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AdLib On March - 18 - 2013

ryan budget

The Republican Party has clung to its unpopular policies that were defeated in last year’s election with the pride of someone who kept their eyes closed at the end of a race…in their mind, they haven’t lost because they didn’t see it.

To fully dramatize to the public that the Republican policies from the last four years that display class warfare and prejudices, are anti-women, champion cruelty and neglect towards the poor and insist on showering even greater wealth upon the already wealthy, the man who was rejected by the nation to be their Vice President has regurgitated all of this into another similar iteration what he calls The Republican Budget.

The GOP budget is estimated to kill 2 million jobs, slash $700 billion from Medicare and block grant it to the states, allow states to kick the poor off of food stamps, privatize Medicare and keep 27 million people from getting health insurance. Or as Republicans would describe it, “Saving America.”

What is most remarkable is that as cruel as this budget is and as much as its numbers are falsified and dishonest, it used to be even worse! PlanetPOV has uncovered the original Ryan Budget which included some items that one can only assume were so extreme that the House leadership insisted they be removed from the bill.

DELETED ITEMS FROM PAUL RYAN’S ORIGINAL BUDGET:

ONLY CORPORATIONS SHALL VOTE IN ELECTIONS

There is one truism about private enterprise…it’s never wrong…it just needs a little taxpayer bailout once in a while. If a product is made that the people don’t want, the company behind it goes out of business. If it makes a product people want, a company makes money. Why not put that kind of American ingenuity and infallibility behind our political process?

As we all know, the wealthier you are, the smarter you are and who’s wealthier than corporations? Since the Supreme Court has affirmed that corporations are people, by passing this bill, our nation will have the smartest people in our nation electing our politicians so we can finally take America down the Right road, take it all the way down.

COMMERCIALLY LICENSE NATIONAL DISASTERS

Our hearts always go out to the victims of natural disasters but so does a lot of tax money that adds to our deficits which then makes us angry at them and pray for bad things to happen to them which helps bring about more natural disasters and the intentionally vicious circle continues.

There is a way to break this cycle so we can just provide our sympathy without having to actually pay to help the victims of natural disasters. This bill proposes that the US government license the rights to national disasters to the highest bidder and only money generated from those licensing sales would be used to aid those hit by that disaster. Whenever the news or other media refer to a disaster, they will be required to mention the sponsor’s name.

All the publicity associated with the unforgettable names of disasters can now be harnessed, making future natural disasters a win-win for taxpayers and businesses! For example, the next time there is a drought, it could be named, “The Quench Your Thirst With Gatorade Drought!”, the next massive snowstorm could be, “Dairy  Queen’s Real Blizzard 2013” and so on!

PRIVATIZE WELFARE, FOOD STAMPS AND MEDICARE

One of the biggest drains on our nation are the takers who drive Ferraris, eat caviar and buy solid gold clothes, all paid for by the far too generous payments they receive from our Welfare and Medicare systems. This budget fixes that outrage and will help to keep tax loopholes for oil companies and yacht manufacturers safe from government interference.

Instead of receiving Welfare payments, food stamps and Medicare, those seeking such benefits would need to choose from a list of prospective companies and agree to provide labor to them in exchange for a room, meals and emergency medical care. They would reside on the property of the business owner, best efforts would be made to keep families together and chains would not need to be worn on birthdays or anniversaries.

This new approach will convert Takers into Wage Slavers who dedicate their lives to the American Dream of working hard in a futile attempt to escape servitude to the powerful and wealthy. Instead of being metaphorically locked into a cycle of poverty, these people will be physically locked into a job that can last and minimally provide for them for a lifetime…as long as they’re not shot trying to escape.

The thrust of the Republican Party since its defeat in 2012 and further broadcast by CPAC is that there is no problem with their message, only a problem with the way they’re communicating their message. Perhaps these lost sections of the Ryan Budget could be added back into it and if all of it was presented in a more appetizing way, perhaps as the wrapper on a Big Mac, it would get the respect and lengthy consideration it deserves.

Written by AdLib

My motto is, "It is better to have blogged and lost hours of your day, than never to have blogged at all."

19 Responses so far.

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  1. agrippa says:

    The Washington GOP is not serious. Ryan, and others, are putting on a show for their base ( over the whole country, about 47% of the voters. If this party were actually serious about making a law, it would actually negotiate with the other side.
    The GOP in the HoR are fully aware that any budget passed in the HoR will never pass in the Senate.

    The GOP does not want to make laws; it does not want to pass a budget.

    That is the bottom line.

  2. Kalima says:

    AdLib, thanks for making something so very funny out of the pathetic cow dung that passes for a rival political party. It’s really sad when it’s all true about them.

    Their total delusion that it’s the way their message has been delivered is gobsmacking. No guys, it’s your actual message and policies that stink like an open sewer. Your delivery is just an extension of your basic cluelessness about what is fair, what is just, but mainly about what the majority of Americans want. Just keep sitting in your soundproofed cesspools, and please keep losing elections. Thanks from all of the sane people around the world who want a better life for those who are suffering.

  3. Nirek says:

    Adlib, great piece, you make the truth comical. None of it is really funny because they seem to believe it. They are stuck on themselves.

    • AdLib says:

      Thanks so much, Nirek! I think the GOP is stuck on “stupid” as well, they can’t change their tune. Just the same class warfare/pro-plutocracy, racism and elitism again and again. They just claim it needs to have a new bow tied around it and the public will buy it.

      Their delusion may be a source of their enthusiasm but it is also a source of their downfall.

      • agrippa says:

        Adlib,
        Over the entire nation, the GOP has about a 47% base; and, a majority in some states/regions. There is no good reason for them to change.

        yes, the GOP is ‘stuck’.

  4. foodchain says:

    Baseball stadiums and disasters! I think these jokers would relish supporting our giving money to them to distribute to victims.

    Sorry, it’s been so busy here…………

  5. choicelady says:

    OMG -- the GOP hasn’t changed. Did anyone hear Rachel tonight on Nixon’s TREASON? He secretly intervened five days before the 1968 election to stop LBJ’s imminent peace arrangement so Nixon could win! The info about what Nixon was doing had been obtained by Hoover from an illegal wiretap, so it could not be made public, and Nixon’s promises to South Vietnam to assure HE would bring the peace and warning them not to accept LBJ’s terms led to five more years, tens of thousands of US and Vietnamese deaths.

    LBJ called it out -- TREASON. And nothing could be done.

    Now -- to get the whole story on Iran and the hostages in 1980…

    I guess I always figured Nixon was dirty, but I never though he was THAT dirty. Thought that level of corruption started with Reagan. Wow.

    • AdLib says:

      CL, it was in fact treason and this was duplicated by Reagan in the Iranian hostage crisis in 1980. Reagan was just as treasonous a slime bag as Nixon, his team promising during the GE against Carter, in a secret deal with the Iranians, a great outcome for them if they would hold off releasing the hostages until after he was elected and inaugurated. And what happened?

      On Jan. 20, 1981, the day of President Reagan’s inauguration, the United States released almost $8 billion in Iranian assets and the hostages were freed after 444 days in Iranian detention; the agreement gave Iran immunity from lawsuits arising from the incident.

      http://www.infoplease.com/encyclopedia/history/iran-hostage-crisis.html#ixzz2O08f9qoP

      So let’s remember exactly how Reagan ended the hostage crisis, by paying off the hostage takers with $8 billion and guaranteeing them freedom from justice for their actions. And making this deal secretly in the midst of a Presidential election, destroying negotiations that were under way which would have freed Americans many months earlier just so he could win the election and grab power. In case you didn’t know, that’s what Repubs call “a hero” and a black President who is responsible for the death of terrorist leaders who attacked us on our soil (after the failure of a Repub President to do so), is “a traitor”.

      We should know now that the GOP is just a camouflaged vehicle for the sociopathic elitists in our society, it is part of the game to make the public, especially Democrats, accept it as a legitimate party when it appears so clearly to be just a plutocratic army that’s bought and paid for and instructed to pretend to be a political party.

    • AlphaBitch says:

      Hey guys -- there was an eye popping article in Vanity Fair YEARS ago on this same thing. When you saw the -- what I called at the time -- underhandedness and sneakiness of Nixon, and what it ended up costing BOTH the US AND VIETNAM in terms of lives and blood -- wow.

      It was as shocking to me as reading -- and you must read it -- Charlie Wilson’s War. The movie sucked en homage to Joanne Herring. The book told it straight. Hard to believe we could do that.

      Eyes open, people; eyes open.

      Off to work. It’s my busy week, but then I am fairly open until August. Ta da! More Planet, less grind. -- AB

      • AdLib says:

        AB, this latest release should revive awareness of that VF article and further cement Nixon and the GOP as the treasonous snakes that they are. I mentioned the same thing was done by Reagan in the Iranian hostage crisis, and what about Iran-Contra?

        Repubs have been sabotaging and betraying this country for many decades now (over 40 years now since Nixon) and yet they are still seen by many as the more patriotic party (what’s more patriotic than fighting against health care for 35 million Americans, protecting the right of terrorists and mass killers to get assault weapons and destroying the US economy in a financial crash?).

        It’s like botulism became a political party and just because it claimed to be better for America and lied about its opposition being bad for America, some people just bought into it. Republicanism is a sickness, indeed.

        Great to see more of you here, AB!

    • kesmarn says:

      c’lady, here’s a link to an article on those LBJ tapes. (I believe it was posted on MB a few days ago.) Fascinating.

      http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-21768668

      • choicelady says:

        The perfidy of the Right since at least WW II stems in almost its entirety from the dread of communism now morphing into secular humanism and other ‘terrors’.

        Watching these Tea Party bumpkins foaming at the mouth over faux outrages when their heroes were outright treasonous is beyond toleration.

        I do not doubt for one second that the compilation of Cheney with The Family -- the neo cons with the Dominionists -- is incredibly dangerous, and I dread what they might be able to pull off that would be designed to harm this nation and ‘prove’ the need for their RW leadership. The only thing we have going for us is that the memory of their lies and understanding of their extremism has endured.

        But these are the same people who tried a coup against FDR and this time they are better connected. I do not take them lightly -- if Nixon and Reagan were willing to do anything at all to get elected, it makes me wonder what lies beneath the new call from the GOP to ‘sell’ their message. Never turn your back on ’em.

  6. kesmarn says:

    This is absolutely delicious, AdLib. They truly have become a parody of themselves.

    Yesterday a friend of mine sent me an email link to a Borowitz Report article in the New Yorker. The gist of it was that, after Rob Portman changed his position on gay marriage, following his conversation with his son, the word was going out from GOP leaders like Boehner and McConnell was that all Republican office-holders should avoid having any conversations with their children.

    Her comment was: “Please tell me this is satire???” She was unfamiliar with Borowitz and she honestly didn’t know! This is not a naive woman. She has a PhD!

    But the GOP/Tea people are so utterly mad that she thought this might have been the real thing. What does that say about them?

    I assured her that this was indeed satire, but that Sarah Palin reading nasty comments about the President’s teleprompter-dependence — from a teleprompter — was not. Nor is Ryan’s rewarming of yesterday’s budget, complete with moldy spots.

    • AdLib says:

      Thanks Kes!

      Both amusing and sad that your friend was unsure that the Borowitz post was satire. The GOP has become such a manic and extremist snake pit that what may have been apparent satire years ago is sometimes indistinguishable from the Repub’s reality. I mean, as you say, couldn’t we imagine a satirical piece about Sarah Palin attacking Obama for using a Teleprompter using a pre-written speech on a Teleprompter?

      I have to say that from my POV, it does get harder and harder to satirize the GOP, no matter how absurd you try to be, you’ve got Palin, Rand Paul, Ted Cruz or some other nut job singing, “Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better!”

    • choicelady says:

      kes -- the GOP did not have good upbringings. If they had, they would know “saying so doesn’t make it so.”

      Poor dears. So rude and such bumpkins.

  7. choicelady says:

    LOL!!!

    I guess though, we should NOT laugh, AdLib -- funny as you make it, the tape of the white supremacist at the CPAC convention indicates this is not entirely too far out for some people, especially the wage slave part. Add in the OTHER comment from the ‘47% tape’ where Romney extolled the virtues of the Chinese slave labor camp, saying the ‘security’ was to keep people OUT not keep them IN, and you can see we have folks in America who think this is just ducky.

    Yeah those Welfare Queens. I guess they finally did find one. ONE. And because, like the 87 people prosecuted for voter fraud, where there is one there MUST be millions, then these slashes to the safety net HAVE to be justifiable, right?

    Right. That’s where they are. Hard Right.

    And that’s why they are wondering why everyone to the OTHER side -- which begins with conservatives who aren’t stupid all the way on to actual socialists -- never votes for them and their remarkably “common sense solutions”.

    They don’t have a messaging problem. They have a REALITY problem.

    • AdLib says:

      CL, indeed, they do have a reality problem. Because the GOP is such a faith-based organization, whether it comes to trickle-down economics, voter fraud, climate change, whatever, they really do seem to think that just by being forceful and belligerently stubborn about saying what they want to be reality, it will change reality to what they insist it should be.

      I actually wasn’t surprised at all by that loud racist at CPAC, I would have been more surprised by someone promoting equality there. We all know from the last 4 years just how racist so many in the GOP are…including their “leaders”.

      And you’re right, Romney rang the class warfare and racist bell over and over in his run, including that crazy reference to cheering on the Chinese slave labor camp as a model for America.

      This year’s CPAC should give Dems cautious optimism about the future, I don’t know that any Repub Presidential nominee can win again until the Repubs change course from their classist and racist policies, it’s simply not acceptable to a majority of Americans.

      • choicelady says:

        AdLib -- all this, CPAC and this morning’s press conference, reminds me of an Ugly American experience I had in Poland some years ago.

        I was with an international group in a restaurant in Krakow, when American tourists from a bus trip came in.
        One of the men in the tour group wanted ice water. The hostess, who did speak pretty decent English, tried to say they did NOT serve it. So, because he did not hear her or listen, HE SPOKE LOUDER. When you don’t speak the other person’s language of course it works fine if you speak your own MORE LOUDLY. THAT ALWAYS GETS THROUGH, RIGHT?

        That’s the GOP. Didn’t work this time? SPEAK MORE LOUDLY. Don’t, for heaven’s sake, find out WHY they don’t serve ice water. DEMAND it LOUDLY. That’ll bring ’em to your side. (They don’t serve it because they use ice to cool things and use tap, not safe bottled water, for that ice.)

        Even though you want people to come to your view, you never EVER find out theirs and just insist yours is ALWAYS correct and therefore it’s obviously a case of YOUR failure to listen.

        LOUDER. Yup. That’ll work.

        Guy did not get his ice water. Grumbled all night. Just like Reince.


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