• RSS
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
AdLib On May - 20 - 2013

Humpty Grumpty - McCain1

As part of their effort to rehabilitate their damaged brand, the GOP has just published a collection of nursery rhymes. The big takeaway for the GOP from their big loss in the 2012 elections was that they need to be better at the image they present. Thus comes this Republican literary work aimed at being a more fun and gentler way to present their politicians and key representatives. So, for your perusal, PlanetPOV presents the following sneak peak at “Mother GOP’s Nursery Rhymes”:

 

There Was a Crooked Man

by Mark Sanford

There was a crooked man,
Who walked a crooked mile
He stole a crooked sixpence
Upon The Appalachian Trail.
He bought a crooked seat,
Another crooked louse,
And they all lived together in a
Crooked little House.

 

I’m a Little Teabagger

by Ted Cruz

I’m a little teabagger, short and stout
Here is my handle, here is my spout
When I get all steamed up hear me shout.
Just tip me over and pour me out.

 

Boehner, Boehner Quite Contrary

by John Boehner

Boehner, Boehner, quite contrary,
How does your country grow?
With social cuts and gun lobby nuts,
And Dittohead Reps all in a row.

 

Hot Cross Bums

by Rush Limbaugh

Hot cross bums,
Hot cross bums,
Whine a plenty,
Whoop a plenty,
Hot cross bums.

If you have no birth cert,
If you have no guns,
Whine a plenty,
Whoop a plenty,
Hot cross bums.

 

Humpty Grumpty

by John McCain

Humpty Grumpty sat on the wall,
Humpty Grumpty had a great fall.
All McCain’s courses
And all McCain’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty Grumpty
Together again.

 

White Men’s Rule is Falling Down

by Rand Paul

White Men’s Rule is falling down,
Falling down,
Falling down.
White Men’s Rule is falling down,
I blame Obama!

Take Latinos and lock us out,
And lock us out.
And lock us out.
Take Latinos and lock us out,
I blame Obama!

As a companion item, Mitch McConnell is recording an audio version of, “Curdle the Turtle”.

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 10.0/10 (2 votes cast)
A GOP Collection of Nursery Rhymes, 10.0 out of 10 based on 2 ratings
Categories: Featured, GOP, Humor

Written by AdLib

My motto is, "It is better to have blogged and lost hours of your day, than never to have blogged at all."

14 Responses so far.

Click here to leave a comment
  1. choicelady says:

    Very witty and delicious send ups of the parties who would be reciting them! The originals were part of my Little Golden Book collection. Would this be the Little Leaden Book?

    These goobers would think your parodies quite admirable because, of course, they lack any sense of self reflection. For your loyal fans and loving admirers, we thank you for giving us a delicious laugh and having something to hold over the goobers’ heads.

    Thank you!!!

    VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    • AdLib says:

      Thanks CL! Little Leaden Book or maybe Little Radioactive Book.

      As you say, so many Repubs have no sense of humor or self-awareness, many think Stephen Colbert’s character is a real person that’s an authentic conservative.

      VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  2. SallyT says:

    Mother Goose would be proud, AdLib!

    VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  3. Pretty funny stuff Ad. Great concept. ;)

    VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  4. SueInCa says:

    Very funny Adlib. Glad to see you back, hope you had a relaxing Friday night. Vox was pretty lively and CL did a great job. I am doing a piece on the Kochs starting with 1980 going forward. Do you think it would be a good idea to separate it into a series? I have a feeling it will be long and I don’t want people too put off by length to read it. Let me know.

    VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    • AdLib says:

      Hey Sue, thanks!

      Yep, I read Friday’s Vox, CL did a great job and it was a novelty for me and very enjoyable reading the entire converstion the next day!

      Yes, If you’re covering a lot of ground, it absolutely makes sense to publish it as a series. Perhaps the first part covers their greed-driven philosophies and agenda as they build up of political power from the 80′s and the second part could cover how since the 2000′s, with their dangerous machinery in place, they’ve used it to try and transform America into their vision of a plutocratic dystopia.

      Just a suggestion, their are other ways that make sense as to how to break it into a series, whatever you think works best. Either way, really looking forward to it, this is a chilling tale of real evil that’s fighting to destroy the America that 99% of us want and they won’t be vanquished in the foreseeable future, just blocked.

      It’s an unending war and folks need to know that. You can win battles but they will not stop their war on the majority of Americans and our Democracy.

      VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
      • SueInCa says:

        I was a bit hesitant because from what I have read the Kochs like to pick on smaller institutions and people that write about them but I am going to list citations so as not to run into any trouble. Basically I am just reiterating what others have written but condensing them into one piece. And acknowledging the authors of any quotes. It is going to take awhile but I don’t want to publish the first until I can do a daily post of the series. That way people stay engaged, I hope.

        VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
        • AdLib says:

          Sue, we aren’t afraid of the Kochs at The Planet.

          Sounds like you’re really covering the bases on this, that’s more journalistic professionalism than CNN’s constantly false statements, Jonathan Karl’s trumpeting the fraudulent WH emails and just about every report on Fox News.

          Great way to approach this series, having it all lined up. We can then schedule each post to be published on consecutive days.

          Looking forward to it!

          VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
          • SueInCa says:

            Ok I am trying to get everything in chronical order. History Commons is a great source and I will cite them but I am also looking up other info to validate what I am reading. I think I am going to do one on their background. Then one on all the organizations they founded or supported, then a final summation. That could change but for now that is what I am thinking. That way, there will be specific info for each installment.

            VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
            Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  5. Kalima says:

    :lol: :lol: :lol:

    Brilliant AdLib! My first real laugh of the day, and just before going to sleep.

    Thanks, I’ll read it again in my morning and laugh some more.

    Good night from Tokyo. Now I’ll spend the night dreaming about “Hot Cross Bums” and grumpy old men. :shock:

    VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)

Leave your Comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.


Back to top
PlanetPOV Tweets
Sponsors
Features