. The fear mongers will, despite all reason, ‘keep up the skeer’ to those poor dimwits who will rush out to buy useless facemasks, hazmat suits and lots of guns and ammo to keep their kin safe. Shows how far down into the ooze Murdoch and his minions have slid. God help us if there ever is a pandemic.

    • AdLib says:

      Hey Funk, thanks so much for the props!

      I think part of the problem with many Americans, why they buy into the MSM fear mongering, is that they have grown up in a country where the media used to be trusted and the common thinking about them was, “They can only tell us what’s true.”

      It’s kind of like how people go to doctors and treat them and every word they say as golden.

      I think it’s hard for many people to go through their lives accepting that they walk on shifting sands, that you have to question anything that comes your way when there’s a possibility of conflicting motivations.

      Mainly, I think many Americans are more accustomed to accepting things on faith and not employing reason, especially when emotions are at play.

      If one was to zoom out in a temporal way and watch all the phony panics the media portrays that the public reacts to, kind of like a perverse Simon Says where the MSM says, “Look! Something’s coming to get you! Run that way! Look, something else is coming to get you! Run this way!” and we could see a society blindly running from one end of a room to another in panic…with nothing chasing them, it would display what’s going on.

      Y2K, Avian Flu, Killer bees, The Mayan Calendar ending, planetary convergence, zombie apocalypse…throughout avery year, the corporate fear machine manufactures one boogie man after another to scare Americans into watching more of their channels and bringing them greater profits.

      My instinct when these hysterias start is to watch less tv and follow things on the internet more. After all, who needs to hear political pundits who blame Obama for eclipses, talk like an expert about something they have absolutely no education on.

      I actually think America is well prepared for a pandemic, they’ve been practicing run throughs for so long…

      • monicaangela says:

        That about sums it up AdLib. I sure wish more people would consider looking at other venues for their news. The MSM appears to be nothing more than an infomercial these days. An infomercial designed to sell their product. When we speak of greedy corporate America, we have to remember they and those that own them are right up there at the top of that list. :)

    • monicaangela says:

      I couldn’t agree more with your comment PPO! Truth, God help us if we in this nation or the world for that matter should ever undergo a real pandemic.

  7. monicaangela says:

    WOW!!!! You knocked it out of the park with this one AdLib!!

    What are we to do about the MSM? That is the question. I read the article, and could actually envision all the cases and facts you represented for and against the unrepentant virus as truth. The characters you portray as those with a bone to pick are perfect, the fear-mongering networks and their leadership are portrayed perfectly. And, also too, the actual reason for the lawsuit is so spot on it’s uncanny. Why does the MSM choose to alarm the public every chance they get? FEAR SELLS.

    “The only rule that ever made sense to me I learned from a history, not an economics, professor at Wharton. “Fear,” he used to say, “fear is the most valuable commodity in the universe.” That blew me away. “Turn on the TV,” he’d say. “What are you seeing? People selling their products? No. People selling the fear of you having to live without their products.” Fuckin’ A, was he right. Fear of aging, fear of loneliness, fear of poverty, fear of failure. Fear is the most basic emotion we have. Fear is primal. Fear sells.”
    ~~~~~~~― Max Brooks

    Your article is very funny, but the truth of it makes me very sad. When will we have Truth in Media, something similar to Truth in Advertising. (When consumers see or hear an advertisement, whether it’s on the Internet, radio or television, or anywhere else, federal law says that ad must be truthful, not misleading, and, when appropriate, backed by scientific evidence. The Federal Trade Commission enforces these truth-in-advertising laws, and it applies the same standards no matter where an ad appears – in newspapers and magazines, online, in the mail, or on billboards or buses. The FTC looks especially closely at advertising claims that can affect consumers’ health or their pocketbooks – claims about food, over-the-counter drugs, dietary supplements, alcohol, and tobacco and on conduct related to high-tech products and the Internet, such as the dissemination of spyware. The FTC also monitors and writes reports about ad industry practices regarding marketing of food, violent movies, music, and electronic games to children). We need this same scrutiny and more when it comes to the MSM.

    I have to compliment you on your description of O’Mara’s reason for taking the Zimmerman case and your description of George Zimmerman in one fell swoop…Kudos to you, what a perfect description. LOL !!!

    Thanks for this article, I would truly love for every citizen in this nation to have the opportunity to read and reflect upon this article and what it is trying to convey. We no longer have integrity in news reporting, we instead have a 24/7 commercial designed to imitate what might have been what we used to consider the Morning, Afternoon, or Evening News. Sad commentary for a nation that considers itself an empire, number one among nations, and worthy of having people be angry with it just because they envy our way of life and our freedom of choice….what a laugh.

    • AdLib says:

      monicaangela, thank you for your wonderful comment, you really expanded upon all these issues so well.

      It is sad but true that fear is indeed the most powerful of all motivators and tools to use on human beings and it is a disgrace that our corporate-minded news media has so cynically and transparently embraced it as a necessary income generator.

      The problem with the FTC’s Truth in Advertising law is that, of course, it only applies to advertising. Citizens have no recourse if news medias lie and use propaganda, having a law against that would be seen by the SCOTUS as violating the 1st Amendment. All we have to address these yellow journalism outlets are our remotes.

      Cheers on the props on O’Mara! When I thought of who might represent something disgusting, he popped up right at the front of the line.

      There’s kind of a disconnect when it comes to the public awareness of how corrupt the corporate news word is, we can watch The Daily Show or Colbert and knowingly nod as they point out what hucksters, liars and frauds they are…yet many still cooperate with allowing them to scare them or manipulate their perceptions.

      Cognitive dissonance, that’s what seems to describe America’s mindset when it comes to the MSM.

  8. Nirek says:

    Too funny Ad, you get a belly laugh from me.

    Cable “news” is anything but NEWS! They give opinions like I do here. However I don’t claim to be giving news, just my opinions.

    • AdLib says:

      Thanks Nirek, that belly laugh is good as gold to me!

      The MSM “news” does sell opinions as news but what’s worse is they push propaganda in a wholly immoral way, just for greater profits. They should be sued for false advertising by calling themselves “the news”.

  9. GreenChica says:

    Hilarious, Adlib. I loved CNN’s big headline today, about how the hysteria is spreading much faster than the disease. As if they had nothing to do with it.

    • monicaangela says:

      Spot on GreenChica, it’s uncanny how they try to play with the minds of the citizens of this nation and the world for that matter….unbelievable. :)

    • AdLib says:

      GC, thanks so much!

      That’s the strategy we’ve seen, these “news” channels spread fear and panic that’s totally unjustified then when that fraud is exploded, they make the story about the fear and panic they’ve whipped up as if it’s new to them. What does that remind me of? Oh yeah…


  10. MurphTheSurf3 says:

    Perfecto Mundo!!!! Ad Lib.

    This little gem is being relayed to Yabberz and Daily Kos.

    It is the piece that I wish I had written (but will get some credit for by association!)

    I recall how angry the national media was at Ford after his pardoning of Nixon and how they set out to ruin his image and his campaign and to elevate a very unprepared peanut farmer who could not have won a second term in Georgia to an exalted level.

    • AdLib says:

      Cheers, Murph, thanks so much!

      It’s not a new thing, some of the press has practiced yellow journalism and acted not as a source bringing news but fabricating news to manipulate the masses.

      It’s a little different today because in the past, it seemed just motivated by egotism and a lust for power by the media owner but today, the greed of the corporate media makes them so irresponsible and ready to fabricate news sometimes just for profit.

      Too bad that Swine Flu, Killer Bees and Ebola can’t file a class action suit against the MSM for defamation.


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