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AdLib On July - 25 - 2014

Boehner Obama

House Speaker John Boehner announced today that he will be spearheading a new bill that will, in advance, impeach all Democrats who become President. Boehner claims that this will result in greatly freeing up the time of a Republican led House of Representatives so they can spend more time on more important bills that help the American people, chuckling as he finished that sentence.

As part of the promotion of this bill, Boehner produced a spreadsheet showing how many hundreds of millions in taxpayer money would be saved over the next ten years by House Republicans not having to spend most of their time trying to find a scandal that sticks to each future Democratic President.

“We discussed this amongst the GOP leadership and realized that as long as we’re going to try to impeach every Democrat President that gets elected, we ought to be efficient about it and do it all in one fell swoop,” Boehner explained. “Obama may lead from behind but we’re going to show that instead, Republicans can take it from behind and reach around to to the future.”

The bill is constructed so that a form-letter-type declaration of impeachment will be automatically generated by The House on the same day that any Democrat is inaugurated into the Presidency. The declaration uses blank lines in the areas where charges against a future Democratic President should appear, and terms like “Enter Scandal Here”, “List Connections to Terrorists” and “Fill In Traitorous Act” are placed  beneath the blanks, in parentheses. The section asking for a bodily function and the name of a farm animal does seem to betray that the bill may indeed have been adapted from a page out of a Mad Libs book.

When asked if such a bill would show that Republicans simply want to undo democracy whenever someone from the other party is elected, Boehner yelled incoherently about the liberal media, Obamacare and how scotch makers could fill their bottles a little more before capping them.

Republicans in The House are anticipated to pass this bill next week, after their investigation into Obama’s birth certificate being forged by a socialist Fast and Furious agent who pals around with terrorists in Benghazi is completed.

 

Written by AdLib

My motto is, "It is better to have blogged and lost hours of your day, than never to have blogged at all."

24 Responses so far.

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  1. jjgravitas says:

    The Impeach and/or Sue President Obama thing is so completely laughable. They’ve only resorted to this because there is absolutely nothing to that the GOP can “get” him on. Benghazi was a bust. The ACA works despite routine criticism. Republican states are suffering due to their own GOP politicians. The fiasco involving masses of illegal immigrant children showing up at the Texas Border is the responsibility of Texas and its governor, Rick Oops Perry.

  2. RSGmusic says:

    HI Adlib, sorry for being late in the conversation.
    Yes the humor is good but subtle in origin. Perhaps i have not read enough of your articles. this one is a 10.

    Honest opinion on republicans. They have become to small a party and must depend on lies to make news. This bill may pass the house and will make the senate answer. Essentially an automatic filibuster club.
    This does not help them get more work done and never will, They have no NEW idea’s. You can predict everything coming out of all site that are conservative.

    When a party can not get elected much but in the red states they are going to fade and then have to try anything to fire up more then there base.

    I saw a poll that was so pro republican about Obama approval rating it hurt to laugh.

    In the future when a DEM Presidential candidate is white they are going to lose big time. Many of there base cross over will go back to a white president on the democratic side.

  3. GreenChica says:

    I wonder if Boney remembers his history. From CNN:
    “After President Bill Clinton in 1998 became only the second president to be impeached, his public approval hit 73%, the highest rating of his administration, according to a CNN/USA Today/Gallup poll.”

  4. PollyTics says:

    Sometimes satire is too close to reality to recognize the difference…

  5. kevinbr38 says:

    An earnest, though not very bright aide to the Speaker, who’s job it is to monitor social media, may see this ‘article’ and forward it to his/her boss.
    The Speaker will slap his forehead while exclaiming in his cigarette-scotch-induced baritone voice….
    “Damn, why didn’t someone think of this sooner?”

  6. Kalima says:

    Great laugh again, AdLib, although they are crazy enough to suggest it.

    Looking at the graphic, Boehner looks quite manic, so I imagined the conversation to go something like this.

    The President addressing Boehner in a dimly lit Washington bar full of other sour looking Repubs after another tiring day of trying to repeal Obamacare for the 100th time.

    “Hey John, why the long face? Come on everybody, cheer up. Just to show there are no hard feelings, the shrinks are on the House!”

    • AdLib says:

      Thanks Kalima! Very funny but Boehner might be they type to Shrink and Drive!

      It would be fascinating to see secret video of the times Boehner has met with Obama, wonder if he’d just let down all the BS and say, “Hey, I’d like to help but you see what crazy nutbags I have to serve! I mean they are such absolute assholes! Anyway, sorry but I have to go back to being Head Asshole now and sue you, what are you gonna do?”

  7. pinkpantheroz says:

    I understand that the White House will be countering this by printing millions of Executive Orders vetoing anything from Republicans whether it does the country good or not, as well as disbanding the SCOTUS for good and declaring a Sharia Law Dictatorship ( works in Iran, why not here?). Billions of taxpayer dollars saved by firing the whole Congress as well. The freed up money will be invested in revamping NASCAR, requiring all scantily clad females to wear burkahs, making those attendees grow beards ( already in progress, from the look of them…..) and banning all religions other than Money. Do a Putin and declare Canada is now part of the USA because they also speak English (sort of).

    • AdLib says:

      ppo -- Now that is what I call an exposed agenda of this imperial Kenyan President! Well done, PPO!

      This new slashing of spending of tax dollars seems so smart and in keeping with the Republican smart commitment to breaking open the safe in the Titanic after it’s hit the iceberg and is sinking. “We’re kings of the world…until the boat goes down and we sink to the bottom of the ocean and drown because of all the gold we stole and stuffed in all our pockets! Woo-hoo!”

  8. sillylittleme says:

    I’m not sure that that’s the type of reach around the American populace is looking for. Very punny!!

  9. Nirek says:

    Ad, I love the part where. “When asked if such a bill would show that Republicans simply want to undo democracy whenever someone from the other party is elected, Boehner yelled incoherently about the liberal media, Obamacare and how scotch makers could fill their bottles a little more before capping them.”

    Too funny. Thanks for the laugh.


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