Comments on: God’s Blog – 12-21-09

By: abby4ever

abby4ever — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 09:15:36 +0000

AdLib: As a Christian, from the age of seven, I want to say that your article ‘God’s Blog’ is, though iffy in parts, hilarious.

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By: AdLib

AdLib — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 06:43:01 +0000

Thanks so much, my friend! Hope you’re feeling well!

God read your comment and said he was laughing harder than when he designed men’s genitals.

He asked me to forward the following to you:

My dear AuntieChrist, nice to see you. Especially enjoying your holding End Times above the heads of the extremists until they jump at it then pulling it away, very amusing!

Aw, don’t blame me for everyone who says they’re doing something terrible because I told them to do it. Satan does a good impression of me. He also does a great Dick Cheney. And vice versa.

My son appreciated the dradle, though next time you might try to find one with 4 sides and the proper writing on it instead of a 6 on each of the three sides. Merry AntiChristmas!

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By: whatsthatsound

whatsthatsound — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 05:47:50 +0000

This should become a regular feature, here! You guys are brilliant!

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By: AuntieChrist

AuntieChrist — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 04:02:43 +0000

My fondest Brother,

that was ever so hilarious, a veritable MASTERPIECE — I laughed so hard that it was contagious. Oral Roberts, in his agony alongside Jerry Falwell, both laughed sulfur out of their nostrils due to the contagion of laughter which you’ve unleashed down here.

Damn you.

You and I had agreed that I’d do you a favor by making eternal life miserable for the hapless souls you send my way; but then you went and spoiled it all by recklessly writing of your own feelings for the very types I’ve been tormenting forever! It wouldn’t have been bad if you were like Jules in Pulp Fiction, but no… you made everyone laugh.

You’ve always been so emotional… always with the big books the best sellers. You have such loyal followers and fans… yet it’s never enough… It’s like you want to be Oprah or Sarah Palin.

After so many ages, I’ve finally come to believe Zeus: you did steal his thunder.

Now the damage you’ve done is going to take millennia to undo… The same day you posted this, Constantine (yes, Caesar Flavius Valerius Aurelius Constantinus Augustus) was ready to apologize for the shear madness he had unleashed, but then some demon went rogue and printed your post out on flame retardant paper. Now everyone’s filled with hope and singing ‘Kumbuya’ because they believe that such a jocular God of wit will surely spare them.

Honestly. Even those truly wretched outcasts who’ve been strapped in those chairs seen from ‘A Clockwork Orange’ all in order that they watch nothing but FOX since they’ve been here, even THEY laugh! Though, in truth, they’ve done that ever since they adopted the motto “Fair and Balanced”

So, regardless of which methods of cruelty we use (some which we learned from Dick Cheney) it’s now all for naught.

The work of ages… *poof* gone… just like that!
What were once agonized souls now constantly sing “Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life!”

Jesus!

I need a drink.

Oh, speaking of my dear nephew – I was going to send him some money for his birthday, but I lost everything I had due to a huge ponzi scheme which hasn’t even made the news up on the mortal plane yet.

That also reminds me: the next time any supernatural being has any interaction with a burning Bush? It’s MY turn!

Hope Jesus enjoys the dradle.

Auntie Christ

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