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AdLib On July - 12 - 2013

war on women

Reince Priebus, the most important Priebus in the Republican Party, announced today that after their successes in getting anti-abortion legislation passed by sneaking around public disclosure and review procedures, that they will now expand this practice to other states.

“I can’t tell you how ecstatic Republicans feel right now,” Priebus explained. “For years we’ve courted the public on passing anti-abortion laws and they spurned us. We’ve grown so frustrated that the way we felt on these issues wasn’t being returned, we had to do something about it or we’d burst  so we just grabbed the best looking bills we could find and thrust our legislation into them. Just proves that when it comes to passing anti-abortion laws, “no doesn’t always mean “no”, sometimes it means “aye”, smiled Priebus.

Priebus went on to say how upset he and other Republicans are at being called anti-women. “That is so unfair and untrue. In fact, we’re working with ALEC on passing legislation in every state that would require all women who call Republicans anti-woman to get ultrasounds of their brains so we can see if a tumor or some other illness else is causing them to be more irrational…than usual,” he chuckled. “Seriously, all we care about is protecting the health of women. ”

When asked if it was ethical to sneak anti-abortion laws into bills banning Sharia law or protecting motorcycle drivers, Priebus responded, “The public may say “no” in their polls but they’re saying “yes” in their re-elections. We don’t see anything wrong with the way we treat women, the public or our democracy. A party has needs and there are times when you just have to act on them. When you look at the public, the way it makes itself up, how loosely it conducts itself, it’s just asking for it anyway.”

Priebus instead believes that women will be flocking to the GOP because of the way they’re legislating their anti-abortion bills. “I think that women will look at today’s GOP and say, “They’re so strong and forceful, we’d love to be serving them!” Additionally, we have a five point strategy to attract women. First, we have asked Ann Romney to coach the several gals we have in the party to say to their constituents, “We love you, women!” Second, we will stress how wealthy we are. Third, we will have our most attractive wives bake cookies that they will pass out in swimsuits and high heels. Fourth, we will compliment them on their hair, shoes and ask if they’ve lost weight. Fifth, we’ll just order them to vote for us. We think it’s a winning strategy!”

Priebus looked ahead to other bills in other states that the GOP is targeting for inserting anti-abortion legislation, “We’re got our hands all over a hot little number in Louisiana and we’re mentally undressing another bill in Florida.”

Written by AdLib

My motto is, "It is better to have blogged and lost hours of your day, than never to have blogged at all."

11 Responses so far.

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  1. Kalima says:

    Funny stuff AdLib, and I can imagine R Prepuss actually saying this being as he is such a poor excuse for a man. Nothing surprises me anymore.

    I thought this video might fit if you imagine that the guy who attacks her is all constipated Republican men, cast adrift with the knowledge that they are losing and will continue to lose. The brave woman is all of us, and I applaud her courage and the fact that she had bigger balls than the lot of them together. Republican men are afraid of women, therefore the desperate need to control.

    Love this woman!

    —-

    “Kathrine Switzer: First woman to enter the Boston Marathon” (40 years ago)


    • AdLib says:

      Very inspirational story, Kalima. And when it comes to the fury and indignation that the race director displayed, you’re so right, you see the same misogyny and spite towards women that these Repubs display, an outrage that women dare to threaten their superiority and a fervor to force them back under submission.

      Progress can be a deceptively slow process!

      • glenn says:

        AdLib--“Progress can be a deceptively slow process!”

        How true! As I watch some of the r/tp’s “antics”, I can’t help but ask myself--“Haven’t we fought all of these battles before?” Civil rights, women’s rights, voting rights, abortion rights, Medicare, Social Security, and on and on and on.

        Not only is progress a deceptively slow process, it’s a process that must be maintained, and (seemingly, given today’s r/tp party) fought for over and over again.

        I’ve always prided myself on being able to understand an opposing point of view, but I just don’t understand the mindset of people who want to destroy progress with hateful, untrue rhetoric and legislation.

        I admire your ability to write so eloquently about the issues facing our country. That’s why I keep returning to the Planet. That, and I absolutely love Vox Populi on Friday nights! I learn so much and laugh so much through Vox that I don’t know how I did without it for so long.

        • Nirek says:

          Glenn, the GOP/TP wants to return to the bad old days.They are crazy! If I were a woman and lived in TX, NC, or WIS I would move to a state that believes in equal rights. In a heartbeat.

          • glenn says:

            Nirek--You nailed it. “The GOP/TP wants to return to the bad old days.” Isn’t that the definition of a conservative? No change allowed?

  2. Daedalus says:

    What a hoot! YOU ARE GREAT! I love your pieces, and wish I had more time to contribute to this site. Unfortunately, my septuagenarian brain is fading fast. And (as I disengage from my local responsibilities) I’m not sure I will ever have the energy to productively contribute. But, I do love your stuff, and I appreciate, very much, your effort on behalf of so many of us.

    • Nirek says:

      Daedalus, your comment makes me glad to be part (small part) of this site. Please know that we enjoy Adlib. Adlib is one of our leaders as far as the prolific and excellent writing. Also some of us are older and would love to see more from you. Welcome to the planet.

    • AdLib says:

      Hi Daedalus, so nice to see you! Wow, thanks so much for your very kind words, they are very appreciated.

      No worries, great to know you’re popping by. Hope to see more of you when possible and just keep in mind that even the briefest comment is appreciated here. Cheers!

    • kesmarn says:

      Daedalus, if that’s a fading brain, I want one! Good to see you here.

      • Daedalus says:

        Why not? AdLib is a true American hero for holding a rear-guard as our civilization crumbles. (Sorry to be so cynical. I hope I’m wrong, but only time will tell.)

      • AdLib says:

        Folks on the Progressive side are so much more critical of themselves. On the other hand are the wack Repubs who should be embarrassed of the crazy garbage that streams out of their mouths yet they think it proves they’re brilliant.


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