Humpty Grumpty - McCain1

As part of their effort to rehabilitate their damaged brand, the GOP has just published a collection of nursery rhymes. The big takeaway for the GOP from their big loss in the 2012 elections was that they need to be better at the image they present. Thus comes this Republican literary work aimed at being a more fun and gentler way to present their politicians and key representatives. So, for your perusal, PlanetPOV presents the following sneak peak at “Mother GOP’s Nursery Rhymes”:

 

There Was a Crooked Man

by Mark Sanford

There was a crooked man,
Who walked a crooked mile
He stole a crooked sixpence
Upon The Appalachian Trail.
He bought a crooked seat,
Another crooked louse,
And they all lived together in a
Crooked little House.

 

I’m a Little Teabagger

by Ted Cruz

I’m a little teabagger, short and stout
Here is my handle, here is my spout
When I get all steamed up hear me shout.
Just tip me over and pour me out.

 

Boehner, Boehner Quite Contrary

by John Boehner

Boehner, Boehner, quite contrary,
How does your country grow?
With social cuts and gun lobby nuts,
And Dittohead Reps all in a row.

 

Hot Cross Bums

by Rush Limbaugh

Hot cross bums,
Hot cross bums,
Whine a plenty,
Whoop a plenty,
Hot cross bums.

If you have no birth cert,
If you have no guns,
Whine a plenty,
Whoop a plenty,
Hot cross bums.

 

Humpty Grumpty

by John McCain

Humpty Grumpty sat on the wall,
Humpty Grumpty had a great fall.
All McCain’s courses
And all McCain’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty Grumpty
Together again.

 

White Men’s Rule is Falling Down

by Rand Paul

White Men’s Rule is falling down,
Falling down,
Falling down.
White Men’s Rule is falling down,
I blame Obama!

Take Latinos and lock us out,
And lock us out.
And lock us out.
Take Latinos and lock us out,
I blame Obama!

As a companion item, Mitch McConnell is recording an audio version of, “Curdle the Turtle”.

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choicelady
Member

Very witty and delicious send ups of the parties who would be reciting them! The originals were part of my Little Golden Book collection. Would this be the Little Leaden Book?

These goobers would think your parodies quite admirable because, of course, they lack any sense of self reflection. For your loyal fans and loving admirers, we thank you for giving us a delicious laugh and having something to hold over the goobers’ heads.

Thank you!!!

SallyT
Member

Mother Goose would be proud, AdLib!

KillgoreTrout
Member

Pretty funny stuff Ad. Great concept. 😉

SueInCa
Member

Very funny Adlib. Glad to see you back, hope you had a relaxing Friday night. Vox was pretty lively and CL did a great job. I am doing a piece on the Kochs starting with 1980 going forward. Do you think it would be a good idea to separate it into a series? I have a feeling it will be long and I don’t want people too put off by length to read it. Let me know.

Kalima
Admin

😆 😆 😆

Brilliant AdLib! My first real laugh of the day, and just before going to sleep.

Thanks, I’ll read it again in my morning and laugh some more.

Good night from Tokyo. Now I’ll spend the night dreaming about “Hot Cross Bums” and grumpy old men. 😯