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AdLib On May - 7 - 2014

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Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus was joined at a major press conference by House Majority Leader John Boehner, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell and fellow Republicans including Darryl Issa and Ted Cruz to announce that the Republican party had committed to exclusively using a new official language from today onward which they call, Benghazian.

Priebus began by speaking in English to describe the new language those in his party will now be using, “The English language has become so corrupt and liberalized that it’s hardly recognizable today to those with traditional values. Frequently used terms like “Same Sex Marriage”, “In-Vitro Fertilization”, “The Earth is Round” and “Black President” all represent an ongoing assault on the sensibilities of those in our party. So, we enlisted the best Republican minds to create a new language that would better respect and represent Republican values. When that failed, we asked the Koch Brothers to pay $10 million to Frank Luntz who, while undergoing a colonoscopy, quickly turned out the framework for this new language we’ve come to call, ‘Benghazian’. Learning this language is actually very simple because it’s based on English but has one additional rule, in place of every noun, the word “Benghazi”is spoken. In order to demonstrate this language so that you in the press and the American public out there can acclimate to it, from this point onward I will speak in Benghazian.”

Opening the floor to questions, Washington Post reporter Tom Hamburger asked, “Aren’t you concerned that by using a new language, you might have trouble communicating what you want to express to the American people?”

Priebus responded, “No, Benghazis aren’t concerned about that. Benghazis are confident that the American Benghazi will have no trouble understanding the Benghazis that are spoken by Benghazis.”

Annie Lowrey of The New York Times then inquired, “You don’t think speaking in such a way will be confusing?”

Priebus smiled, “Confusing? Is it confusing when a Benghazi swims in the Benghazi? Or when a Benghazi flies in the Benghazi? Among the more well known Benghazis already speaking Benghazian are Benghazi Benghazi, Benghazi Benghazi, Benghazi Benghazi…oh and Benghazi Benghazi. As more and more Benghazis hear famous Benghazis speaking Benghazian, it seems like only a matter of Benghazi until the majority of Bengazis in this Benghazi will be speaking and preferring Benghazian to any other Benghazi. Thank you for your Benghazi, we look forward to speaking with Benghazi soon but right now we have a Benghazi hearing to to attend. Hey…how do you Benghazi Benghazi?”

The group of Republicans swiftly headed for the Capitol amid discussions of pushing further “Benghazi ID” laws and limiting the ability for Benghazis to have a Benghazi after twenty Benghazis.

Written by AdLib

My motto is, "It is better to have blogged and lost hours of your day, than never to have blogged at all."

39 Responses so far.

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  1. jjgravitas says:

    So the GOP has officially given up on fighting “Obamacare,” and have chosen instead to triple-down on beating the dead horse that is Benghazi, in a flimsy ploy to drum up what, voter enthusiasm? Is the Midwest and the South really so gullible that they could be swayed by this single non-issue? And do they know that the GOP has spent over a half-million of our tax dollars on pure obstructionism?

  2. kesmarn says:

    This new language is catching on faster than Rush Limbaugh running after his housekeeper’s drug supply, AdLib.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BnJlw1kCYAAt254.jpg

  3. jjgravitas says:

    To the GOP, Benghazi hearings are like Woodstock festivals. 200 years from now, the GOP will still be holding Benghazi hearings … in flying cars. And they will be holding Benghazi recreations, the way they hold Civil War battle recreations today.

  4. fjb says:

    Is that horse Benghazi still kicking? I thought that after the inquisitions that it died a cupla years ago but the GOtP wants to beat it some more.

    Oh, I forget ObamaCare kinda threw them off so now we are into another slew of lies.
    Love it!

  5. pinkpantheroz says:

    The New National anthem will be from the ancient scrolls of St. Trinian :

    Lovers of Bengha-zi, Gird your armour on,
    Grab the nearest wea-pon, never mind which one.
    The battles to the strong-est, might is always right,
    Trample on the weak-est, glory in their plight!

    Bengha-zi, Bengha-zi, our Ba-ttle Cry,
    Bengha-zi, Bengha-zi will NE-VER die!

    Stride to-wards Benghazi, boldly on your way,
    Never once forget-ting there’s one born every day!
    Let Benghazi be broad-cast, ‘Get Benghazi-‘in First,
    They who draw the sword last, always comes off worst!

    Here’s the link to the tune!


  6. pinkpantheroz says:

    Wonderful! Now we can watch Fox Benghazi and enjoy ‘The O’Reilly Benghazi’, followed by ‘the Kelly Benghazi’ Can’t wait!

  7. NirekJunior says:

    For those who haven’t seen this:


    Yeah…Jon Stewart for President. I’d vote for him. :D

  8. Kalima says:

    I have just written an angry letter to the GOPTP informing them in no uncertain terms, that I do not appreciate the use of my name for the creation of a language only they can understand. Although the majority are too dumb to wipe their own —-- (fill in the blanks).

    Yours sinsneerly,

    Ben Ghazi

    P.S.

    On a much lighter note, very funny, AdLib. :lol:

  9. Nirek says:

    Benghazi, Benghazi!

    Seems that is all the GOP has.

    I find it hard to understand why they care about a few people who knew they were in a dangerous place Benghazi. But they don’t care about Americans who are going without right here in America or the veterans they sent to their wars. They don’t want to take care of them. But they are Benghazi, Benghazi, Benghazi!

    They are upset that our deficit is so high but they keep wasting money on Benghazi!

  10. Laugh out loud funny Ad. There’s a touch of my favorite 20th century American novelist here. I am speaking of Mr. Kurt Vonnegut himself! His Benghazi would be tickled by this Benghazi!

    • AdLib says:

      A big compliment indeed to invoke Mr. Vonnegut! Thanks KT!

      I feel a song coming on…

      “Hello, I must Benghazi!
      I cannot stay,
      I came to say
      I must Benghazi.
      I’m glad I came
      but just the same
      I must Benghazi.

      For my sake you must stay,
      for if you go away,
      you’ll spoil this party
      I am throwing.

      I’ll stay a week or two,
      I’ll stay the summer through,
      but I am telling you,
      I must Benghazi.”


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