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AdLib On January - 22 - 2014

Christie Turkey

A musical interlude for your Wednesday.

With Chris Christie-sized apologies to Simon and Garfunkel, submitted for your entertainment is an adaptation of their classic, “Bridge Over Troubled Waters”, dedicated to New Jersey’s current governor and future convict.

BRIDGE INTO TROUBLED WATERS

When you’re Christie
Stealing all
When schemes are in your eye
(The FB)I will find them all

Time’s not on your side
When crimes get rough
And alibis just won’t come
Like a bridge into troubled water
I will play me dumb
Like a bridge into troubled water
I will play me dumb

When you’re bound to run
When you’re in the lead
When polling falls so hard
(The FB)I will come for you

You’ll take the fall
When subpoenas come
And claims made by a chum
Like a bridge into troubled water
I will play me dumb
Like a bridge into troubled water
I will play me dumb

Rail on  Surrogate Guys,
Rail on by
Your time is done to shill
The Fed teams are on their way

See how they smile
If you need false hope
Fox’s sailing right behind
But like a bridge into troubled water
It’s downhill this time
Like a bridge into troubled water
It’s downhill this time

Written by AdLib

My motto is, "It is better to have blogged and lost hours of your day, than never to have blogged at all."

75 Responses so far.

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    • AdLib says:

      Is that rumbling sound the coming avalanche about to fall on Christie…or Christie’s shredder? My prediction now is that he’s going to be nailed.

    • NoManIsAnIsland says:

      Thanks for the link, Kalima, and the
      subpoenas couldn’t come to a more
      “deserving” bully and thug,
      masquerading as an honest man
      and governor!

  1. pinkpantheroz says:

    Sorry CCR!

    I see a Fat Man Writhing,
    I see trouble on the way,
    Traffic jams to the horizon,
    I see bad times all day.

    He’s so round tonight,
    But he’s in a lot of strife,
    There’s a Fat Man on the writhe!

    When Sandy Hurricane was blowin’,
    He took credit for the fix,
    Unless you didn’t quite endorse him,
    Well then, the funds for you are NIX!

    Chorus.

    • AdLib says:

      Brilliant and hilarious, PPO!

      If anyone would have a bad moon, it would be Christie.

    • Ah, kudps pink. The “Dude,” would be proud.

    • choicelady says:

      PPO -- that’s wonderful, too! I’m going to be humming all these songs all day long.

    • NoManIsAnIsland says:

      Good morning,pinkpantheroz,

      I was thinking of trying my hand at adapting the lyrics of a popular song to reflect the woes of the bridge-blocking, strong-arm, bullyboy tactics of the Christie Cabal — but no more.

      You’ve just done it to perfection, and you can’t be topped. To attempt it now would be to bring coals to Newcastle or, more to the point, like blocking the remaining open approach lane from Fort Lee to the George Washington Bridge.

      Wow, pinkpanther, just WOW! :)

      EDIT:
      And you don’t need to say “Sorry” to Creedence Clearwater Revival — they would be in awe and applaud your version!

      • pinkpantheroz says:

        You are incredibly kind, noman. Blush!

        • NoManIsAnIsland says:

          Thank you for the compliment,
          pinkpantheroz. But I just call them
          as I see ’em, and you’re incredibly
          talented.

          And BTW, if you haven’t noticed it
          yet, please see the edit to my original
          accolade to you above.

          • pinkpantheroz says:

            Noman, I’m replying to your query here, because there wasn’t a reply button on your last post. Yes, I saw you You-know-where, and had my handle, pinkpantheroz, the same there.
            Maybe we didn’t share interests, but I do remember your handle coming up.

            • NoManIsAnIsland says:

              Thanks. It was fine to reply
              here, and I’ve run into the no-reply button situation myself a number of times and done as you just did!

              I don’t think I saw your handle
              coming up you-know-where, but I might have in the 11 months I posted.

              At any rate, I’m very glad to meet you now. Who said clouds
              never have silver linings?

              Unless you’re a very early bird
              — it’s 3:35 A.M. in Melbourne
              as I type these words — you’re
              not up yet, but good morning
              to you when you are, and I’ll
              try to see you on Vox Pop
              — I know about it but haven’t
              been there yet.

          • pinkpantheroz says:

            You’re even more generous! Maybe we can meet in Vox Pop tomorrow? It is a pleasure writing here, in comparison to that Site That Has No Name! Hope you’re enjoying it as well.

            Well, it has just gone 2.00 am here in Melbourne, so I’m off to bed. Cheerio everyone for now.

            • NoManIsAnIsland says:

              I don’t know if you saw my post of 8:37 AM U.S. CST yet,
              but being on opposite sides of
              the International Date Line
              may be causing a mix up for us
              in regard to Vox Pop.

              It’s Saturday afternoon in the U.S., and it appears Vox Pop starts at 7:00 PM PST on Fridays. So if I don’t catch
              you before then, I hope to see
              you there NEXT Friday night, our time!

            • NoManIsAnIsland says:

              Thank you again. I’ll look for you on Vox Pop tomorrow; but when its 2:00 AM in Melbourne, it’s 9:00 AM the day before where I am, close to the geographical center of the Continental U.S., so I’m not sure if we’ll make contact there!

              I certainly am also enjoying writing here in comparison to “that Site That Has No Name”
              …and Dares Not Say It!

              I don’t think we met there. I was No Man Is An Island there as well. What, if I may ask, was
              your screen name?

              Good on you, and cheerio!

  2. choicelady says:

    Perfect lyrics for an incredible event presided over by someone who thought he walked on that water.

    Thanks, Ad Lib. And thanks for the Lt.Gov’s speech -- I saw it when it ran on the news and was whomperjawed at her “performance” that, yes, was clearly scripted and untrue.

    Scandal after scandal on the Right, all of them federal charges so they’re not just walking away unscathed as state charges might allow. These folks are taking their medicine, and to quote another song, no “Spoonful of Sugar” will help them.

    Hubris is a terrible thing.

    • AdLib says:

      CL -- Nothing but hubris and deceit spilling out of the Christie Admin, a preface to collapse, methinks.

    • NoManIsAnIsland says:

      Very well said, choicelady — and I’m in complete agreement
      with you save for “These folks are taking their medicine.”

      As they continue to pile lie upon lie and expect us to believe them, they aren’t taking their medicine at all. But if they
      come to trial on federal corruption charges and are convicted
      and sent up the river, THEN they will take their medicine, and
      poetic justice will be theirs and ours, too.

      • Nirek says:

        NoMan, that is what they do. Lie until people start to believe it. They believe that if you tell a lie enough times it becomes truth. We know better though.

        • NoManIsAnIsland says:

          Of course that’s what they do, Nirek. While they’re too young to have studied at the club foot of the late and very unlamented Joseph Goebbels, nevertheless they have proved apt students and users of his Big Lie technique.

          We certainly do know better, and so will
          many federal juries — which will be kept
          busy for some time hearing the cases of
          official corruption that should soon come cascading down on Christie and his
          cowardly cronies.

  3. NoManIsAnIsland says:

    “Wronger Than The Storm” works for me!

  4. AdLib says:

    Okay, we’ve all been around the block. We’ve seen children, adults and politicians (a combination of both) lie. We know the forced and awkward clues of lying and liars.

    Listen to Christie’s Lt. Governor Kim Guadagno. Have you ever heard a more rehearsed, more forced and less genuine sounding denial from a politician?


    IMO and with years of experience in seeing people lie, she is so obviously lying it’s kind of absurd. This means that there will continue to be corroborating statements and evidence showing her participation in extortion of Hoboken Mayor Dawn Zimmer. Whether it rises to guilt beyond a reasonable doubt and can be prosecuted and won, remains to be seen but it does mean there is doubtless a trail of extortion and corruption that will continue to be uncovered and one if not more may stick to her and Christie.

    Even if not, the preponderance of instances where corruption and abuse of power are alleged will grow and stain Christie and Guadagno indelibly.

    Christie’s presidential hopes are over now, even though he won’t allow himself to accept it. He and his administration will be the poster child for Republican politicians as corrupt leaders and no way would the party want that to be the face of their party.

    Can you imagine the attack ads that would pummel him? He’d be destroyed in a GE for sure, let alone the GOP primary.

    Sometimes there is justice and this over-inflated bully is getting his.

    • Kalima says:

      Just had a chance to watch this and wonder if she practiced this often in front of a mirror before she spilled out her obvious lies. I have a built in bs detector, ask AdLib. It’s starts with a burning sensation at the back of my throat, and then moves like a small electric shook to the back of my neck. It was going off at full speed from beginning to end of this video.

      The last thing I read about this is that the mayor had paper proof and had handed it to the investigating authorities. This bad actress has just called the mayor a barefaced liar in public, can’t wait for the fallout of doing this on top of everything else now surrounding Christie. Should be quite a show.

      By the way, in the main graphic is that Christie claiming his portion at the snack table?

    • escribacat says:

      She reminds me of a librarian reading a story to little children. What does she keep looking down at?

      • Kalima says:

        The notes scribbled on her palms?

      • NoManIsAnIsland says:

        Hi, escribacat,

        I don’t think it’s so much what she keeps looking down at as what she keeps looking down because OF. She’s a miserable liar and knows it; and whatever vestige of a conscience she has is forcing her to look down in shame at her decision to stick with Christie rather than cop to her share of the blame of George Washington Bridgegate and associated crimes.

    • I love how she emphasizes that NO QUESTIONS will be allowed. I would want to ask, why would the mayor lie about this whole thing? I would also ask where is the money that was withheld by Captain Chubbs and his merry band of misfits.

      • pinkpantheroz says:

        KT, the reason she doesn’t allow any questions is because it took all of her brainpower to learn the script she trotted out. Having to think of replies -- well, too much! I must say I do love the way pollies refuse to answer or take questions and the media meekly complies. She works for US! WE should demand that they answer, and if the answer is a proven lie, great! Gotcha!

        • Excellent point pink. You are absolutely right. How can the press just buckle under her “command,” that there will be no questions allowed? As you say, she works for us, not the other way around.

          A real journalist would have asked questions regardless of her dictates.

    • Nirek says:

      I have no doubt she’s lying, Ad. All the clues are there in spades.

    • NoManIsAnIsland says:

      Spot on, AdLib!

    • kesmarn says:

      I had to sort of settle myself down before I could even respond to that video clip, AdLib. Because for some unknown reason, I have a very visceral negative reaction to women like this. She’s in the Sarah Palin/Michelle Bachmann mould, and they tend to really hit a nerve with me.

      Forced is the word for it. Rehearsed. You can tell that she’s taken lessons in public speaking that emphasized diction, pitch, intonation and volume level over honesty and sincerity. And like virtually all of Christie’s associates, she comes across as a patronizing, preachy, condescending bully.

      The question that always seems so logical to me in situations like this is: What would the mayor of Hoboken stand to gain from making this up? Maybe I’m not getting something, but to me the answer seems to be — nothing but a lot of headaches. Which leads me to think that she’s telling the truth.

      We’ve all had bad bosses, teachers, family members, flight attendants and tour guides who’ve acted like this. They assume that they’re speaking to malicious idiots and address everyone as though that’s what they are. (Possibly too much time spent looking in the mirror?)

      Maybe her next job will be as a lecturer in a third-rate wax museum in Somalia? We can only hope.

      • NoManIsAnIsland says:

        It’s a fair cop, kesmarn. I could watch only a minute and twenty-five seconds of Guadagno’s prevaricating before rising tides of nausea made me stop.

        Before she even said a word, the droop of her head gave her away, and her hangdog expression and sepulchral delivery — not to mention the mournful and intimidated expressions of the undoubtedly dragooned mayors standing behind her — only confirmed she was lying through her teeth!

        I have only one word to add: Yuck!

      • NoManIsAnIsland says:

        very well said, Kesmarn! As Sir Walter Scott said in “Marmion,”

        Oh what a tangled web we weave,
        When first we practise to deceive!

        As for Guadagno’s next job: rather than a lecturer in a third-rate wax museum in Somalia, I’d suggest an EXHIBIT in said museum!

        • kesmarn says:

          Heh! She looks like she’s already half-way there, NoManIsAnIsland. In fact, I’ve seen wax figures and animatronics that looked more animated than she is!

          • NoManIsAnIsland says:

            Right you are, kesmarn. A wax
            figure with a speaker in its
            mouth would have looked more
            animated, and made a more
            convincing liar, than the real
            Guadagno did.

    • AlphaBitch says:

      I particularly liked the way she said “whole heartedly”. Wow. Send that woman some $$ for acting lessons, will ya? -- AB

  5. Kalima says:

    Absolutely precious AdLib, and as clever and astute as always. Loved it and thank you for the laugh. 😆

  6. NoManIsAnIsland says:

    Very well said, AdLib! I hope we’ll see soon if Christie can take it
    as well as he dishes it out, though I rather doubt he will.

    • AdLib says:

      Thanks so much, NoManIsAnIsland!

      Agreed, like most bullies, they can only dish it out. His cowardly acts of throwing his staff under the bus and squirming every which way he can to avoid responsibility tells me that if he’s nailed as I think he eventually will be, he will break down like a 5 year old caught stealing from the cookie jar.

      • NoManIsAnIsland says:

        You’re very welcome, AdLib! It’s been quite I while since we talked, and it’s good to do it again.

        It would be really pathetic, but I think I could
        steel myself into watching Christie’s maudlin confession!

        And BTW, I’m completely sure Christie WILL be nailed eventually, or my name isn’t Genghis Khan. Well, my name really isn’t Genghis Khan — but Christie will be found out.

        While I know I’m probably the last person Christie would take advice from, at some point he should realize he’s dug himself into such deep trouble already, the last thing he needs is to keep shoveling!

        • AdLib says:

          It has been a while and very nice to chat again, indeed!

          Since he is that bully/coward combination, I don’t think we’ll ever see him step up courageously and admit what he’s done just to end the madness, he will cling to his lies till the end and even then, blame others including those who caught him and were victimized by him.

          So if your name isn’t Genghis Kahn, doesn’t that mean he will be caught? The logic works for me!

  7. Pretty funny Ad.

    Another line may be, “A lap band round a troubled waistline.”

    • AdLib says:

      KT -- Very funny!

      BTW, my alternative line for the ending was:

      “Like a bridge into troubled waters,
      You will do some time.”

      Now, after hearing on Maddow that the FBI is interviewing aides of the Mayor of Hoboken on the Christie Admin trying to extort her into approving a development for a Christie donor in order to get Sandy funds.

      If this is proven, it is a major and federal crime and Christie could be wearing an XXXXL orange jumpsuit. Fascinated to see how this develops.

      • Ad, I would love to see Christie do some time. His goose is already cooked as far as any presidential possibilities go.

      • AlphaBitch says:

        Coming from a woman with a few to lose herself, does this mean “Fat is the New Orange”? Just the image alone…how does one tell the inmate from the outfit in this situation?

      • NoManIsAnIsland says:

        AdLib, I like your alternative ending line MUCH
        MORE!

        And BTW, I think Christie will, not “would,” look
        great in Federal Orange — much more in keeping
        with his true character. 😉

        • Well, if it is dark orange, he’d look like a basketball with a thyroid problem! 😉

        • AdLib says:

          NoManIsAnIsland, I would have stuck with that original wording had the news come out earlier that the FBI was investigating the charge by the Hoboken mayor.

          My only concern about Christie being convicted of corruption is how much money the taxpayers of NJ will have to pay for making a prison jumpsuit with that much fabric.

          • pinkpantheroz says:

            Christie: “what are you doing in my orange jumpsuit?”

            Sandy Survivor: ‘I live here!”

          • NoManIsAnIsland says:

            I take your point, AdLib. But since
            a conviction on charges of
            corruption — not to mention his
            imprisonment — would put a rather
            large dent in Christie’s presidential
            ambitions (like scotching them
            forever — as convicted felons can’t
            run for the presidency), I think
            grateful citizens from coast would
            be more than happy to contribute
            towards the cost of Christie’s
            prison ten-- I mean jumpsuit, of
            course — thereby lessening the
            financial burden on New Jerseyans
            or New Jerseyites, whichever you
            prefer!

            • pinkpantheroz says:

              Noman, I’ve a nice used dayglo orange Spinnaker from my old 37foot racer that might just be enough. I’ll gladly donate it! AND, there might be enough left for her as well.

            • NoManIsAnIsland says:

              Now that Christie’s apparently had his bariatric surgery, the spinnaker could just fit him.

              But it might be a stretch — literally — for it to still fit Kim Guadagno, too!

            • AdLib says:

              But think how many families could be housed with the material used to make Christie’s prison jumpsuit.

              Sill, you’re right, I would be happy to contribute to that fund and help bail out NJ on this natural disaster called Superstorm Christie.

              What catchphrase should we use for this? Wronger Than The Storm?

  8. kesmarn says:

    Love it, AdLib! Hey this is fun.

    Can I try one for Ohio’s own John Boehner?

    Let’s stick with the Simon and Garfunkel theme. How about “59th Street Bridge Song”? Otherwise known as “Feelin’ Groovy”?

    Slow down. I’m drinkin’ too fast.

    Got to make the Merlot last.

    Gavellin’ in the House alone,

    Lookin’ for wine and feelin’ boozy.

    Hello, Koch-boys, whatcha buyin’?

    I’m for sale. Complete with cryin’.

    Ain’tcha got no cash for me?

    I’m lookin’ for votes and feelin’ boozy.

    Got no principles. No promises to keep.

    I’m orange and I’m drowsy and ready to weep.

    Let your Tea Party drop all its crazy on me.

    I’m lookin’ for cash and feelin’ boozy.


  9. pinkpantheroz says:

    Priceless, AdLib! Beats the Bachmann Tenament Symphony all ends up!

  10. Nirek says:

    Too funny!

    “I will play me dumb”

    Simon and Garfunkle would be proud.


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