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AdLib On November - 21 - 2012

Still reeling from their losses in the elections earlier this month, leading Republicans have vowed to block Thanksgiving from coming this week unless Democrats agree to allowing the wealthy to have a 20% cut of all the white meat.

Senator Mitch McConnell, who has been less visible this week due to safety concerns over his looking too much like a turkey, gobbled, “I think it’s clear that the more white meat Job Creators eat, the more white meat there is for everyone.” Senator Barbara Boxer responded by objecting to the cruel treatment and caging of logic by Sen. McConnell and suggested that he get stuffed…which raised McConnell’s concern of being mistaken for an actual turkey and potentially roasted by his colleagues so he flew the coop.

Senator John McCain has taken the lead in vowing to block Thanksgiving, claiming that he will focus on blocking the dark meat from being served. McCain also attacked rice, making a variety of claims about what it should have known and when.

The Republican Association of Teapartiers and Secessionists (RATS) have added their support to this effort, they reportedly have been accumulating all the nuts out there to prevent the baking of pecan pies. They also allege to have cornered the market on fruitcakes.

Alaska’s Ex-Governor, Sarah Palin has condemned Thanksgiving as a satanic ritual for liberal socialists and has dedicated herself to performing exorcisms on deviled eggs.

Republicans insist that by blocking Thanksgiving, they would truly be upholding the values of Thanksgiving. “The first Thanksgiving was all about self-sufficiency and every person for themselves, “McCain muttered while gritting his teeth painfully. “We need more of that rugged individualism that was symbolized by the pilgrims refusing to share the crops they harvested with the Native Americans who refused to share the turkeys they caught and prepared with the pilgrims. Republicans celebrate that Thanksgiving Day spirit  by coming together to block Thanksgiving Day from being celebrated.”

In an unrelated story, George Orwell’s grave has transformed itself into a centrifuge.

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BREAKING: Republicans Vow to Block Thanksgiving, 10.0 out of 10 based on 2 ratings

Written by AdLib

My motto is, "It is better to have blogged and lost hours of your day, than never to have blogged at all."

6 Responses so far.

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  1. Kalima says:

    If this is what they plan for Thanksgiving, heaven help us when they start to force their idea of Christmas and the coming Apocalypse on everyone in the land. Dark meat vs white meat will have nothing on that. ;-)

    Thanks for the laugh AdLib. :D

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  2. Beatlex says:

    BAH HAHAHA! Funny stuff AdLib!

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    • AdLib says:

      Thanks so much, Beatlex and a happy Thanksgiving to you!

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      • Beatlex says:

        Hey A! what other sites do you go on besides here? I am tiring of HP,we cant even play tunes anymore.How many are on this site? there doesn’t seem to be many.I don’t know my way around this site

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        • bito says:

          That looks like one of those “librul gotcha question… What other sites is al lot like what other papers do you read! Gotcha, AdlLib!
          “I can read all the sites from my back porch, even those commie Soviet ones!

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        • AdLib says:

          Hey Beatlex, this is really the only site I blog on. We have a good number of members here though things are a bit slow today due to it being the day before Thanksgiving.

          The Planet isn’t a corporate-sized site so while it doesn’t have the enormous numbers of bloggers and comments HP has, it’s a genuine community of bloggers and not a Walmart-type corporate blogging factory. People have substantive conversations and observations on issues here…that don’t get swept away to a back page after a few minutes. What folks blog here isn’t disposable as it is at HP…it matters to our members and readers.

          There is no moderation or censorship here as long as a comment doesn’t attack a fellow member or is troll-type material (we have a zero tolerance for trolls, we flush them immediately). We really do value freedom of expression here and opposing views, we just ask that it doesn’t get personal and stays focused on the issues and opinions.

          As you know, we have Weekend Music Threads here every weekend where you can actually embed the music videos for your favorite songs.

          We have Vox Populi on Friday nights at 7pm PST, it’s an invigorating live chat on the week’s events and is always well-attended.

          You can also post articles here too, all members are welcome to do so.

          It may take a little time to get the hang of The Planet’s site but I guarantee, it’s well worth it. The folks here are sharp, witty and very welcoming towards new members.

          Hope to see more of you here!

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