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TheRarestPatriot On January - 5 - 2010

Folks,  I have for most of my life been what some might call a  ‘boat rocker’ or ‘pot stirrer.’ I have railed against authority for as long as I can remember and have been loved for it…and hated.  And on more than one occasion I have suffered mightily because of it.  The very thought of being  ‘content’ with what others tell me is the ‘norm’ or the like, sets me into a frenzy of fury.  I was not very well adored by the nuns in my Catholic school for my impertinence. I was/am ‘uppity’ and ambitious. (something my father said was evil) Even now in the depths of despair that I find myself in, …I can’t shake this part of my personality. Perhaps I am a psychotic, manic, megalomaniac that thinks his ideas area the very best. Yet I welcome stimulating conversation and gladly accept new and better solutions to issues and problems when they are offered. I do see reason…and logic.  I’m not highly educated.  I may even have been considered ‘white trash’ and ‘poor’ when I was growing up. I may be on my way BACK to it, financially. But here I am nonetheless. Wondering. Thinking. And stirring…..

Now most of you are probably wondering what in the hell I’m on about….well…good point! I had occasion to listen to Chris Hedges today and his reading of a portion of his new book. I read DN from time to time and this reading really reminded me of so many here at PlanetPOV and others around the nation and I thought that all of you….please…would listen to his reading.  It’s a little long, so maybe listen as the last thing before bed. But, I think it encapsulates a large portion of readers and citizens that are truly NOT polarized in their reasoning with regards to the machinations of our Republic and its future. More importantly, I would love to hear all of our wise and learned opinions of his work. I feel that what I listened to might be the last, best rallying cry for our kind…..

http://www.democracynow.org/blog/2009/12/18/chris_hedges

Categories: Speakers' Corner

8 Responses so far.

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  1. Emerald1943 says:

    Good evening, my friend!

    I just arrived here, midnight my time, to find that you had posted a new comment. I, like Kesmarn, will have to postpone listening to Mr. Hedges until morning if I am to write tonight.

    I imagine that most of us here have a mental picture in our minds of our other members. I have a mental picture of you…and from your self-description, it is nothing like the one you give. I am not referring to physical traits, but something much deeper.

    We become transparent here by the sharing of our most deeply held feelings and beliefs. We are courageous; we are brave! We put ourselves out in the open, vulnerable, and subject to criticism from others who might not understand. Another author here wrote that it takes great courage to put ones’ self out there…and I see you in that light! You have graced us with your poetry, words and feelings from the depths of your heart. You have made yourself vulnerable by doing so. I am, kind friend, in your debt for this sharing of your true self.

    My mother used to tell me that I was my own worst enemy. I never understood exactly what she meant until much later in my life when I began to realize that I was making my own reality…I was defeating myself by my own self-perception. At the risk of over-stepping my bounds, I would encourage you to make your reality a better one. Anyone who has the strength to write as you have written most certainly has that inner strength, courage, and bravery necessary for the task. Surely you must see this in yourself!

    The picture that I hold in my mind of you, Scott, is one of a man who has seen the heights and the depths, one who has the richness of spirit, born of experience, to write beautifully…and to share that beauty with us all. We are graced by it!

    I wish you the very best, my courageous friend…only the best!

    • TheRarestPatriot says:

      Em, …you’re not over-stepping any bounds as far as I’m concerned. Your opinion and advice is gold to me. I think everyone has a certain perception of themselves that is always a little self deprecating and perhaps I offer that side of me up too often. Yet, imagine for a sec that your partner of 13 years has just left you and took the kids too. Your partner was the breadwinner and you have no job prospects at all in this horrid economy. You’re a middle aged white male. The house you’re in could sell any day…leaving you homeless. The car you’re now living in will soon be repossessed and you’re on the street. You are the last of your family left alive and moved so often you have no support base of friends to offer shelter or hope. Day after day you wake up trying to find a handhold to pull yourself up on, yet it’s never there. You blog, write poetry and search for work 18 hours a day until your fingers hurt. You know time is running out…not just for your internet connection (your only lifeline to human contact, job searches, etc.), but running out maybe for good. This is truly where I am. I don’t say this to be snarky or to illicit a particular response…I’ve had enough pity from all I can take. I say this maybe as a cathartic kick in the rear end, I dunno. You may hear wisdom and strength and maybe you’re right. Yet with all of those things…even those things I KNOW I possess, …I can’t seem to pull the trigger on my future. It’s the one thing a dreamer like me hasn’t accumulated over the years. I don’t know how to make life work for me I suppose. It’s a real problem. I am struggling daily with bouts of depression and bursts of creativity. Maybe this is what artists over time have had to deal with. And many of their stories don’t end well….LOL~
      It took courage to tell me what you were trying to get at. I hear you. I’m trying so hard to make my own reality. I mourn my situation…my past. I need to chin-up for the future…I know….

      • Emerald1943 says:

        Patriot,
        I don’t want you to take my comments as in any way patronizing, or admonishing you to “keep your chin up”. You have been hurt badly and things look really dark right now. I gathered as much from several of your posts last week.

        But Scott, you are still you. These situations you find yourself in are not you! I DO hear wisdom and strength in you. I would give all I own to be able to solve your problems, but all I can do is to send you words of encouragement to let you know how special I think you are. You are among many friends here.

        I went through a very bad time several years ago. First, I took a nasty fall from a 4 ft. retaining wall, hitting the concrete and shattering my right hip. To make a long story short, the first surgery was botched…badly!! I had to have a SECOND total hip replacement. No fun, I can assure you with much pain and a long rehabilitation.

        As I was home recuperating from the surgery, a little old man with Alzheimer’s disease drove his SUV into the front of my shop, literally through the front wall of the building, putting me out of business and cutting off my income rather abruptly. I got down to $11 in my bank account, I was running out of food, and my car was almost out of gas. My store looked like a bomb had gone off in there. I had nowhere to put the business, and all of a sudden, no money to work with.

        At the very same time all these calamities were happening, my mom came down with leukemia and died very soon after. My health, my business, and my mother…all in one blow. I felt as if I had a big hole in my gut. So if anyone can relate to some very hard times, I certainly can.

        I am not a religious person. But at that time, I knew I had to depend on my spiritual strength (for want of a better word) to pull me through. This is what I am asking you to tap into. I knew that no matter how dark things were, I still had so much going for me…and I knew in my heart that it would take more than those things to keep me down…not the real me, not the brave me! So I drew from that strength, kept on keepin’ on. I did have the encouragement of others…and this is what I offer to you. Tap into that reservoir of strength that is the real you! I know you can! :-)

        BTW, the little old man with Alzheimer’s was not seriously injured! I felt so sorry for him. He did not have a clue where he was or what had happened. That is such a terrible disease and he was pitiful. I still think of him often.

        • TheRarestPatriot says:

          Oh Em, …I’m so sorry for all the trials you’ve had to endure. I think we’re both so very tired of loss. You do know what this pain is and I thank you for being here for me now. Everyone here is a wonderful force. I do draw strength from this gang while trying to manage a competent posting from time to time. These events just seem to eat away every ounce of what makes a person who they are and at the same time forging a new person if they’re fortunate.
          I’m not a religious person either, yet I truly do believe deeply in the human spirit and connection we all share. I’m just so very tired. You know that feeling….weariness, emptiness, ya’ know? I’ve always HAD the spirit to pull up…pull out of the nosedive…just this time…I feel so disconnected from the world…like I’m outside of the fishbowl looking in. Lost. It’s just situational depression and I understand that…I’m just stumbling my way out, it seems. Thank you again for being here for me right now. Being alone in this empty tomb of a house is just crushing. You and everyone here fills the silence and the echoes. I am lucky indeed. I will stop broadcasting my situation from here on out. I’m glad you’re here after your ordeal. :)

          • Emerald1943 says:

            If you would like, I would love to communicate by email. These things are deeply personal and I thought about that after I posted my reply to you. Perhaps you would rather make this a more private conversation…probably more appropriate right now. We can do that tomorrow through the Author’s Cafe. I’d love to tell you about the article I am working on.

            I can appreciate putting your feelings out there on the line for all to see. Maybe it is cathartic. I hope so!

            It’s 3am here and I must sleep. I have a busy day tomorrow. Let’s catch up with each other in the morning. BTW, what time zone are you in? I’m Eastern.

  2. kesmarn says:

    TRP, so good to see you posting an article here.
    Your sense of humor (as evidenced on your comments on other threads) is still in fine operating condition!
    Would love to hear Hedges, but I’m using an open source OS called Fedora on my computer and it just doesn’t want to play along tonight. Will have to see what I can do about that.

    My brain is too foggy at midnight, though. So this might have to be a project for the morning!

    Thoughts and prayers are still with you!

    • TheRarestPatriot says:

      Thanks Kesmarn. If it were possible to post a transcript of this piece I would do it, but it really is a long and contemplative read. Best to listen to it. Hmmmm…Fedora has issues with that type of file? I’m all about open source and they’re usually pretty good at getting code out there for media files….hmmmm….

      Thank you so much for your karmic support. I feel it…here at PlanetPOV I truly feel it…I’m trying to keep the wit and humor operating for now. I suppose I can give it up once I’m a gibbering, wild-eyed homeless vagabond preaching that the end is near…..LOL~

      …oh wait…I’m that NOW, right?…..LOL

      I hope you and everyone else gets the chance to hear that piece before they take it down. I’ve been in my head the whole night after listening to it….


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