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AdLib On August - 15 - 2014

satan vacation

Earlier today, Satan held a press conference in what was first believed to be Hell but later was revealed to be Fox News host Sean Hannity’s dressing room, to announce that for the first time ever, he would be taking a vacation.

“Don’t see why  I can’t finally take a few weeks off. I mean, who’s gonna notice? ” Satan remarked, dressed in a pair of khaki shorts and a faded “McCain/Palin 2008” t-shirt. “I mean, who’s going to miss me when they’ve got militarized police going rougue, ISIS massacring thousands, Israel and Hamas firing rockets at each other’s populations, Climate Change causing worldwide droughts, ebola…hey, it’s like checking off every item on your Christmas list…if you celebrated Christmas that is.”

When asked if it would strange to him, to be on vacation, Satan explained, “I have become accustomed to being in horrific surroundings…so I booked a Carnival Cruise.”  Satan added, “You know, a demon of mine said, ‘Dude,  but while you’re gone, who’s gonna tempt people to act on their worst instincts?’ I asked him, ‘You never heard of the Republican Party?’ Hey, ask the kids crossing the border about that one! Or women and minorities, the poor and vulnerable, even a black president…in fact, I’ve got a good mind to sue them for copyright infringement! Just joking, keep up the good work, boys!”

Satan said that after his cruise down the Mississippi to Saint Louis, he’ll join a tour group in Israel going to Gaza, backpack through Ukraine and Russia and hike up a mountain in Iraq.

“Death gets to take a holiday and I have to sit through his vacation pictures,” Satan remarked. “About time it was my turn to let my horns down.”

 

Written by AdLib

My motto is, "It is better to have blogged and lost hours of your day, than never to have blogged at all."

33 Responses so far.

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  1. Kalima says:

    Sorry I’m so late. :(


    Incredibly funny and wicked, AdLib. When it got to the last sentence, “About time it was my turn to let my horns down”, I let out a loud snort and dug in my hooves. Being a bull I know just how he feels. 😉

    I know it is not Thanksgiving there yet, but I must say that I was very thankful that I had a zoom to use on your graphic, and will leave it at that. 😳

    Thanks for the constant laughs in a world that brings so much sadness and grief.

  2. pinkpantheroz says:

    I hear that he flew United, just to be with the other poor devils enduring that torture.

  3. SearingTruth says:

    “If it’s Gods will, why is your finger on the trigger?”
    SearingTruth

    A Future of the Brave

  4. kesmarn says:

    Absolutely wonderful as always, AdLib.

    Have you heard the latest breaking news, though?

    Word’s out on the wire services that Satan’s tour bus broke down in the middle of Sierra Leone. He’d neglected to get his Ebola vaccine, so he’s confined to the bus for the duration. Food, water and air conditioning are in short supply. He’s quoted as saying that it’s a considerable improvement over the week he spent in Wasilla at the Palin household, though.

  5. Well Ad, you probably don’t know this about me, but I am a travel agent. Satan came to me, with his travel plans and sought my services. I had to tell him, NO WAY, because he wanted to pay me with Bitcoins! 😯

  6. monicaangela says:

    Question?????

    Why are there only young men surrounding Satan in that pool in the picture above? Is this going to be an all male vacation for Satan? Or, is the artist trying to subliminally project an idea into the minds of the viewer? :)

  7. SearingTruth says:

    Brilliantly introspective, and tragic, gentle friend AdLib.

    You are a treasure of humanity.
    ST

    “They never gave me a plan.

    Just a purpose.”
    SearingTruth

    A Future of the Brave

  8. EXFANOFARIANA says:

    LMAO literally….Will post further comment when I am off!XX

  9. monicaangela says:

    Satan is known as the great deceiver, don’t be deceived….Satan never takes a vacation. Why do you think he happened to be in Hannity’s dressing room? Satan uses Demons…I betcha Hannity is probably one of them….as a matter of fact, over at Faux News he probably has an entire army. So if you see “Satan” on vacation, it is probably just a member of his Faux News principality you know, an imposter used to make the rest of us think we might get a breather….don’t believe it.

    Thanks for the comedy AdLib, it helps take our minds off some of the drama that seems to have encompassed the world. Even if it is only for a moment. :)

    • AdLib says:

      Hey monicaangela, yep, it seemed like a good time to try and lighten the load a little.

      True, rust never sleeps and neither does evil, they both keep corroding whatever they touch.

      Satan did give me an inside tip, don’t tell anyone but since Rupert Murdoch was stopped in merging with Time Warner, he has approached Satan, who was on a consultancy agreement with Fox, to merge Fox with hell.

      Fox News’ new motto will be, “Fox News -- The Official Station From Hell -- Fear and Unbalanced!”. Satan had wanted his own show but after seeing Fox and Friends, he thought it would be redundant.

  10. Nirek says:

    Ad, if it were not so close to the truth, it would be funny.

  11. sillylittleme says:

    Thanks for the laugh, Ad. But I was wondering if you could have found a better picture of Satan. After all, don’t the Rs usually keep their rent-boys on the QT…

    • AdLib says:

      slm -- Satan texted me the photo I used, it’s the only one I have of him not devouring a soul (IOW, no Republicans were ever in the shot).

      Satan did want me to share that he is very Progressively minded and that all people are welcome to go to Hell no matter their sexual orientation or preferences. He is an Equal Opportunity Employer of Everlasting Agony.

  12. NoManIsAnIsland says:

    LOL, AdLib, but if it’s not too late for you to get a message to
    Satan, please warn him when he gets to St. Louis not to stop in Ferguson. It may still be too hot there for even his comfort! 😉

    • AdLib says:

      NoMan, it’s never too late, I have a good relationship with Satan and God, they’re both great at returning my calls and came to my housewarming (they both brought a ficus as a gift, it was pretty funny).

      I did pass along your warning to him and he asked me to thank you for reminding him, he almost forgot to pack his sunblock.

      • NoManIsAnIsland says:

        Thanks, AdLib, and wow — great catch!

        Just imagine Satan with a sunburn — he’d be
        in agony, but no one could tell why!

  13. RSGmusic says:

    OK a 10 again AdLib,
    Yea the world is a place full of war with weapons and politics.

    Again yes, the GOP is at war with everyone who is not old and white.
    They are even against their own republican voters. Also Women the LGBT community, minorities,wage hikes, extensions for the unemployed. They are not for unions, not for equal pay,food stamps and welfare etc ,etc.
    THe GOP is the Isis of the USA

    The GOP is mainly descendants of illegal aliens any way. They are all for keeping everybody else to immigrate to the USA.
    Now super tanks in each city why not missile launchers. Police dressed in tank gear.

    Satan does need a 10 million yr vacation. Let him sail on Princess cruise lines though!

    Live long and prosper!!

    A synthesizer can create any instrument made and others that have not be created yet.


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