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AdLib On December - 24 - 2009

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS – AT THE PLANET

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the post
Not a blogger was stirring, not even the host.
The comments were hung by the topics with care,
In hopes that sane arguments soon would be there.

The trollies were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Sarah P. danced in their heads.
And Obama in his White House, and Dems in DC,
Had just settled health care for you and for me.

When out on the web there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to my Windows I flew like a flash,
Tore open the browser and cleared out my cache.

The clip was the rest of a new Fox News show
Gave the luster of fairness to Satan below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a hysterical Beck, and his tiny brain fear.

With a little old reflux, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment I surely must click.
More rapid than eagles new pages they came,
And I whistled, and shouted, and called out their names;

“Now, KeithO! Now Maddow! Now,Campbell and Shuster!
On Colbert! On Cooper! On Stewart and Blitzer!
To the top of the rich! To the top of the Wall!
Now slash away! Slash away! Slash away all!”

As dry wits that before the wild teabaggers fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, skewer so wry.

So up to the House-top the Baggers they flew,
With signs full of hate, and heads up their ass too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the news
The danger and horror of those evil Jews.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the channel Saint Huckabee came with a bound.
He was dressed all in Fox, from his head to his foot,
And his image so tarnished with pardons was moot;

A bundle of ploys Rush had flung like a hack,
And he looked like a panderer teabagging his sack.
His eyes — how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His words stunk like dead skunks that someone should bury!

His trolls’ little mouths looked equipped to serve Pez,
And the shade of his soul was as white as the Pres.;
The stub of a pill he held tight in his teeth,
And the haze it encircled his brain like a wreath;

Sarah ran a broad farce, an addiction to telly,
That shook, when she pissed on the press like R. Kelly.
She made horny the chumps, a right folly it was,
And I laughed when I saw her, and all of her flaws;

A wink of her eye and a twist of her head,
Soon gave me to know, Cons gulp all they are fed.
She spoke not a word, but went straight to her book,
And charged all the suckers for her smile or a look .

And laying his future aside of his prose,
And giving a nod, up the mountain “O” rose;
He sprang to his job, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like a drone fired missile.

But I heard him exclaim, as he worked for what’s right,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight.”

Written by AdLib

My motto is, "It is better to have blogged and lost hours of your day, than never to have blogged at all."

27 Responses so far.

Click here to leave a comment
  1. Chernynkaya says:

    That was awesome! And I laughed out loud at this:

    So up to the House-top the Baggers they flew,
    With signs full of hate, and heads up their ass too.

    Now that was some fancy iambic pentameter!

  2. KQuark says:

    Awesome methinks one of your most brilliant AdLib.

    Merry Christmas to you and all my friends on the Planet.

  3. javaz says:

    Excellent, AdLib, and Merry Christmas to everyone!!!

  4. Scheherazade says:

    *standing ovation*

    BRAVO! :)

    *whistles*

    *throws flowers*

    Well done! :)

  5. Kalima says:

    Yes I’m angry with my Church but not this angry, he is near my father’s age, would somebody do that?

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/8430118.stm

    • Chernynkaya says:

      Well, she’s crazy. But about being angry at your Church--I was taught that there is no real faith without anger and doubt. In fact, it is often the sign of a true mystic. “The dark night of the soul.”

      That may not be you, Kalima, but I offer it for what it’s worth. Have you ever seem Julia Sweeney’s one woman show? Excerpts are on YouTube and she is phenomenal! It’s about her spiritual journey from Catholicism to atheism and it covers her whole adult life. And as an atheist, she’s every bit as “spiritual.”

  6. Hopeington says:

    Not a blogger was stirring……til I got in the house,
    And I found all I’d missed with the quick click of a mouse.
    As I started to read, my belly did shake,
    At the words AdLib had written, just for our sake.
    So I started to think bout this placed called the Planet
    And if there was a button, I sure would fan it.
    On topic, off topic, no comments are canned,
    We say what we like, and never get banned.
    So I’d like to say, before I turn out the light,
    That I think everyone here is so brilliant and bright.
    Our thoughts become words, give us hope with their meaning,
    And let us all know we’re not alone in our dreaming.
    So tonight let me thank you, and wish you the best,
    And say Merry Christmas….I really must get some rest!

  7. nellie says:

    Happy Christmas, AdLib. Brilliantly done!

  8. Kalima says:

    MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

  9. Kalima says:

    I can’t find my MB, Merry Christmas from Tokyo with love. Merry Christmas to all of you!

  10. whatsthatsound says:

    An instant classic!

  11. Kalima says:

    Let us ask the sick and the dying, when, why, how?

  12. Emerald1943 says:

    ROTFLMFAO!!! Priceless!

    MERRY CHRISTMAS, ADLIB…AND ALL YOU BEAUTIFUL PLANETPEOPLE!

    BTW, the dinner turned out to be one of the best I’ve ever done! :-)
    I missed you all…but there is still some pie left!

  13. escribacat says:

    Adlib, You never cease to amaze me. This is hilarious. Happy Christmas to you too!

    • AdLib says:

      Thanks escribacat! I do cease at times but only when you’re sleeping.

      A very Merry Xmas to you and your family!

    • boomer1949 says:

      e’cat,

      Yea! You’re here too. Did you go out for Chinese?

      • escribacat says:

        Hiya boomer, Yes we went to a very festively decorated Chinese place where the waiters all wore santa caps and lots of big families were eating together. I have a guest visiting from out of town so haven’t been online much. Tomorrow we’re driving up to my brother’s place in the mountains — as long as there’s no blizzard. Hope you are having a nice holiday.

  14. TheRarestPatriot says:

    Bravo! Loved it!


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